✷ kalessprout ✷

you read assassin’s apprentice and you’re like oh this wit thing is kind of a metaphor for queerness, cool, i can have fun playing with the implications of that. and then you keep reading the series and you realize that it doesn’t stop at “metaphor” they are actually gay and internalizedly homophobic about it

if you didn't cry at baby molly's "i didn't have enough money to pay for the man to tell my fortune, but the fishwife said she didn't need a fortune teller to know my future: i was the daughter of a drunk, i'd be the wife of a drunk, and i'd be the mother of drunks" you lose ten mutualpoints. everyone get more mollypilled right now.

Reading books where characters solve their interpersonal conflicts in a few chapters makes me tear my hair out. Where are my glorious Fitzchivalry and his insistence on chewing on his and everybody else's wounds for 60 continuous years

When you want to wallow but Robin Hobb wrote "You should leave off sniffing the carcass of your old life, my brother. You may enjoy unending pain. I do not. There is no shame in walking away from bones [...] Nor is there any special wisdom in injuring oneself over and over. What is your loyalty to that pain? To abandon it will not lessen you."

EMBRACE PROFOUND PLATONIC DEVOTION

assassin’s apprentice is crazy fitz is like eight and he’s running around the castle eating dog food and getting drunk his dead gay dad’s alive gay best friend is a functional alcoholic who hates him he has play dates with patience who sits there and says you’re mommy’s special idiot fitz you’re mommy’s special little fucking idiot and then he hangs out with his bastard granduncle (?) who lives in the walls and is doing night assassin school because of a verbal contract fitz made with the king who is also his grandfather that is for some reason legally binding even though fitz was roughly six and hiding under a table at the time and he lives his entire life getting beat to shit by his betters and then having to live in the same castle as them forever and if heeee says anything he’s a trifling little nobody whore. regal tries to murder this fourteen year old and everyone’s like fitz why can’t you just get along with your uncle 🙄 when now he has EPILEPSY and it’s the uncles’ FAULT and he’s staging a COUP and nobody GIVES a shit. and the FOOL is there.