may your nights always be bright with stars

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggeratedly at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."

No creature on this earth has ever been hungrier than a teen chickadee being taught how to forage and following one of their parents around BEGGING BEGGING BEGGING to be fed

hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice

love that the FDA is the Food and Drug Administration. FOOD and DRUG. two very separate things lumped together in the same department. because yeah you get headlines like "FDA Busts Heroin Smuggling Ring" but also, crucially: "FDA Raid Seizes 1000 Gallons Of Contraband Raw Milk"

this is SO embarrassing i mixed up the FDA and DEA. the FDA doesn't seize heroin it seizes $86 million in vape products (and unpasteurized milk)

“what are you gonna do, cry about it?” yes . the fuck

since there is such an "english speakers who don't even try to pronounce a foreign mame correctly" epidemic, native english speakers often try to overcorrect and end up thinking they have a moral imperative to pronounce every foreign name correctly at all times. so i'm gonna hold your hand and look into your eyss as i say this: you can't. you can't pronounce every sound in a language you don't speak. and that's fine. it happens to the rest of us too. we won't be mad so long as you try your best.