HIS PAST- MICHAEL K.
kaiser rubs all his anger on you due to his past âĄ.
KAISER always been a brilliant on the field, untouchable in his stride, but behind closed doors, he was a storm barely held together. you knew he had a past, one he rarely spoke about, but you never expected to become the outlet for pain that wasnât yours. every slammed door, every cold shoulder, every insult that tasted like resentment. all of it chipped away at the person you once fell in love with. his anger didnât come in explosions, it came in waves. sharp, unpredictable, and exhausting. when he looked at you during arguments, it felt like he wasnât seeing you, but someone else entirely... someone he hated. you wanted to reach out, to soften him, but every time you tried, he pulled further back, until silence was safer than truth. and still, he remained obsessed with winning, with perfection, as if that would finally fix the boy who was never loved right.
you tried to be patient, tried to understand where it all came from. his childhood was a landmine of broken glass, an alcoholic father who never needed a reason to beat him, a mother who vanished before he even learned how to pronounce her name. no matter what he did as a kid, no matter how many wallets he stole or grades he manipulated... nothing stopped the bruises or the screams. and so kaiser learned to survive by becoming untouchable, unbeatable. Love, to him, was a dangerous thing, too soft, too fragile, too close. he didnât know how to hold you gently without remembering the hands that hurt him, and when life pressed down on him too hard, when he lost a game, when pressure mounted... it was you. he snapped at. because deep down, he didnât believe he deserved your love, and hurting you made that belief feel justified.
âYou think I care about this?â heâd hiss, eyes sharp as steel after another match where he didnât score as he shouldâve. âYou think you matter when Iâve got the entire world to crush beneath my boot?â It wasnât really about you, never was. but the words hit their mark. he wouldnât look at you, jaw clenched, voice biting. all youâd done was ask if he was okay, if he needed anything. but love, to kaiser, often felt like a trap. and when his anger flared, all the walls he built to protect himself crumbled, and he lashed out, using you as a shield against the pain he never processed.
at night, heâd lay beside you without a word, his back turned, his body tense. sometimes heâd whisper apologies in his sleep, his voice so broken it made your chest ache. but in the daylight, you missed the version of him who smiled, not the one on posters, but the one who kissed you softly before games. now, his kisses were quick, routine, an afterthought. the warmth he used to give now flickered like a dying light. and still, you stayed, wondering if the boy beneath all that fire still wanted to be loved.
he rarely spoke of his father, but when he did, his voice went hollow. âNothing I did was ever enough,â he once said, his knuckles white against the glass in his hand. âhe beat me just for existing. and she... she left me with him like I was some fucking problem she didnât want.â that night, he drank more than usual, and when you tried to take the bottle away, he flinchedâthen shouted. not because of the drink, but because your touch startled him, reminded him of a time when touch meant pain. he apologized an hour later, his voice raw, but the damage lingered in the space between you. and still, he wouldnât let go of the anger, it was the only thing heâd ever had control over.
you became good at reading the signs. when to speak, when to stay quiet, when to step away. but it wore you down, chipped away at your confidence. you began to ask yourself if love was supposed to feel like this. tight-chested, cautious, desperate for scraps of affection. you missed the feeling of being chosen, not just kept. kaiser noticed, in moments of clarity, how far you were drifting. but he didnât know how to pull you back without first tearing down every wall heâd ever built. and to do that, heâd have to face the very thing heâd buried his whole life.. his past.
And yetâŚthere were nights when you saw glimpses of the man he could be. his arms around you after nightmares, trembling hands gripping your shirt as if afraid youâd disappear. âDonât leave me,â heâd whisper into your hair, voice cracking with fear. and in those moments, you understood, he wasnât angry at you, but terrified youâd leave like everyone else had. his past had taught him that love was conditional, that softness was dangerous, and so he struck first. you held him through those storms, even when you were the one drenched. but love, real love, was patient...and you hadnât given up.
