Jennawynn

She easily could prevent herself from getting pregnant or self-terminate with her powers. Just shapeshift her organs to remove the womb whenever is convenient.

And being pregnant is very inconvenient for an assassin.

But instead, there's at least three unwanted children out there that she's brought to term before giving up, including Graydon Creed.

One possible answer is that maybe she's pro-life, which is a hilarious thought for an infamous assassin. She won't kill a fetus, but once you're born all bets are off.

However, in X-Men: Blue Origins, it's shown that Mystique, after supplying her wife with sperm to conceive Nightcrawler, used her shapeshifting powers to affect a pregnancy herself, to share in the act with her wife.

Which leads me to ask: does Mystique just... like being pregnant? I know some people do. It's absolutely a thing. Any sensation the human body is capable of is one that someone out there enjoys feeling.

Is she getting her kicks from the pregnancy and then not giving a shit about the resulting kid?

Look over there. There’s a Catergory 3 Kaiju. Biggest one yet. 

Do NOT change the story to make it palatable to them. They will never like it. There is nothing you can do to make them like it

But there are so many people out there who will like it. And if you tone down the things that make other people not like it, you’re also toning down the things that make these people really like it

Would you rather have a story that’s loved and hated, or a story that nobody finds notable, and thus is easily forgotten?

Don’t tone yourself down to make people like it — tone yourself up. Make it so unapologetically you that instead of merely disliking it, they absolutely hate it

It went... unpleasantly viral, and still to this day it gets a dozen to a hundred comments per day, depending on how much the algorithm is pushing it. And they go basically like this:

Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of comments like this, completely non-stop. I've removed the most heinous bigotry from the screenshots here (transphobia, racism, violent misogyny, etc), but they are all the same two or three arguments, the same thought-terminating clichés, regurgitated on auto-pilot, forever.

I think it's easy to underestimate just how deeply brain-poisoned culture is by the beauty standards that are pushed on us. There is this reflexive and instant disgust response in so many people at the mere suggestion that anything other than the beauty ideal could possibly be desirable. And it is disgust, because nothing else can produce such amounts of venom and moral judgment so fast.

The women that these people are all so offended by look like this, by the way:

From the photo collection Athlete by Howard Schatz, 2002

I thought was making a mild, inoffensive, milquetoast suggestion in my video. I wrote it thinking "okay, what's the broadest, most mainstream acceptable, gentlest, most non-controversial version of this argument I can make?"

As Zoey's become increasingly fond of saying since The Incident, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

However. She would still love some context for what happened to Rumi. Because since waking up in that hotel room with a marriage certificate next to them, she's been...different.

Quiet, touch-averse, my-walls-have-walls Rumi, has been acting completely different since, despite the fact that they'd all agreed to forget that night happened and never go back to Las Vegas. She's been open to touch, to cuddles, even to going to the bathouse - at least, until those demons had interrupted their trip - and most concerningly (the only concerning thing, really, Rumi's hugs are so nice) talking about her childhood with surprising openness.

She's saying things like "I know I'm a mistake who shouldn't have been born but I'm so glad you two accept me" or "Celine made sure I've always known there's something wrong with me and said you could never know" or "I always thought I'd die doing my duty before I ever got to truly be loved" and she says it all with the most disturbingly-unbothered tone and expression, and if asked, just says somethimg to the tune of you know why in a small voice that's nothing like her usual confidence.

Mira's fairly certain now that Rumi's at least passively suicidal, and hasn't taken her eyes off her. And has been talking about Celine with a hatred formerly reserved for the assholes previously known as her parents. And with everything Rumi's been saying, it's not hard to see the horrifying levels of self-hatred she's carrying around.

At first, Zoey had wondered if it's because she's bi, but then remembered that Celine is literally the gayest woman in existence and in fact taught Rumi how to do her bi-liner. She's since upgraded her theory to Rumi being some form of trans, but even that doesn't make sense, because Celine hasn't been transphobic towards Mira - or anyone else, for that matter - in the slightest.

And even with her newfound willingness to cuddle and trauma-dump, Rumi still isn't sharing much actual detail about whatever she's hiding. Whatever it is clearly hurts to talk about, with how much she shies away from it, and as far as Zoey can guess, the only time she's ever talked about it was the night they all got so drunk that they went and got Vegas-married. Which seems to have opened the metaphorical floodgates and left her feeling so much more free to talk about all those faults and fears Celine hates the sharing of so much.

The problem is, she can't remember the Horrifying Rumi Lore that had to have been revealed that night, and neither can Mira.

And of course they can't tell their girl that. It would be awful to her. Bad enough that they've forgotten one of the most important conversations they've ever had - asking her to go through explaining it again would just be cruel.

