but i digress

Some thoughts on complicated people in your own history, the complex feels of the holiday season, and what happens when life imitates art.

I’ve been thinking about the excellent video from Make Stuff about the use of motifs in Hamilton. I’m going to embed the video, but the tl;dr version is that by repeating words, phrases, musical notes, etc., in a work, you can create layered meaning to evoke complex emotions.

I’m thinking about it in relation to writing, (

Taking a second look at the stories you take for granted

We tell ourselves a lot of stories about our past, to make sense of our lives, how we got to where we are, and how things might have turned out differently. Every now and then, it’s a good idea to consider whether – or to what extent – they’re true. (more…)

It’s time for me to make this year’s “how they beat the bad guy” theory for The Flash. Spoilers ahead for last night’s episode, “Think Fast,” and other episodes from Season 4, so … proceed with caution.

And also, I’m pretty good at this theorizing thing, so even though what follows is JUST MY BEST GUESS, my guesses are … usually pretty good.

Okay. Here’s my theory: The minds/memories of all 12…

So, they’re making a movie of the Dark Phoenix Saga. Again. At least this time, they have enough respect for the source material to not make it a side plot. It’s the whole damn point of the movie. As it should be. Even so, it’s a lot to bite off in one film.  As a huge fan of the character of Jean Grey, and this particular story, here is what you’d need, IMO, to do even the most stripped-down…

I would love to say it’s been a busy summer, and in some ways that’s true. Mostly, it’s been a summer when I didn’t feel much like talking. Or writing, although I did it anyway because I like being gainfully employed. My eldest moved out in June, and my youngest is starting 8th grade today. I’m feeling melancholy that by the time I was able to work from home, both my kids were too old for it to…

"A world of pure imagination": wherein I decide to tackle a new medium. #interactivefiction #textgames

One of the hardest parts of writing for me is making choices. I’m an INFP, and the “P” means I prefer leaving things open-ended. Every story has multiple paths it could take. Many of them are equally interesting. A few months ago, I read an article on SWFA.org about Twine, a program for creating interactive fiction. It brought back all my memories of text-based videogames like Shadowgate and…

This is not a recap, because I have zero time to write one. Just a few thoughts in the aftermath of “Infantino Street. Spoilers ahead, y’all. 

...without deleting Barry’s brain.

Y’all. It is a little wrong how much I enjoyed happy, goofy “Bart” in this week’s episode “Cause and Effect.” Like Iris, part of me wanted to just keep this cheerful puppy version around as long as possible.

Also, I am fully here for Julian putting emojis in self-aggrandizing teleprompter scripts. Even if it did lead to releasing a violent arsonist. Without the release of said arsonist, our team would have lacked the necessary motivation to reboot Barry’s tragedy-drenched brain. See? Cause and effect all over the place. 

ANYWAY... After last week’s Big Reveal that I WAS TOTALLY RIGHT, I’ve been thinking about how Team Flash can save Iris and defeat Savitar. As with my “Savitar is Barry” theory, I’m grounding this in (what I think are) clues the writer’s have already laid out for us. 

Note that I didn’t say how Barry can save Iris and defeat Savitar. Because I think we’ve established there’s no way Barry can save her. Anything he cooks up, or even is aware of, Savitar will know about and build a contingency plan. 

Which is why Team Flash will have to plan it without telling him. In fact, it’s critical that he not only not know about the plan in advance, but (for at least a time), believe Iris has died. 

To save Iris West, the team will have to kill her. Or at least, a reasonable facsimile. And Barry will have to believe he’s watching the love of his life die in front of him, so Savitar remembers it that way, to preserve the chain of cause and effect and close the loop. 

The easiest way to pull this off is for Wally or Jessie to carry Iris fast enough to create a time remnant. We’d also end up with a bonus Wally or Jessie, but that’s not too terrible, assuming they learned from what happened with Evil Remnant Barry. If they give Bonus Speedster some support and love, I’m sure there’s an Earth out there who could use a bonus Kid Flash or Jessie Quick. 

The real Iris goes into hiding. Savitar kills the time remnant while Barry watches in horror, closing the loop of cause and effect. HR shoots Savitar with Tracy’s Speed Force bazooka, which if you’ll remember, we already saw him holding on a nearby building. 

BOOM. Our season is wrapped up, folks. It sucks for remnant Iris, but it’s also a way for Iris to literally save herself, and the rest of the world from Savitar. By making an extra self to sacrifice. Which, yes, is weird.

Admittedly, there are some problems, but creating a fake Iris a different way could avoid those. I mean, we have a team of geniuses who can access the multiverse. Maybe Fake Iris is a shape-shifting meta who isn’t even injured by Savitar, because s/he can just wrap her molecules around the hole in her chest like Play-Doh. Splatter pack in her clothes = Problem solved. 

