Self-Soothing skills are mostly physical techniques that use different senses. This is one of the distress tolerance skills. Different things work for different people, but the goal is to use one (or more) of the five senses to give yourself a comfortable experience when you are feeling in distress.
(These are also really great ideas for grounding!)
Here are some examples to try, but don't hesitate to add your own!
Go visit a place you love (a museum, aquarium, maybe the beach, or a trail/view point you love.)
Watch a slideshow of your favourite pictures
Look at an aesthetic collage/board you made
Light a candle and watch the flame flicker and the wax gradually melt.
Find a video you like like a wood stove burning, or maybe rain or snow falling.
Use a stim toy that you enjoy that has an interesting texture (slime, soft things, etc).
Hold a favourite blanket, or maybe a stuffed animal.
Put on your favourite music
Use an auditory stim toy you enjoy (pop tubes, snapperz, etc.)
Listen to your pet snoring
Go to a park and listen to the sounds of children laughing and playing
Have a nice cup of tea, hot chocolate, coffee, etc
Eat one of your favourite snacks
Go grab a favourite drink from somewhere
Light a scented candle and focus on the smell
Use your favourite body spray/perfume
Go for a walk somewhere where you can smell something you enjoy like the ocean, or fresh baking at the bakery
Bake or cook something to smell it in the oven
Set up a new air freshener
We sometimes feel like we don't deserve these comforts, or it's hard for us to self-soothe on our own without someone to help us. You absolutely deserve these comforts, and while it's valid to get help from others, being able to work on self-soothing for ourselves can be really beneficial to us and our relationships. I made a deal with myself that I will try self-soothing first and then reach out for help if needed after I make a solid effort on my own. The comfort that I still have the option to reach out makes me more willing to try to self-soothe on my own.
If possible, make yourself a goal to try a new self-soothing technique a week to try when you aren't in distress to see how it feels! Trying these distress skills when we aren't in distress can be really helpful to us being able to use them in distress. When you are trying them, make sure to try and focus solely on the technique. If you are using a taste technique, focus only on the taste and enjoyment of whatever it is. (Using mindfulness techniques to achieve this can be helpful!)
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