Katarena

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014

Raphael's Big Mistake

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

Living Well Is The Best Revenge

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31

The Secret Life Of Taylor Bonus Stories

Suffering In Silence, You Weren't Supposed To Get Hurt, In The Dark, Not Her Fault, Goodnight, That Includes You, Facing Your Fears, Lies, Catharsis, Movie Night

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2003

Distractions

Redwall

Mist: Part 1, Part Two

Can't Hold His Liquor

2024 Autumn Prompts

Just One More, Breakfast in Bed, Forced Rest, Reassurance, The Powder

2025 Autumn Prompts

Lancelot would be a water bender. He's associated with water in Arthurian legend (and because of that episode that shall not be named), so I think this fits. Also, he's got quite a gentle side and I think he'd use water to heal (a nod to the scene with the Vilia).

Every team needs a Badass Normal and in this one, it's Leon.

Gwaine is a free spirit who goes wherever the wind takes him. Think that says it all, really.

Percival is an earthbender - think a younger version of Bumi in power levels. He might also be capable of lavabending, but they wouldn't be in a situation dangerous enough for them to find out.

Lancelot's death was when everything started to go downhill. Merlin is never as carefree again after 4x02.

But the writers could have given us a hopeful ending. Say, elderly Merlin is standing with his back to us, looking out over the lake, when he hears two voices.

"Excuse me. Is there any chance you might be able to help us?"

"Yeah, we're meeting up with some friends and we're not sure we're in the right place."

The world seems to stand still, because he knows those voices and so do we.

It's Lancelot. And Gwaine.

We only see their backs as Merlin turns around and grins. "Trust me, gentlemen. You are in just the right place."

Comfyvember Day 4: Sleeping on the couch

Merlin didn’t often get the house to himself, and tonight he was going to make the most of it. The others had gone to Gaius’s Tavern about an hour ago. Merlin could have gone, but he just wasn’t in the mood for it. Work had been a bit rough this week, and the last thing he needed was to be in a noisy environment even if it was with people he cared about.

He snuggled deeper under the soft blanket and took a sip of hot chocolate. The rich liquid warmed his stomach pleasantly. With a smile, he picked up his book and let the words swirl around him and transport him to a different world.

Eventually the hot chocolate was finished, and Merlin’s eyelids started to grow heavy. He yawned and put the book down. He could rest his eyes, just for a moment…

xxx

“Guys,” Gwaine whispered, waving Lancelot and the others over. “Guys, look at this.”

They peered into the sitting room of the shared house. Merlin lay on the sofa, half-covered by a grey velvet blanket and a book resting an inch away from his hands. His eyes were closed, and his chest rose and fell gently.

“Do we leave him there, or should we wake him up?” Elyan asked. “He looks so peaceful.”

Arthur moved past them. “I’ll get him.” Stepping softly towards the sofa, he put Merlin’s book to one side (still open at the right page), then tucked the blanket under Merlin and lifted him up.

He glared at the others. “Don’t. Say. Anything.”

“We wouldn’t dream of it,” Leon reassured him. Merlin had become the “little brother” of the group, and big brothers carried little brothers to bed when they fell asleep.

🥀 favorite angst quote from a published work

My fics aren't short on angst, but I think this quote is my favourite. It's from Living Well Is The Best Revenge, where Taylor finally can't deal with the suppressed trauma.

"Hey."

No. No. Not him. Please. Anyone but him. Leave me alone.

"You OK?"

Anger wells up...no, it's not anger. It's rage.

And Taylor just snaps.

"Of course I'm not!" She whirls around and glares at Raphael with angry, tear-filled eyes. "I didn't ask for this - any of this! I didn't want to go through the most terrifying experience of my life! I didn't want to think I was going to die because I wasn't April or because I found out you existed!"

"You thought that?"

"Yes! I still do!" Everything Taylor has held back is coming out and she doesn't do a thing to stop it. "I couldn't sleep properly for ages after that, 'cos I thought one of you might come in and kill us."

"What?"

"I don't feel safe anymore!" Taylor cries. She looks up at him, right into his eyes. Any fear she used to feel because of him has gone. "Why? Why couldn't you have just left us alone? Why did you do it?"

"I'm sorry!"

They just stand there, looking at each other. The whole lair is silent. Taylor's breath is harsh in her throat; Raphael's cry seems to have taken any more words away from her.

There's no anger in his gaze. The whole lair has fallen silent.

