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trying on a metaphor

shark vs the universe

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macklin celebrini has autism
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@litterofbiscuit
im rockruff

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Tattletale about to tell her opponent step by step how to kill themselves
best girl from new delta rooooon
a therapist is just some guy who went to gaslighting school to put undesirables in basically jail. rely on me, creepy knife stalker girl, i can also gaslight you and keep you locked up but unlike a therapist i also love you

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it takes less than ten seconds of critical thinking to realize that kris dreemurr is tma
subtly sneaking AI images into the FOV of my academic rivals in order to irreversibly reduce their IQ by 10 points
tending to my pet anarchists. going into their solarpunk themed enclosure and spreading packaged medicine around in bushes for them to naturally gather. refilling their stock of grain discreetly so they think it all comes from their garden sized wheat field. I spot one and she hisses at me and calls me an authoritarian tankie but i make cooing noises and offer zines as treats and she lets me pet her
FML!! mama was hiding a zombie bite
beauty addicts are always like "can we stop by that river for a time? I haven't been before" but they have. it's a semantics issue.

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Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round
Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)
Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)
Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)
Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt
“And if you’ll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, I’ll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A year’s supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!” Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.
The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.
Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.
He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.
“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”
The crowd murmured with embarrassment.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.
“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.
“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”
Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”
--
Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.
“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”
Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.
“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”
THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.
“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.
Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.
“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”
Laios and Marcille held their breath.
“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”
Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.
Everyone turned to him.
Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.
“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.
“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.
--
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.
Speaking from experience, sex can just be this for a while, clothes and all
hip slam is common play behavior
piper
piper

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In a zombie type situation I would go get all the guns and bullets from the police station and then go to the construction store and use all the supplies to fortify a shopping mall and then! I would like make some gambling tables and like grow some food on the roofs or in the car park or smth
rly like cus whennu think abt it is like. well the world hasnt ended has it its just gotten a lot shittier. so once u have survival sorted u need to think abt improving the world. and what do ppl miss abt the old world? cus some things ppl don't miss right like nukes and stuff. but ppl miss gambling and cigarettes and stuff. so we wld create a secure locaction to place a gambling table and grow some cigarette animal
Yeen Fact #798: Four-Toe Footprint
Yeen Fact #798: "Spotted hyenas leave a track that's easy to spot: four blunt-clawed toes and a wide, triangular heel pad, with the claw marks always showing. The front paw print is larger to carry that big head around, while the rear print is a bit smaller and neater." This has been another fun Hyena Fact.