
if i look back, i am lost

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@kaizo-r

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to be clear, I believe younger artists and minors can write good fics (not to say âfanfic must always be goodâ either because it is a hobby and I still believe that as long as itâs done with love and the artistâs joy, it is good) and I believe itâs good when younger artists and minors start making art at young ages.
that said, a lot of fanfics out there that you read and love are done by adults with kids, jobs and responsibilities. adults who have years, decades of practice under their belts. adults who donât let life and responsibilities take away their joy in creating.
someoneâs love and passion donât suddenly go away the second they reach a certain age. so if anything, I feel sorry for people who say âadults shouldnât write fanfics or make fan artâ because what these people really say is that they expect themselves to stop having fun and finding comfort in things that bring them joy and comfort the second they reach a certain age. itâs sad that they put an expiration date on their own fun and source of comfort.
As an adult who has just rebuilt their relationship with writing, I do plan on continuing this for as long as I live...
I didn't write in my earlier teenage years for many reasons but now that I am doing it, I can tell it has nothing to do with being an "adult" and I can still have fun, write random shit and sometimes go for fanfics and crossovers instead of my own story projects or blogs. It's more about the love you put into the work just as writingdose said.
Let's not make adulthood harder than it is. Let's let it be fun so that later we don't end up punishing kids for having fun. Because when you don't let yourself have fun, you can become a bit too sensitive to seeing others have fun...
the hottest things a guy can say to you are "Back in your good graces again? I knew you'd see the light.", "You and I, we're just a couple of problem solvers." & "That's sounding dangerously close to a plan, boss."
I just noticed that I'm shaming myself for not writing anything in about 9 days.
An interesting fact is that at some point in my life, years ago, I shamed myself for wanting to write.
Because writing stories was "not useful" and studying was "useful" or so I was taught by the adults around me.
So, later when I healed my relationship with studying and writing, I thought I was gonna have a writing journey full of self love and nourishment and all fluff and shit like that, you know? It is my passion, it literally takes me to a flow state, it has been my passion for years even though I tried to shame myself for it...
But now I see the old pattern repeating.
Shame...
How lovely.
I guess I still have a long road ahead of me, huh?
The problem wasn't just the fact that I didn't let myself write or that I forced myself to study... the problem was the shaming itself.
Back then, writing was "useless" and studying was "useful".
Now, writing is "useful" and playing out random scenarios in my head is "useless."
This kind of thinking is my problem. This kind of categorizing. It's just going to give my mean brain something to shame me for whenever I'm having fun... because I guess it believes that anything that's fun, can't be productive.
Even though I know very well that that is far from the truth... and I've spent months on changing this mindset with my therapist helping me... though I know changing deep seated beliefs like this might take more than a few months.
Anyway, I know sharing can still be a part of healing for me, so I decided to write this at 3am so that I can sleep. And I hope this can help you feel free to share your own struggles with writing or anything else that you feel like sharing. <3
this and also the only difference between fanfic writers and writers who sell their own original works as careers is that fanfics arenât monetized. thatâs all.
being a âprofessionalâ writer doesnât mean your works are inherently better than fanfics. Iâve read so many fics that are more professionally written than some published books.
whether or not a piece of writing is monetized has nothing to do with its quality.

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Just found out how hard it is for me to write fanfics... respect for fanfic writersđ
I tried writing a little cross-over with Six of Crows characters and my own story characters.
I wrote roughly 600 words in like an hour or so and i was exhausted (but happy).
Normally, I thrive in writing group dynamics and I love heavy-cast scenes in my writings.
Like I've had moments where I'd write for 3 hours, end up with a heavy draft with 8 characters overall and 4 of them are the main focus and all are moving pieces. I was in flow state, I was so happy and energized after that that I didn't know what to do!
But i realized that writing someone else's characters is ten times harder for me. The drafts I wrote had very little moving pieces and details as my usual drafts, but I was so much more drained afterwards...
Though I still think it was a fun experiment. I might even continue the cross-over because I love the Crows and I love a good character-focused cross-over.
â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘~â˘
For fanfic writers (doesn't matter if you write for yourself or others, it counts):
Is it also so hard for you to write someone else's characters or am I just too sensitive to how I write characters?
Some days i really can't focus on anything. And i end up wanting to read and write stories, but then i can't even keep my eyes on it for more than 3 minutes, and i really really need the comfort and dopamine I normally get from stories... anyone else deal with this shit?đ
And I don't have ADHD if you're wondering, I'm just in my PMSđŤ
Some writing advice I will never give up:
Your characters are allowed to be bad people. Your story is allowed to have no moral lesson.yyour ending is allowed to be sad. The villain can win. The good person can do something unforgivable. The lovers can destroy each other. You are allowed to write the thing that no one asked for and everything that everyone told you doesnât work and you are allowed to not explain yourself.
Itâs your story. Burn it down if you want to.
Reblog if you will never. Ever. Use AI in your writing.