Okay, so she’s not talking about any of it directly—she’s really and honestly so happy that she apparently got enough liquid courage in her to trust that Mira and Zoey would understand and help her get rid of her patterns instead of rejecting her, but that doesn’t mean she should be rubbing all of the gross, painful, horribleness in their faces (or her own)—but she is talking about it, and it’s such a relief to just be able to say things

(…She’s not thinking about the wedding certificate that she’d stared at the entire time Zoey was ransacking the room to make sure they didn’t get licenses. Or the blurry memories of the night before. None of that ever happened.)

(And she won’t say she wants to kiss them again.)

And they still want to be around her! Even touch her! Zoey hugs her just as much (maybe more) and she doesn’t seem to mind at all that Rumi’s started to reach out more, just a little

(It kind of reminds her of back when they were kids and she’d started figuring out that Zoey took comfort from touch and making up all those ridiculous rules in her head for when she was allowed to initiate—what counted as being for Zoey enough. She’d slimmed it down considerably over the years, bencause all that really mattered was that it wasn’t for her and it wouldn’t show her patterns, but… she’s starting to wonder if it might not be okay if it’s for her sometimes? Just a little?)

And they still invite her to the bathhouse! Mira was so happy, and then even after it went wrong she still went and got them face masks to do while cuddling on the couch—like it really was that important to her that she spend time with Rumi. Not just like it always had been, but… like it still was

But. Then. Every once in a while…

It’s strange, how she doesn’t see any new urgency about the Golden Honmoon in them. She’d always thought that—that it would matter to them, the way it does to her. Because it’s her

Maybe she’s just being selfish, but it still kind of hurts, how they just brush off her every hope for the future. They love her! She knows they do! They love her in ways she never really thought possible! But she still wishes that they might want to save her a little more, and not just the world

And then Mira’s developed this weird grudge against Celine for some reason?

The kind of weird grudge that makes Rumi really concerned, because she’s broken out the tone that she reserves for her birth family, and Rumi doesn’t even want to think about how she could’ve missed Celine doing something like—

“She made you believe there was something fundamentally wrong with you,” Mira says, nearly shaking with the effort it’s taking her to say that in an almost-calm manner.

Ever since the girls got back from the US leg of their tour they've been acting...different.

Mira is inexplicable hostile towards her. During their most recent official meeting she spent the entire time pinning Celine with the same murderous look she typically reserved for her parents, she pointedly edged herself in front of Rumi when Celine passed them in the hall almost like she expected her to strike out like a snake, and when she ran into Bobby yesterday he sheepishly informed her that Mira has instructed him to screen Celine's calls.

"Did...something happen, between you two?" he'd asked, a look of mixed concern and trepidation twisting his face.

And she'd had to answer that she honestly didn't know.

Zoey has seemed flighty. Which is not too far off from the girl's hyperactive normal, but this...this is different. Like she's plagued by an itch but can't tell where to scratch to soothe it. She keeps looking at Rumi with knotted brows, not the way she did when they were new to each other and in that awkward 'getting to know you' phase, but like she's trying to solve a riddle.

Celine never was good at those.

Most puzzling of all, Rumi is happy. Truly, thoroughly, ridiculously happy. She's still focused on the Golden Honmoon, of course; Celine raised her to be a Hunter. But during their talks, there's a buoyancy in her words, a lightness in her smile, a sparkle in her eyes that was never there before, like...

...Like Miyeong in the months after she met him.

"Rumi, you know what your contract says about dating, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"And you know you can't risk someone finding out about the patterns, right?"

"Celine, why are asking this?"

"Just- please tell me you aren't dating anyone."

"...I am definitely not dating anyone."

(did she just hesitate?)

Celine elects to not push; after all, the girls are adults who are well-acquainted with the contracts they signed; she trusts them to not do something irresponsible.

And Rumi is happy.

But...she keeps an eye on things from a distance; she refuses to have history repeat.

The day she sees the footage from the fan signing with those hacks the Saja Boys and Rumi's little "woo Jinu."

I’d figured they didn’t get quite that far—I mean, if we reach the events of the film, then Jinu’s bathhouse save doesn’t happen and instead becomes the real reveal? But let’s say Rumi still freezes up on instinct and then pushes her girls away, telling them there’s no injury and assuming they wouldn’t want to see

We will say the girls don’t stop “Golden” early: Rumi actually thinks to mention it, having gotten so practiced with feelings talk, and Mira and Zoey both flip out to insist that she don’t, they need to relax, if they push too hard they won’t live to see the Golden Honmoon!