"I..." He moves restlessly, unable to look at her. "I never..." Then he stops. "I'm sorry."

Slowly, he kneels down and presses his forehead to the floor. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Taylor."

More tears well up. She can't stop them, or the sobs that break out of her mouth. Before she can collapse, she feels herself being wrapped in a tight hug and that's when she finally, finally lets go.

Flufftober Day 6: Late Night Talk. Although, this is actually the morning after the late night talk. A sequel to Confrontation.

Don didn’t want to open his eyes. All around him was warmth, comfort and safety – three things he hadn’t associated with Raph for two years.

Raph would open his eyes soon. Most likely, with a rather nasty hangover.

Someone leapt from the upper floor and walked towards the dojo. Don knew it was Leo from his soft tread. The eldest turtle liked to have an early morning meditation before Mikey made breakfast.

Leo paused, then quietly walked up to the sofa and stood there for a few seconds, watching his two younger brothers: Raph with his arms wrapped around Don, and Don resting quietly.

A warm, calloused hand landed on top of Don’s head and stroked it three times. Then Leo moved away.

He had always been able to tell when Don was feigning sleep.

But he could feign it no longer. Bears with sore heads had nothing on a hungover Raph.

Don extracted himself from his brother’s embrace, carefully enough so as not to disturb said brother, then padded into the kitchen to put the kettle on. He hadn’t turned the light off from the late night “talk” he’d had with Raph, so someone else must have done it. He suspected Leo or Master Splinter.

Maybe Mikey would make bacon and scrambled eggs when he came down. That was Raph’s favourite hangover breakfast – or it had been. Don wasn’t sure if that was the case now.

Speaking of hangovers, there was an unspoken agreement that one of Leo’s teas was the perfect cure and it was available to any turtle who had need of it. If Don was going to try and mend bridges with Raph successfully this time – and Don knew it was going to be a rough road – making him some of that tea might be the best way to start.

“Y’know…Keep havin’ this dream, that there’s a huge ravine and I can’t get to you. And there’re burnt bridges everywhere, an…I wake up, and the ravine’s still there.”

Don sighed and poured the boiling water into the mugs. Coffee for himself, hangover tea for Raph.

His tea from last night was still on the counter.

xxx

Raph trudged into the kitchen, his jaw clenched.

“Tea’s on the counter.”

“Thanks.”

Don watched warily as Raph picked up the mug and took several sips. What was going to happen now? Would Raph even remember what they’d said last night?

Who was Don kidding? This was Raph. Question was, would he do anything about it?

Raph sat right next to him. “You said we’d talk in the morning. Can we start now?”

If you think we can do it without the conversation exploding, yeah. “Yes.”

The trouble was, Don didn’t know what to say to his own brother. Every time they’d tried to talk things out as a family, they would be uncomfortably reminded that one of them wasn’t there and it always ended badly.

Don wasn’t as forgiving as Mikey. He never had been. Leo’s absence had been hard for them as well as Raph; they were just better at hiding it.

“I meant what I said, Donnie.” Raph looked right at him, his expression sad and solemn. “I really am sorry for treatin’ you and Mikey like that. I got no excuse.”

“I wasn’t nice to you either,” Don admitted. “I’m sorry too. Sincerely. I just wish it hadn’t taken Leo coming back for us to have this conversation.”

Raph gulped at his tea, wincing at the taste. “Shouldn’t have taken me gettin’ drunk to talk to you about it.”

“Well, getting you to talk about your feelings always has been harder than doing a Rubik’s cube blindfolded.”

Raph chuckled. “I ain’t got a problem talkin’ about how I feel. It just ain’t positive feelings.” His amber eyes turned warm and tender. “But I am gonna work on the good stuff, Donnie. And…I won’t ever treat you or Mikey like that again.”

Don gave his brother a soft, genuine smile. “If you ever have that dream again, I hope there’s a bridge across that ravine.” He swallowed down the last of his coffee. “I mean, all this family has is each other."

“If there is a bridge, I’m carryin’ you over it.”

“You’ll have to find me first.”

Raph grinned. “Oh yeah? C’mere!”

Don sprang to his feet, only for his brother to catch him around the waist. Raph wrestled him to the ground, shoved his hands under Don’s arms and started tickling him ruthlessly.

“Raph! Stop!” Laughter bubbled out of Don’s throat as he twisted and squirmed. “Mercy!”

