of the fire

“Well, I wouldn’t mind but maybe I could ask you questions, that way you wouldn’t fully feel as if you were ignoring me.” An offering that she would rarely make to others. She wonders if he’d just freeze up if it genuinely made him nervous to be coding without entertaining her in the process. At his following words, she merely nods and smiles. It’s still hard for her to fully take in help from other people, there’s a stubbornness in her that she thinks is never going to leave. Nor does she wish for it to, not at the moment. Eloise will gladly take Oliver’s help, however. “That sounds nice. It sounds.....peaceful.”  An emotion that’s foreign to her altogether. For a moment, she watches him curiously, wondering if he’s always been this way or if there are things about him that she doesn’t notice. He seems put-together; if a bit anxious, and always seems to have a kind word to say to other people, to her, even when she doesn’t offer all that much kindness in return. At least, she’s trying to redeem that a bit now, or she thinks that’s what she’s doing. “I haven’t, no.” Bites down on her bottom lip, cheeks flushing because she’s a bit embarrassed to admit the next part. “I’m afraid they’d think differently of me, I guess, if I.....I don’t know if I’m not as brave or whatever as I might seem.” There are a thousand walls that Eloise has built up around herself at the fault of the people who claimed to be her parents and even the mere idea of letting someone see through any of them terrifies her. Maybe inside she’s always going to be the little girl fearing a God that didn’t even exist, that he’d somehow come down and condemn her for having her power. Her power still doesn’t feel like something that should be celebrated and that’s precisely the reason why she isn’t able to put her heart into practicing. Some dark corner of her mind still thinks that if she were able to master it, she wouldn’t use it for good. She wouldn’t be a good person, let alone a hero to anyone. She looks up at him through her lashes, wondering if he’s ever going to stop seeming like everything that she’s not. “Do you think.....can I ask you something kind of strange?” 

“Well, you can just pretend I’m not there. I’m very good at being quiet.” Because for the most part she rarely speaks to anyone as it is. A couple of her siblings and Oliver are the exception. Some people believe it’s because she thinks she’s somehow above them but really it’s because she’s a nervous wreck most of that time and that tends to project aggression rather than shyness. Nevertheless, she wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable in his own space, not on purpose. “I wouldn’t want to impose on your coding and then have you help me study.” Despite herself, Eloise is hoping he’ll object to her rejecting his help. Partially because she could use the tutoring and the other reason, well, she won’t allow herself to think about that. She listens intently to his story, there’s nothing in it that she finds embarrassing, it’s most endearing and very Oliver in a way. “Your power protects you or at the very least makes you feel protected. It’s nice.” That’s something she would like to be able to do. Eloise doesn’t hate her power nor does she ever wish that it wasn’t hers to carry but she wishes it wasn’t something that people immediately feared or that was incredibly difficult to control. Particularly with the temper that she tended to carry, there was always a subtle fear that she’d end up hurting someone instead. How could she be helpful if she found it so hard to figure out what she was doing? “Yeah, you’re right.” She says the words passively as if it embarrasses her to direct them towards anyone out loud. “I should focus more on practicing.” 

“So...like, something you’d have to show me?” Her voice is soft, the slight hesitance clear though whether it comes from the mild embarrassment at not understanding something or at the fact that it’s him is unclear to her. “I am never prepared for classes to start, I’d rather have another less threatening party happen soon.” Eloise shrugs, she figures Oliver was into his classes. “Yeah, turns out trying to control fire and study for exams doesn’t mesh well.” As if that’s an excuse for how little she cares about being there. 

“Uh, no...” Narrows her eyes slightly as if that’ll make it more believable. To be honest,  she just wouldn’t put it past him to be able to. “Oliver the coder.” She muses. “Can’t you see I’m hanging on the edge of my seat? Please, go on.” Despite all the ways in which she might find enjoyment picking on people at nemean, she wouldn’t pointedly make fun of anyone’s choice of interest. That was too personal. 

“Hey, Armstrong.” Eloise casually catches up to him, matching his step. He’s one of the few people here that she tolerates, maybe enjoys, and like the only one not related to her. “What are you up to today besides healing mother nature or whatever?”

Realistically, all it’d have to take was that he asked her. “You have to help me practice setting shit on fire.” She’s joking. “.....or you can buy me a coffee, whichever.” 

“It might’ve been.” Eloise is quick to reply, not necessarily for any reason other than she liked the other girl’s response. “I thought you had.” She shrugs. “Maybe you’re going for third time’s the charm hoping I’ll say yes.” 

She doesn’t think about her sister not returning her embrace, the two of them have never been much about that, so whether she wants a hug or not is entirely up to her. “I know but.....maybe I could’ve actually helped.” Eloise sighs knowing there was realistically no way that she could have helped but she’ll still kick herself about it for a while. “No, no. I came to look for you.” There was pretty much no one else on her mind as soon as everything had happened. 

@nlupdates​ / “Isn’t this, like, the second time you’ve asked me to dance?” Eloise tries her best to contain the eyeroll that threatens to come. She’s trying to be nicer or whatever. “Are you very persistent or do you have memory issues?”

All she could manage to do was look at her sister as she spoke, trying to get the words to make sense while at the same time taking in the calm she felt just at seeing that Alphonsine was, at the very least, physically alright. “Bleu?” The name of the robot comes out in a soft whisper. Eloise wishes in that moment she could’ve been closer when it all started happening, would’ve done anything to protect the girl standing before her. “Oh god.” At this, she finally embraces the other, not caring to be sharing such a tender moment in front of the entire school. Her sister is alive and that’s all that matters to her. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve been here.” 

“I couldn’t.....I couldn’t find you.” She is trying her best not to show the absolute breakdown she’s just had though the tears have made her mascara run and her hair is all over the place. Not to mention the clear shakiness in her voice. “I just couldn’t see you.” Though she doesn’t automatically wrap her arms around the other girl she does stand closer to her, her hands still shaking from everything that’s just happened and the fear of where Alphonsine was during all of it. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”