(This provides room for many silly shenanigans with Huntrix, who are supposed to be on hiatus, creating reasons to do press things so as to keep the Saja Boys back, and dropping it just a bit later)

And then Rumi and Jinu start happening, and she’s actually telling her girls about how eugh, he acts like he can “understand” her just because he saw, they know she’s not—just because she’s… she’s not like them, right? (Mira and Zoey are losing their minds as they insist that she isn’t, what the actual fuck and hell.) But he’d actually seemed to mean it when he said that he had feelings, that all he did was feel…

And Rumi’s trying to figure him out, and her girls are trying to figure her out, and Jinu is surprised as shit when Rumi tells him that Mira and Zoey do know about her patterns, actually

Enter: one very freaked out Celine, who can’t reach Mira or Zoey by phone and really wants to make sure that no one is dating any demons. Please. Please that’s all she wants to know

And Celine takes it. Blunts the barrage like she did when she was the only hunter. But she could shrug off a scrape or a cut. The sheer weight of Zoey’s words are impossible to ignore.

As Zoey’s emotionally-fueled rambles devolve into blubbering, Celine hugs Zoey. And cries.

She sobs. Her corporate No Emotion Face cracks. She drops her head onto Zoey’s shoulder and sobs. She didn’t want Rumi to feel like this. She unloads her emotions and Rumi’s secret, with similar fervor to Zoey just moments before.

Zoey is right there with Celine. Helping her through it. Using breathing exercises. Listening to what she has to say, no matter how hare-brained it seems. Zoey almost doesn’t register the fact that Rumi is half-demon, and she feels betrayed, but she knows that is a problem for future her and Rumi.

The fact that Rumi’s confession was apparently to having demon patterns is. Way beyond her pay grade. And part of her does flinch at the idea: yes, that is wrong, Rumi isn’t a demon, they should hide them and get rid of them

But she’s spent all of that time since The Incident telling Rumi she isn’t wrong. Hoping Rumi will be more honest with her. Trying to figure out how to help her and wishing she had more information. Seeing all of these things they didn’t even know to help with before

And, fuck, the idea of them hurting Rumi because they saw the patterns and didn’t understand—

That one, she has to ask Celine. And Celine looks at her, tired, red-eyed, covered in both of their snot, and tries to compose herself before she says, “I had to consider all of the risks.”

She looks stupid. Not a perfect idol, just—a woman. Who tried. And if Rumi thought all of those risks weren’t real, then… she probably wouldn’t have needed to get blackout drunk to tell them.

“Okay,” Zoey says, even though she wants to scream some more. “Okay, I—I have to talk to Mira. And Rumi. I—where’s my phone?”

The events of the movie happen. Rumi is more open with her girls about what's happening with Jinu, but she still can't quite bring herself to say out loud that she's half demon (why say it, they already know) and Mira and Zoey are just kind of confused but playing along because they do trust Rumi even though something is clearly weird.

And then Rumi stumbles backstage at the Idol Awards with her jacket torn off and her patterns showing, having the worst day of her life, and she sees Mira and Zoey.

"Oh, thank goodness it's you, I thought--"

"Rumi, how do you have patterns?"

Rumi's surprise is enough to break her out of her spiral. "What? You know I have patterns, you've known ever since Vegas--"

"Oh!" says Zoey, as everything suddenly fits together in her head, and she has the all-too-familiar sensation of having too many thoughts in her head to fit out of her mouth. "Oh! That's-- and you-- we didn't-- but that's why--"

And Mira says, "If somebody doesn't tell me what fuck is going on in the next two fucking seconds, then I'm going to-- to-- I don't fucking know, but somebody is going to be fucking sorry I did it!"

And Rumi says, "We had drunk sex in Vegas, how could you possibly not know I'm a half-demon?"

Zoey is waving her arms and shouting incoherent monosyllables as she tries to make all her thoughts get in line so she can say them.

Mira says, "Who exactly had this drunk sex with you? Because I'm pretty sure I would remember that!"

Jinu thinks he got the Honmoon via The Scandal TM and that he got Rumi with the. Yk. Horrible assault. Except it turns out Rumi is made of something insane and really only cares that she’s got actual love and acceptance and the Huntrix fandom is losing it at the confirmation that Rumi had drunk sex with… someone? Probably Zoey????

Every once in a while I check on their blog for what the OTW is up to, and occasionally I uncover a real gem.

Like the non-canonical tag wrangling for example.

This will help auto-suggest give a smaller, more easily selectable set of tags, but still not prevent you from making your own.

I thought: “Oh, that’s awesome. So, like, “fluff and feels” and “fluffy” would get merged or something, yeah?”

Such a sweet little example.

Right?

So sweet.

So pure.

But when I looked at the actual tags…

I burst into laughter.

Because no, grrl.

It was not fluffy or fluff and feels.

It was this:

My GOD I love AO3.

Bless you, tag wranglers.

And bless you even more Organization for Transformative Works.

And bless you even more than that, fanfic writers.

I PRAY MY FINGIES I CAN KEEP

AND IF MY FINGIES ALL SHOULD BREAK