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me: great!

scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.

me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though

scam caller: what?

me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?

scam caller:

me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?

scam caller:

me: I was just wondering, is all

scam caller: why did you answer?

me:

me: what?

scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?

me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.

scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.

me: well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal

scam caller: my goal?

me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You’re not accomplishing that. I’d call that an expense.

scam caller: well, can I scam you?

me:

me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?

scam caller: yes. can I scam you?

me, baffled: sure, you can try

scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer

me: yeah, that’s still a problem. I’m eating tater tots right now and I really don’t feel like getting up.

scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then.

me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won’t.

scam caller: You answered today.

me: …touché?

Macbeth:

yes

however we recently got her a new ceramic fountain that better suits her aesthetic

and her own fainting couch

but she still prefers a good lap whenever possible

Tumblr deleted my long ass rant while I was in the middle of writing it so you're spared and will only get a summed up version

Long story short; your abs are supposed to be covered with a healthy, protective layer of fat. The shape Jason Momoa is in during his movies is achieved by a diet designed to lower his body fat to unhealthy numbers, dehydrating him and enhancing his abs with make up. This is what ripped, muscular, healthy person looks like on their off time. If you think this is a dad bod, for the love of everything that is holy, shut up and absolutely never comment on a man's body ever again. I mean hell, you can still see his damn v-line, what fucking dad bod has that?!

Don't believe me? Google some bodybuilders who are off their contest diet. The men who literally make a living for having defined muscles. For 360 days a year, they do not look like the way you think they do. During a bodybuilding contest, these men's body fat is under 7%, they're dehydeated and covered in fake tan that helps the muscles show up. And it's literally only for that day, because it's extremely unhealthy. Same goes for actors who are known for being ripped - they're at their worst when they're filming. This exact same shit happened with Vin Diesel few years ago with people getting a paparazzi shot of his "beer belly" and I'm genuinely worried of the young men who grow up in this society thinking being muscular means having defined abs 24/7.

hamilton icons

killing stalking icons

hetalia icons

camp camp icons

osomatsu san and humanized bill cipher icons are on thin ice and most of them you end up blocking

steven universe icons especially if the character is jasper or the user is white

icons drawn by elentori

shiro vld icons keep at a distance, they’ll probably be a shaladin