bite

ive hardly spoken to him in days and maybe that makes me bad but i dont. i dont wanna force myself to engage in this conversation. i think it might just like be about time to call it quits

sorry have i not iterated to him what my plan is or does he just. not listen to me.

call got pushed back to tomorrow but genuinely whatever. i feel like such a fucking bitch but like. i dunno. i really do think i might be done here

is it really bad and shitty if i say i hope he just breaks up with me? i dont wanna be the one to do it but like i dont. idk i dont know that im built for this relationship anymore

fuck this sucks this sucks so fucking bad. i dont know what im gonna do without her

im also kinda upset that hes reacting like this when ive got so much going on. like im being selfish and i know that, but one of my best friends is leaving tomorrow. this is my last full day with her. then shes gone for fucking ever. im never living with her again. i had a panic attack in the middle of thr night over my dad. im having a bad fucking time and somehow this is my fault??? that he feels upset about someone havkng feelings for me?????? be for fucking real right nkw

like i dont know what i did wrong here. im not gonna tell u someone elses feelings, but i wasnt keeping anything a secret. jay told u like 2 days after they got home. telling u when they were here wouldve put pressure on u. so we waited. and then u act like we were keeping it some big secret instead of figuring things out. we didnt act on anything, we kissed and they said that one day theyd like to go further than that. i dont see the fucking problem

i literally dont know how this couldve been handled any differently. i assume hes upset because of the feelings, but like ???? dude what do u want me to do

i dontttt wanna comfort him rn tbh aksjsksk

sorry but im still not over him suggesting that he could fly out for asias wedding. like ???? sorry, were u invited??????? u have met her 3 times. sid u have met MAYBE twice. like. u cannot assume u are invited to their WEDDING. and im only invited to their legal wedding bc they need a witness!! thats my role. to be witness. only me and ryan are invited. literally what makes u think that ur not only allowed, but encouraged to show up? man what???

maybeeee its getting close to time. maybe. perhaps

i dont like feeling uncomfortable talking abt him i am such a shit gf dude

ughhhhhh i wanna die rn rightttt now yup right now

PLEASE do not fucking mansplain suicidal ideation to me????? i say i wanna kill myself like every day. cool it.

god i rwally am genuinely fucked up about armstronf. i thought i had a decent shot. i really gebuinely did. i talked to grace TJIS MORNING. i was invited to the building manager meeting. and yet here i fucking am. no email. just "not selected" on fucking workday. fuck.

angela SO clearly does not like me dude. like she is rolling her eyes at me and talking me down and its just so obvious that she wants nothing to do with me. that im just in her way.

oop! looks like i need to kill myself actually!!