heya!

@zoethesportsblog

Middle Earth doesn't even have plate tectonics. All the mountains were placed there by the Ainur or some shit. The shape of Mordor isn't "unrealistic" the world was intelligently designed by Catholic elf gods.

I feel like part of it might be casual people are generally aware of the existence of crochet and knitting, even if they don’t know very much about either, but have never heard of nalbinding

I've been wanting to do so, I cannot find anyone who can teach me, and any books I can find on it are Ass in the Visual Learning department. Otherwise I'd be making the hell outta some nalbinded fabric

I thought this would be kind of a niche post to make but I was quickly reminded that I’m on tumblr, the website full of gay people with one billion hobbies.

like 2 months ago i saw a single lobster in the grocery store tank that'd somehow lost a rubber band and every other lobster was huddled in the opposite corner of the tank in a big lobster pile (presumably because the freed lobster was an asshole about having a free claw) like. im done with crab in a bucket mentality. You're not even trying to pull everyone else down to get out and climb up yourself, you're just being a dick. Unshackled lobster in a tank mentality

In retrospect. this is fucking hilarious

level 1 my beloved.....

are you “adaptable” or are you just willing to subject yourself to existing in low key background-level ambient misery

these are different things btw. actual adaptability means not dealing with being miserable long term. and being constantly mildly annoyed/frustrated with a situation but being “able to deal with it” counts as ambient misery. btw.

let this be your sign to make your life just a little more livable. get a dollar store trash can for your bedside so Cup City’s invasion plans fall through. block a tag or post that makes you grind your teeth every time you see it. get some grip pads so your bed stops sliding across the hardwood a little bit every time you get in it. tell that person you need a little more support. if you get annoyed at a situation more than a couple times, change it. don’t be content with being miserable.

and the more that you start doing this, the better you will get at detecting your own feelings and advocating for yourself! This is an important start to being more of a person in the world if you struggle with that

i do think a lot of implausible medieval plot devices make more sense when considering the fact that these people simply did not have glasses

like the king arthur problem of how were these people always accidentally sleeping with the wrong person? well 1) no glasses 2) no lights and candles are so expensive 3) royal couples didn’t even sleep in the same bed a lot of the time anyway 4) arranged marriage how much do you really know your spouse anyway? maybe not very well a lot of the time 5) people are drinking a lot idk. maybe not as absurd as one might think

this post is brought to you by the one time i woke up at a sleepover and realized that without my glasses i could not distinguish one friend from the other. haunting. all of arthurian literature was unlocked to me at that moment

i95 perfec t place for european to c\ross! cars very Soft and Slow european cross easily put european on 95. Put football fan On 95. no problems ever on i95 because good Crosswalks and Stoplights for european walk to met life stadium for european pedestrian culture. i95 yes a place for a european put european on 95 can trust new jersey for giveing good love to european. friend i95

I feel like a lot of people engaging in torture are not treating their victims as if they could have blood borne pathogens 🤔

Is what my wife said apropo of nothing as we were silently drifting off to sleep

I love these so much.

crazy how i find myself thinking i've got a handle on it all finally and then i see the ways that other people tangle their lives together so easily and live so easily together with their friends and i feel like that girl at the top of the stairs painting by norman rockwell

Nothing has done quite so much damage to my internal vocabulary as the construction #MyNoun. I don't remember if it was from that "tour of my jar, this is my twig #MyTwig" or if it was from "inappropriate attachment to objects, my tuube #MyTuube" but either way it was one of you fuckers on here. I do it every time there's my noun #MyNoun