Ngl as a system I do nooooooot feel safe in any space that says it is only for a specific gender or says folks with specific genders aren't allowed.
Like firstly that is requiring me to know exactly who and what I am at all times so that I don't "invade" the space, which is difficult to impossible because I get blurry, I dissociate, I experience identity confusion, or I literally just guess wrong sometimes.
And then it's a question of cooties. Am I disallowed if I have any alters of an unacceptable gender? If over half of my alters are of an unacceptable gender? If they're bleeding over into me? If they're co-conscious as I front? If we're co-fronting? How much presence is too much presence β how much of the reality of being plural is too much?
And then even if I'm allowed to some degree I have to out myself as a system or lie, lie, lie, because if I switch to someone of an unacceptable gender I've got to leave lest I break the core rule of being there (and haha even supposedly progressive and accepting people get maaaaad at you for "invading" a space "not meant for you"), perhaps in the middle of a conversation, and people tend to want explanations about that.
Or. You know. They could always just erase those of us that complicate their neat little acceptable/unacceptable binary, misgendering those alters based on the fact that other alters have different (acceptable) genders. That's another hurtful option they could take.
"x folks can't be in y space" is soooo ridiculous to me because if you're a system with both x and y alters, the best you're gonna get is x being far away from the front when y is hanging out there. Like I just do not feel safe in any space that might suddenly turn on me and tell me to gtfo just for switching (something I cannot always control). We are a package deal, and any exclusionism acting like everyone's identities are neat and tidy and thus everyone can be directed to specific, "appropriate" spaces is going to hurt systems β even systems whose members are all of a specific, acceptable gender, because 1) more folks = more chance someone discovers they have some complicated gender stuff going on, and 2) they could always end up gaining a new member with an "unacceptable" gender for that space, as such see point number two.
This is probably messy because I'm really out of it but this is something We've been thinking about for a while. "X gendered folks shouldn't be in Y spaces" you have clearly never spoken to or even thought about a system in your liiiiiife and I am exploding you with my mind.