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If i ever ran out of ideas, just tell me i have an exam tomorrow. I'll brainstorm the hell out of every little unfinished project and then write 5 drafts without even needing to pause for snack.
Thank you Hwang In-ho and Seong Gi-hun
hot take but I really dislike it when people say that fanfiction is automatically better then the actual official media. Like, if you're making fanfiction of a piece of media, shouldn't you already appreciate and like the initial thing?
respectfully, I disagree.
sometimes canon can be better than fanfiction, sure.
but sometimes fanfiction is way better than canon.
just because fanfics are inspired by the source material and just because fanfics are about characters who belong to the source material does NOT mean fanfics can never be better than canon and the source material.
I have personally read so many brilliant fanfics out there that are SO MUCH BETTER than the source material.
I have personally read so many brilliant fanfics out there and thought to myself that the fanfic writers know and understand the characters better than their canon creators.
you can appreciate the source material if you want, sure. but other people can also say fuck you to that same source material and create their own world for the characters they love.
fanfic is about writersâ love and passion for the characters and the stories/the world that they create for these characters.
fanfic is not about âhereâs my free promo and tribute to the source material because the source material is so amazing you guysâ.
also source material and canon are only suggestions. how much of it a fanfic writer will follow, if any, is entirely up to them.
I love canon divergent fics, I love self-indulgent fics, I love fix-it fics. I love saving my comfort characters from the source material that can be a shit hole.
I may not be a big fanfic reader or writer, but i agree with you here.
I do think that a lot of times a fan might be able to handle characters and story worlds a lot better than the initial creator.
Because the creator may have other purposes like making money, creating something that'll have more seasons, creating something that brings controversy, etc. or maybe they just didnt give the story ideas enough time to cook. Maybe they couldnt focus on the story very well. There are many factors involved in this. The creator of a story is not the god of that story. They just started the idea. They should get credit for starting it, of course, but that doesnt mean they're the only person who understands that story or the characters.
So i think the chance of a fan taking a story from a famous creator and turning it into a better story aren't so low.
Here's a story draft i wrote a few days ago and felt like sharing.
How does this make you feel at first? Does it feel as strong to you as it does to me?
Hey there.
Dude do you know how much you helped me with character design for my stories? A LOT. Your posts literally fueled the enthusiasm i had for character work and now a year later im here working on a fantasy story with 30-40 characters. Wish me luckâ¤ď¸â¨ď¸
By the way, what would Six (and his pals, Arcade, Boone, the more the marrier) do if he got on a pirate ship?
Omg thats awesome!! I'm really happy to hear that! And honestly hope you keep writing and drawing and creating. So yes, wishing you 10,000 years of the BEST LUCK and passion to create and make art đ
As for your scenario - I don't think he'd know what the hell a pirate or a ship (or an ocean) even is đ
I'm gonna cryđ
Thank you very much for answeringđâ¤ď¸

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A little snippet from a story im working on. Kai, a 10-year-old menace (she/her) + former cop James.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kai sat in the car, trying to spin the baton in her hand. It fell on her lap once. Twice. The third time it spun in a crooked circle. A tiny smirk bloomed on her lips; and she tried again.
The driver door opened and James slid behind the wheel.
Kai barked a short âhehâ and leaned in, smacking Jamesâ belly with the baton. âChubby.â
since i'm currently in love with the world of fallout new vegas decided to make a wallpaper moodboard for myself. hope you guys can enjoy it too.