blue eyes

the cici's pizza mr pibb hits different

could you make up some more words please :)

wawa gobbler

belly laughing while sloshing my chalice around in my many ringed hand

I wish I had a car bomb. I wish I was like 9 so I had balls. Läl. Her boyfriends tall and he plays Madden ‘06 so how am I gonna cum. So when I asked her out she said I was put in the hospital for type 5 diabetes. I wish I was a little.

Party cock is in the mouth tonight

A dark, foreboding feeling overtakes you. You know this face, even in its absence.

beating the fuck out my husband because I can’t remember my Etsy password

screaming and throwing up on it

I wanna kiss you in places you’re insecure about

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She giving me pyramid head so good i go silent.

hill

People who fuck around on their laptops during lectures are so important I'm watching someone in front of me play tetris online enraptured

I’ll never forget the girl who was shopping for dildos mid lecture. She picked the one I wanted too

You can’t just leave this in the tags 🤣 @capacity2

I didn’t though….. it’s on the post u can see it right there I typed it onto the post

Does anyone want me

sorry bro I didn't hear your bit I got a little distracted reflecting upon my inadequacies

i said bawk tuah. like if she was a chicken

puts my elbows out like wings

oh yeah. that's pretty funny. sorry im just thinking about other shit

cluck on that thangg

i spot a plus size honey across the bar and start to chat her up until her bisexual boyfriend with a magic the gathering tattoo comes over and starts yelling at me so i turn him sideways so he can't make another action until his next turn