no one likes beer

Wait. How are peoples with siblings greeting eachother then?

“Who are you?”

*Hey ‘name of sibling’* *Get out of my room*

“Hey nerd” “What do you want”

That last one!!!

I greet my brother with “sup homeboy” and he consistently replies with “shut up”.

The ides of March is coming up what’s everyone getting me?

i never understood how we’ve reinvented heiroglyphics until now

My favorite thing about being an archer in Skyrim is when the slow motion kill cam follows the arrow and you get to sit back and watch as it just absolutely misses the target.  

God, I fucking LOVE the color of the sky

This shit has me so weak

This chumby boy is so fast!!!! An athlete!!!!

this image actually makes complete sense & that is a fucking trip & a half.

You can take it back even further to the Archudke’s assassin just bumping into him deciding to get a sandwich. One man’s need for lunch 100 years ago gave rise to tentacle porn half the world away. What a world.

Butterfly effect

The lord giveth and the lord taketh it back now y’all. Two hops this time.

every single one of these fits the rhythm of the song. i sang each one of them. :D my mom’s addition was always “hit him in the face with a vick’s inhaler”

I don’t know why this is so funny, but it is. Sing it. Go on. I’ll wait. 

EAR-LAY IN THA MOOORNIN’!

@whitemongoose look

thor has something for everybody…if you are attracted to men he is perfect boyfriend material. if you are not he is just a big nice man who respects women & smiles a lot. he lifts weights all day to get good at hugging

i wrote the second part totally forgetting about straight men uhhh he has muscles and he probably knows about sports. whatever yall are into

hypothesis: the salt & pepper diner experiment can no longer be conducted as it stands, because everyone is now fully attuned to the opening bars of tom jones’ “what’s new pussycat?”, classically conditioned into a fight-or-flight response. however, this experience can be replicated using 21 back-to-back plays of lou bega’s 1999 hit song “mambo no. 5″, as the general response to “mambo no. 5″ being played twice in a row is not, “hey someone’s playing “mambo no. 5″ again,” but rather, “hey, lou bega’s 1999 hit song “mambo no. 5″ is a lot longer than i first thought.”

So what’s the “It’s Not Unusual” in this situation

Livin’ la Vida Loca

🙀😻😽💕💕💕💕💕💕

pls no i hate suits-

If they cheat the system then they earned it.

Crows reduce the rates of lung cancer by aggressively nabbing cigarettes, news at 11.

fuck it let’s just have public health policy via crows