lizzy :)

kevin: ...i, uh, have one

on vday, andrew refuses to show any more affection than normal, but leaves neil little gifts all over the dorm (a hoodie on his desk, breakfast ready on the counter, etc.). they're all perfectly wrapped with the corners tucked in. neil, loml, wants to reciprocate, but has no idea or concept of how gifts are supposed to work. cue andrew finding an orange on his desk, a single unlit cigarette in his pocket, and, finally, a container of ice cream wrapped in a bow that has completely melted all over the inside of his car

kevin [banging his head against the desk in the background bc he knows this is foreplay and he's going to get kicked out of the room soon]:

also me: rereads aftg

cue to people realizing he's talking about a real life human MONTHS later. minds are blown. jaws drop. that one guy who has been flirting with Jean for months immediately returns the top quality dog treats he bought.

andrew minyard rly said "on weekends we wear black" and then bought neil the clothes he needed

neil: yeah but that doesn't answer my question

Neil [with complete and utter confidence]: nice try! andrew told me it was his favorite part

Andrew [eyeing Neil's abs through his shirt]: no.

Neil [covered in exy stickers and coughing up orange glitter]: in my defense, i was also left unsupervised!