When was the last time Raph had played with him like this?

Eventually, the affectionate torture ended, and Don found himself being helped to his feet and then wrapped in a fierce, strong embrace. He reciprocated, burying his face in Raph’s neck.

“I love you, brother.”

“I love you too. Always will.”

Flufftober Day 3: In Vino Veritas (At least, it was MEANT to be Flufftober)

Don had just put on the kettle when Raph stumbled into the kitchen. One look at his brother’s gait and unfocused, bleary eyes and Don’s heart dropped like a stone.

Raph was drunk.

It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before, but drunk Raph could be mean. Don still couldn’t forget some of the things an intoxicated Raph had said to him and Mikey during Leo’s absence – and the worst part was, Raph had never apologised for them.

Oh, he remembered saying them. But when Don had tried confronting him about it, he’d just shouted at him to get over it before turning his back and walking away.

“Hey. How ‘bout a…cup of coffee?”

Don opened the cupboard and took out one mug. “You know where the coffee is, Raph.” He put the right amount of tea leaves into the strainer and poured the water. A tiny whisper in his mind told him that letting his drunk brother handle hot water probably wasn’t the best idea, but Raph should have thought about that beforehand.

He’d certainly be in hot water tomorrow when Master Splinter saw how hungover he was.

“It’s not fair.”

Don scoffed, shaking his head. “What, that I’m not making you coffee? You’re a big turtle, Raph; you can make your own…”

“You forgave Leo, but not me.”

The kitchen fell silent. Don stared at the steaming beverage in front of him, his chest prickling with heat.

“You don’t talk t’me unless you have to. You don’t wanna get coffee and watch TV anymore. You…you don’t even smile at me, Donnie. And I know why, but…Leo hurt you too, and you talk to him. Why not me?”

Don quietly removed the strainer from the mug and set it aside. “Because Leo apologised and you didn’t. Not to Mikey, or to me.”

He wasn’t lying. Leo privately sought both Don and Mikey out individually and spoke to them; it took Don a while to get everything off his chest, and Leo accepted that it might take a while for his brothers to forgive him for leaving them, but forgiveness had settled in eventually.

“OK. I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry.

Don had wanted to hear those words, and it didn’t change anything about how he felt. He could still remember everything. He was still angry and resentful.

Raph went to the cupboard and took out a packet of biscuits. "We've got cookies. You have one."

He held out the packet hopefully. Don stared at the packet, wanting a cookie and yet not wanting one, because taking it felt like accepting the apology.

But drunk Raph could be mean Raph, so he took one without thanking him.

Raph seemed to sense that, because his face fell and he sighed heavily. “Y’know…” He pushed back a chair, scraping it on the floor and lowering his large bulky frame into it with a soft thud. “Keep havin’ this dream, that there’s a huge ravine and I can’t get to you. And there’re burnt bridges everywhere, an…”

Raph’s voice wavered. He closed his eyes and took a shaking breath.

“I wake up, and the ravine’s still there.”

Don didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what was going to happen in the morning. Would he be expected to put everything behind him now, and would Raph be angry his apology hadn’t been accepted?

“You’re drunk, Raph. You shouldn’t be down here.”

“Yeah. I…”

Raph staggered, clutching at the table for support. Immediately, Don was beside him, catching his wrist and tugging an arm over his shoulders. There was no way they were getting up the stairs with Raph in his condition, so instead Don took him over to the old, worn couch and gently pushed him onto it.

“I’ll get a blan…hey!”

Raph reached up and tugged Don onto the couch with him, wrapping him in his arms and squeezing. “No, no. Don’t go.”

Don couldn’t move. Raph’s arms were clasped around his, and his head rested on his brother’s shoulder.

All right. If this was what Raph needed, Don could give him that. Just until he fell asleep.

“You’re so precious t’me. You and Mikey, my little brothers. I’ll be better now. Promise.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow, Raph.”

“OK.”

Slowly, the powerful arms relaxed. Don could have shrugged them away and got up, but he didn’t want to. After all this time, they were still one of the safest places he knew.

“…always loved you,” Raph murmured. “Always will.”

Tagged by @griseldabanks. Also, Gris (am I allowed to call you that?), thanks for helping me out with this story.

Rules: You will be given a word. Share a snippet from a WIP for [that contains every letter in] that word, then tag some friends and give them a new word.