But I think the general theory of “the way to defeat Savitar is to let him and Barry believe he killed Iris” is solid. This not only ties up the whole Savitar story nicely, it fits the season’s theme: that it’s Barry’s relationships, not his powers, which make him a hero. He’s not a god, and he can’t fix everything all by himself. Teamwork makes the dream work, and all that. 

Which, assuming we haven’t reclaimed Killer Frost by season’s end, sets us up nicely for a “Rogues Gallery versus Team Flash” season 4. Which would rock.

My one niggling doubt about this theory is that I don’t know what that second thing Savitar needs to become “God of Speed” might be. If it’s something that he gets after killing Iris, that’s ... a problem. 

But maybe he needs the alien battery pack Flash is teaming up with Snart to steal next week? (Aside: How happy am I to see him back? Almost as happy as I was seeing Smilin' Barry back). 

If so, I think we’re good here. Savitar will just steal it from the heroes immediately after they steal it, and they’ll all be like, “Damn. This is literally exactly what happened with the Philosopher’s Stone,” and then things can proceed as I’ve described, with a brief side mission to steal the battery for Tracy’s bazooka back.

I have less confidence in this theory than my “Savitar is Future Barry” theory, because HOLY COW, people, did they ever foreshadow the sweet bejeezus out of that. It does play nicely off the pieces they’ve set up, but it’s not a total lock. I would say I’m about 60-70% confident in this theory. 

In the last couple of episodes, the villain drops a lot of clues to his identity. As if he almost wants Team Flash to figure out who he is.

And I think it’s because he’s a future version of Barry. Why?

Two times, Savitar says “I am the future, Flash.” And anytime the writers have a character repeat a line, you should pay attention. I think he said it that first time they hooked up poor Julian as their human Ouiji board, too. But is that really what he said?

Or did he say “I am the future Flash.”

I think it’s the latter. I think he’s literally telling them who he is. And if that’s the case, he’s either Barry or Wally. And while I think we are supposed to believe it’s Wally, I am leaning towards Barry himself.

What else does Savitar tell us about himself? That he has ALWAYS been Barry’s greatest enemy, not Reverse Flash or Zoom. If that’s the case, how can it be Wally, who just appeared recently?

Who did Barry just spend an entire episode in the speed force blaming for every terrible thing that has happened, all the way back to his mother’s death?

What if the Speed Force wasn’t trying to tell him that he has to save Iris, but once again, that he can’t save everybody? That Eddie, Ronnie and Wally made their own choices, and he needs to stop with the god (of speed?) complex, believing he’s responsible for everything?

Barry is - and has always been - his own worst enemy.

One last clue, which is sort of a cheat in that it happened in a different show (although we did hear about it during the crossover). When Jax and Grey stumbled on that message in the Waverider from a future Barry, telling them not to trust him. 

We’re meant to think it was just the writers’ way of letting the other Arrowverse characters know about Flashpoint. But what if it was also planting an early clue to Savitar’s identity, long before we were looking?

Was that a version of Barry who was slowly losing his grip after too many losses? Was he trying to warn his friends of what he was becoming?

Savitar says he created himself. That’s intended to make us think Wally, because Savitar did give Wally his power. So is the line about Barry having everything, and deserving none of it. It’s supposed to make us think of Wally’s early jealousy of Barry, who essentially took his place in his family. But Barry also carries a lot of guilt, and doesn’t believe he deserves everything he has.  

If Barry’s losses and mistakes are what push him over the edge, it could be true that Savitar creates himself by giving Barry the final loss he knows he can’t get over. Maybe he’s just doing it decades ahead of schedule.

Supposedly Barry imprisoned Savitar in the Speed Force in the future. What if he once again blamed himself for some tragic loss, (maybe Iris’ eventual death) and imprisoned himself after sending the Legends that cryptic warning?

And in the madness that ensued, turning him into Savitar, he decided to go back in time to create himself sooner by killing Iris, before his “heroic” version could do any more damage?

If Iris is supposed to die much later, Savitar is screwing with the timeline. That *should* provoke a time wraith, which we haven’t seen (except for that Speed Force vision…hmmm).

Which brings us to Savitar’s armor. The final piece of the puzzle. According to Team Flash, it “both does and doesn’t exist.” What does a time traveling invincible speedster, who has easily beaten every present day hero, need with armor?

The armor isn’t to protect him from them. It’s to cloak him from the speed wraith.

Because future Barry Allen - the future Flash - is once again trying to change his own past. That is why the Speed Force doesn’t trust him. They weren’t talking about Flashpoint, or at least, they weren’t just talking about Flashpoint. That is what they mean when they say he keeps saying one thing and doing another.

Because there are two Barry Allens. A hero and a villain.

A couple of years ago, Amtrak offered a “Writers Residency” based on a random tweet from a writer. I submitted an application for that program, but didn’t get accepted. Still, ever since then I’ve wanted to do my own “Writing Retreat on Rails.” I love trains (at least, I loved them in Japan). I love writing. It just seemed like the perfect combination. This March, my family is traveling to…