And speaking of being black in majority-white spaces, here's something else I've learned first from my black family and then from direct experience:
I absolutely understand if you don't have the energy or ability to put yourself at risk and open yourself up to being the first [marginalized delographic] to do something or the only one to exist in a [empowered demopraphic] space, but also.
Sometimes that person does have to be you. Sometimes you have to do it for those who come after you. Sometimes you have to do it if you want that space to change.
A friend of mine has a husband who attends a country club. Formerly mostly populated by truly ancient racist ass white men as a Good Ol Boys Club, except... my friend's husband is not racist and does not like this behavior, but does like the perks of the country club. So he got his friends of color into the club, and is slowly taking over the club dynamic and politics with his significantly more diverse friend group. And the guys he brought in are A: very pleasant people and B: becoming official members and then bringing *their* friends in, and slowly they're pushing out the racist assholes that dominated the club not even a few years ago. Soon it will be a country club where the average color is mine and not that of milk.
Dobermans are an incredibly white, right-wing, racist- and nazi-dominated breed. It is a serious problem and a major reason that I am very incredibly choosey about my doberman contacts. I joke all the time that Fenris' breeder is amassing a black doberman owner army to chase out all of the white racists, and a queer doberman army to chase away the homophobes and transphobes, and it's only like. Half of a joke. Because the more of us that she collects and are making waves on the breed, the more others behind us will know that if nothing else we'll keep them safe from Those Jerks. There was a woman in a hijab at the last UDC event I went to- 10 years ago I genuinely don't think she would have lasted more than an hour or two without someone making it very clear that she was not welcome. I certainly had people open their mouths to say something and then my more experienced, more accomplished friends would stare and wait and the offender in question would shut their mouth and walk away.
If you're unhappy with the social or political climate of a community space you want to occupy, sometimes you do have to occupy it anyway and collect people who are like minded until you have a collective to start changing minds. And it sucks but like. Those are your options. Occupy the space anyway and make waves by refusing to budge, make your own space, or avoid it forever and miss out on something you wanted to do.
