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giggling and kicking my feet over leo kissing my cheek before leaving today

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even now he cant talk to me like an adult lmao. okay dude what the fuck EVER

#vagueposting about me #then pussying out when my gf interacts w the post #what did u think woild happen dumbass !!!#jay still thinks of u as a friend #why are u like. being an asshole toward them #and if ur pissed at me because im wanting to fuck someine else #uhhhh sucks! we arent together anymore #itsbeen over a month #ive been dating this person since december #i no longer need ur goddamn permission to be attracted to someone #either have a fucking conversation w me or cut me off like u said u want to #i literally do not fucking care either way #but do nottttt hurt the person still in my life who cares about me #i left so many friends for this motherfucker #i did not do anything to u #u have no fucking right to behave like a child #but i guess thats what u always fucking were #whatever. im just mad at the hypocrisy #pissed for not talking to him when he refused to ever talk to me about anything #and still fucking isnt talking to me #dont be a fucking coward. speak ur goddamn mind

dude i am a bad partner

#i feel so bad

bunny suddenly feel very that she is disliked

#not true but maybe

girl fix whatwver mental illness i got PLEASE

#now i feel so dry and droll and nothingburger #i qant to engage buf i Cant !!!!#what the fuck dude

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i think ive given myself commitment issues also

#why did beig called wife freak me OUT #babe what the hellllll is wrong with u #i dunno i spent SO long looking to the future w someone #i dont wanna do that again #i justt wanna do. here and now #i dont wanna be a wife #not rn #i wanna be girlfriend!#i like being girlfriend #but im. i cant say that #they want a future so badly #i feel lile me saying anything will make this wholw thig crash andnburn #god im sucha bad fuckinf partner tn huh

feel bad not saying anything but fuvk i dont knoww what to say

#its nor even that tjis is bad #i was just pulled so suddenly out of the space that id been in #ao i feel off #i dont feel horny or.playful or needu #i just feel Off #but i feel bad leaving them hugh and dry #but if i do bare minimum then itll be absolutely obvious #so i cna either hardcore lie and hope i get into it again #or i can stop and maybe hurt their feelings

disappeared like 15 mjn ahgo. yeah that seems right.

#maybe i should just try to go to sleep.#dont know that il be successful but u should probably qt least try right?

now i feel tgat theyre upset with me

#godddd i just wanna be good enough #man im so fucking bad at this huh lol #can nwver just have anirmal relationsuip w sex #always gotta spiral about it #i wish i could feel dommy but i just dont i dont #mayne once or twoce i have but uts so hard #i dont want to do it im sorry #i wish i did i wish i enjoyed it #but i want my brain off i want to not think anymore #i want to be an object who doesnt make decisions #thats hwat i want sex to be #im sorry im so sorry #i wanna be a good partner in everyhing #but in this i dont think i can be #fuck

hate crashinf like this. nothjng even hapoened jm just a fucking baby

#just once wanna enjoy being fuzzy #please just knce let me enjoy it #instead of feeljng stupid #qnd like. maipulative?#not right word #almost #idk

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gotta love a bitch who spirals

#feel. bad kinda idk #worried ill neever be able to rlly give them. what yheh want #0fuck whatever whatwver whatever #its fine im fkne

rbs post abt kink communication on nothbloga okay so ill jump

get myself into fuzzy bunny headspace just to work myselfnup everytime but like iiiii am fearingthat his is all for my benefot n not the dyanmic they want rn

#imedoately teary eyed yeah #feel teenytiny #but. s ok #dont need to get off tn #wil stop so they ca be ckmfy #n if they contjnue then we continue n if jot the km ok km ok

im not jealous ive never been jealous in my life what wiuld possinly make me jeapius

brotherrrrr as soon as we get weird and obsessive with it? okay.

#im not even feeling jealous or anything tho #interesting!

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i feel like a skittish prey animal. auughhghhggh

#overwhelmed #hashtag overwhelmed dude

i honestly feel kinda. idk. weird? when im put up on a pedestal. like theres more at stale when i fuck up. like in yc i was lauded for being so nice and understanding and being a mediator, so the second i was anything but perfectly kind i was suddenly the bad guy instead of a complex human being. and i dont wanna be a symbol of kindness, i just wanna be some fucking guy. yknow? i want to be kind but i dont want that to be the only thing people see of me

#i feel so whiny abt it too #like oh nooooo ppl like u and think ur kind?????? how horrible #but i just. i wanna be a full person and not just acts of kindness

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