The argument started like all the others, sharp words flung like daggers over nothing. a misplaced comment. a tired sigh. a look he misread as disappointment. but tonight was different. tonight, something inside him cracked. âyouâre always looking at me like Iâm about to break,â he snapped, pacing the living room like an animal, hands running through his golden hair in frustration. âlike Iâm some project youâre trying to fix.. newsflash, Iâm not broken. Iâm just like this. I have to be like this. If Iâm not, I lose everything that makes me⌠me.â
You tried to stay calm, but your voice wavered. âI donât think youâre broken, michael. I think youâre hurting, and you wonât let me help.â That only made him angrier. His eyes burned, not with rage this time, but with panic. âno. no, donât start with that âhelpâ shit,â he snapped, voice loud, but not cruel... desperate. âyou donât get it. no one fucking helped me when I needed it. you know what I got? a fist to the face. a bottle thrown across the room. silence. and if I cried? If I showed I needed anything? that just gave him more of a reason to beat the shit out of me. so I learned to shut up. I learned to win. thatâs all that ever mattered.â
He finally stopped pacing, standing in front of you, breathing hard, eyes wild. âyou think I donât want to be better for you? you think I donât hear myself when Iâm yelling and wish I could stop? you think I like seeing you flinch when I raise my voice? but I donât know how to stop. no one ever taught me. I grew up thinking pain meant someone saw you. that anger was safer than sadness. that silence was better than being left behind. and now youâre here... trying to love me! and I donât know what the fuck to do with that.â His voice cracked, and he turned away, fists clenched at his sides. âIâm not good at this. Iâm not good at being soft.â
You stood, slowly walking over to him, reaching out... but not touching, not yet. âthen talk to me, kaiser. not like Iâm your enemy. not like Iâm someone else from your past. talk to me. your wife. the person who stays. even when you push. even when you hurt.â that word made him flinch. Hurt. because deep down, he knew. and that was when it hit him, harder than any blow his father ever gave, that he was doing the very thing he swore heâd never become.
His voice dropped low, thick with something between shame and grief. âI hate him so fucking much,â he whispered. âI hated the way he smelled like whiskey and failure. I hated the sound of his footsteps because it meant something was coming... something bad. I hated how he blamed me for her leaving, how he said I ruined everything just by being born. and I hate that no matter how far I run, he still finds a way into my head.â He laughed bitterly. âdo you know what that does to a kid? knowing he was never wanted? knowing his own parents left scars that still bleed even when no oneâs touching them?â
Tears filled his eyes, but he didnât wipe them. he just stared at you, face broken wide open, no longer the emperor... just a boy who wanted to be loved but didnât know how to accept it. âI donât know how to love you without hurting you,â he said, voice hoarse. âbut I want to. I want to try. Iâm just⌠so fucking scared. That if I let go of all this anger, I wonât have anything left. that youâll see the real me. the scared, abandoned little boy I buried years ago... and youâll leave too.â His breathing hitched, eyes glassy. âand I wouldnât survive that. not you. anyone else, fine. but not you.â
You stepped closer, cupped his face gently, thumbs brushing against his cheeks. âI see that boy already,â you whispered. âand Iâm still here.â He didnât move, didnât speak, but his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him like he was afraid you might vanish. his body trembled. his forehead rested against your shoulder. For the first time in years, Michael Kaiser let himself cry. not in secret. not out of sight. but in your arms. shaking, gasping, holding onto you like you were the only thing keeping him grounded.
He spoke again... soft, nearly broken. âIâm sorry,â he murmured. âfor all of it. for turning you into a punching bag for pain you didnât cause. for yelling. for pushing. for making you feel like love had to come with bruises. I didnât know how else to survive. but I want to learn. please⌠donât give up on me.â the words spilled out of him like a confession. and in that moment, you didnât need him to be perfect you just needed him to be realâand finally, he was.















