this is a sparkling water hate blog!

I can’t Stop ducking kaughifnbdhdhdhdhdhsBHhshshd

friendly reminder that if youre mean to tigger i WILL pull your whole spine out of you

Flat Bigfoot Theory: They’ve never caught him on camera because he turns 90 degrees and becomes too thin to see. 

Flat Earth Theory is OUT, Flat Bigfoot Theory is IN

This is the THE hottest take I’ve ever heard

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser

Stop teaching children that there is only one person out there meant for them. Let it be easier for people to let their toxic relationships go without fear of losing “The One”.

Its so fucked up and weird that we don’t tell people that there will be multiple important people in their lives

sex in the shower? no. slip and bust my ass. break my dick. she slippin too. she knock her head on the tile she passed out. bleedin. i cant walk cause my jimmy snapped. thought this was gonna be sexy and we both end up half dead.

this is my favorite post of all times every single time I slip on anything I picture this post it literally changed my life there’s no other definition to it