My Word: TANGLED

WIP: This is from my TMNT 2014 fanfic series The Secret Life of Taylor. The story is called Baking Lesson.

OK, let's do this. @griseldabanks, thanks for helping me out with this passage! You're awesome.

Rules: You will be given a word. Share a snippet from a WIP for [that contains every letter in] that word, then tag some friends and give them a new word.

My Word: TANGLED

WIP: This is from my TMNT 2014 fanfic series The Secret Life of Taylor. The story is called Baking Lesson.

She gently uses a wooden spatula to place the cookies on the cooling racks, which are just large enough for all of them. Her mouth waters at the sight and smell.

“Whoa,” Mikey says, peering down.

“I’m sure you boys wouldn’t mind doing the washing-up while you wait,” Splinter calls. Knowing it’s not a request, the remaining turtles enter the kitchen and start to gather everything up, dumping it in the sink and turning on the taps.

“And no touching the cookies!”

Four voices chorus: “Hai, Sensei.”

Feeling just a little crowded by the four hulking frames, Taylor quietly edges out of the way. The turtles make short work of the washing-up, although one time the mixing bowl almost falls onto the floor and Donnie barely manages to catch it.

Taylor winces, thinking about how she’s not exactly the best at cleaning up after herself. Her own room back in the flat is a tip right now, and she often leaves dishes in the sink.

But is what is she supposed to do now? Should she quietly excuse herself and leave them to enjoy the food? (It’s not like she was invited here – she invited herself.)

“Would you like your tea heated up?” Splinter asks.

“Thanks, that’d be great.”

While Splinter warms up her tea in the microwave, Taylor listens to the turtles talking. Somehow the conversation turns to Mikey ribbing Raph about his name (she’s got no idea how that happened).

“…all the good ones end in ‘o’, dude!”

Raph puts a massive hand on Mikey’s face and pushes him away.

“Actually, it does,” Taylor mutters to herself.

“Sorry?” Donnie asks. All the turtles turn around and Taylor freezes under their gazes.

Just for a moment.

“The Italian version of Raph’s name does end in ‘o’. It’s just that the artist is better known by the Hebrew version.”

“Really?” Raph shifts around a little. “They get Italian names, but I get Hebrew? How come?”

Taylor shrugs. “Sorry, no idea.”

(She does have a suspicion, but there’s no way she’s going to tell him what it is.)

“If the cookies are cool enough, you may have two each before the second half starts,” Splinter tells his sons as he hands Taylor her tea.

Leo carefully picks up a cookie – the one that’s the crispiest around the edges. “I think they’re fine, guys.” He pops it in his mouth and chews slowly. “Mmm. Sh’good.”

Mikey snatches up one, closely followed by Donnie and Raph. As soon as his first cookie is finished, he says: “I want cookies like this every time you come round here, Taylor.”

Every time.

“Yeah,” Taylor says slowly. “I…think I can do that.”

Assuming she’s invited, or that they want her here.

Leo steps a little closer to her. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Are you sure? The second half’s going to start in a few minutes.”

“I don’t mind missing a bit.”

As they move towards the room marked with the DO NOT ENTER sign, unease starts to creep up on Taylor. Leo’s on edge about something.

When did she become so paranoid?

As always, Leo’s room looks immaculate: bed properly made, swords arranged neatly on the wall, and he’s still looking after his bonsai trees. There’s no door, so Taylor’s not sure how much Leo’s brothers actually respect the DO NOT ENTER sign.

Leo sits down; the mattress creaks a little under his weight. Taylor sits beside him and asks: “What did you want to talk to me about?”

Leo remains quiet at first. He doesn’t look at her. His eyes are thoughtful and a little sad too.

“Do you remember what I said that night I brought you here?” he eventually asks.

Taylor remembers exactly what he said, but she’s not sure what part he’s referring to. The only thing that would be relevant is: “Was it the part where you said I’d be welcome if I did decide to stay, but you’d never hurt me no matter what I chose?”

“I meant it. I want you to know that.”

“I know you did.” Why is he saying this now?

Then she realises why, and presses her lips together. Why didn’t she speak to Splinter a little quieter?

“What I said still stands,” says Leo. His voice is quiet. “If you want to leave, you can.”

For one horrible moment, Taylor can’t breathe. Is this a polite way of saying they don’t want her here, or is she just imagining it?

She was wondering if she was just being tolerated, but now the thought of that is like a kick in the gut.

If you're reading this, I'm tagging YOU.