frixie

out of all of them? I am of course extremely biased towards Malleus' card story, in which he very proudly shows off to his tsum that he knows how to use this arcane tool the humans call a (each syllable carefully pronounced) "mi-cro-wave", almost drops it in the washing machine, and then throws it a big special party where everyone fights over who gets to dance with Malletsum. I still don't know how exactly they were dancing with a six-inch blob. it's magical.

however, it's hard to top "Jadetsum helps Jade hide a body except the twist is that it was actually setting him up to take the fall". watch out, you little bean, Jade'll get you back someday...

LEONA WOULD LOOK PERFECT IN UR STYLE!!!!!! SUCH A VIBE

✦✦✦ THANK YOU SM!!!!!!!^^

now then. *spins super magical superlative wheel*

✦ 𝐭𝐰/𝐜𝐰 : cannibalism, 'blood' (it's strawberry syrup), self-harm, mutilated body part(s), usage of knife, mentions of blood & organs, swearing/cuss words, yuu/reader called crewel 'papa'

⊰ DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE ⊱

the idea of yuu who wasn't a human nor a mortal, but instead a chemical being with a human appearance. due to their circumstances, their insides which were supposed to be filled with organs and red with hemoglobin got replaced with soft chiffons, tasty whipped cream, and fresh fruits, in order to make them semi-immortal.

yuu never bothered mentioning it to any of their friends, they didn't find the need to. the secret was kept for the past few months a.k.a since the day one they got magically transported into twisted wonderland.

none of their friends noticed it too, they never saw the prefect bleed nor got injured with their own sets of eyes, or the prefect did get hurt but managed to cover it up and healed the wound before they could see it.

this didn't go unnoticed by some of their friends; leona instantly knew they weren't human by their scent but he couldn't pinpoint what or who the prefect was, rook observed them well enough to know they lacked some conditions to be human, jade took notes on how the prefect seemed to be cautious whenever they were near any bodies of water, whilst malleus was curious as to why yuu's presence felt unfamiliar to him unlike any mortals nor immortals he had ever met.

the reveal of the truth was a chaos of absolute accident, one that many would never forget any time soon or ever, genuinely.

it was during one of the potionology lessons, the first period, the first subject you learned in the morning, surely it would go well!

of course it wouldn't, you were with ace trappola, deuce spade, and the almighty grim, out of all people. at least you could dream.

the four of you stood around the table—grim perching on top of one of your shoulders—as you observed the tools and ingredients for today's study. once professor crewel gave the green light, all students including you four immediately got to work.

apparently, one of the steps instructed to cut open some rubber seeds. in order to bisect said tough seeds, you need to use a blade or a hacksaw or any sharp objects for the matter.

the four of you agreed to not let ace do the task, minus ace himself. grim wouldn't be able to grip the blade nor hacksaw properly. deuce already doubted himself before he even began. so, you took matters into your own hands (literally).

the three were watching you cautiously, ready to intervene in case anything happens. their eyes followed your every move; from the way you mark the place you were going to cut, to the way you put the seed down and grabbed the butcher knife (now, where did you get that? that wasn't the knife professor crewel gave you), until you raised your hand high up and slammed down the knife, only to missed the seed and—

...cut your hand off.

...

OH MY SEVENS.

"YOU CUT YOUR HAND OFF—"

"OH WHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHE—"

and deuce were screaming bloody murder as if he were the protagonist of a horror movie, whilst you merely blinked at the consequences of your own action.

the other students stared at the scene in terror; crimson liquid pooled around the stub of your wrist on the wooden table, the blade stuck on the surface from the force meaning it would surely leave a dent and had to be pulled back with enough strength for it to let go, red splotches everywhere including your face, your lab coat, ace's coat, deuce's, grim's, and even the other tools and ingredients on the table.

you heard some retching from behind and you were 1000% sure deuce fainted out of shock. looks like the classroom would be filled with vomit sooner or later.

your other hand shot out to grab your mutilated hand before lifting it up to your lips and casually taking a bite.

"THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" you winced at ace's shouting, trying to rub your ear, only to forget that your hand was gone, and all you did is smearing more 'blood' on the side of your head.

"you want a bite?"

"NO???!!!"

"it's strawberry shortcake."

"...WHAT."

crewel eventually approached them, forcing them to drink a glowing liquid from a vial mid-bite then sighing at the disgusted expression on their face, "you pup are lucky i had a spare with me. DON'T do that again." the stub quickly regenerated into a new hand, you watched in amazement as you started flexing your new hand.

"'kay, papa." your voice was muffled as you continued to chew off your hand, definitely planning on doing it again if these were the reactions you'd be expecting, mentally choosing your next victims.

crewel mumbled something under his breath and with a swift motion of his hand, your table was clean and back like it was minutes ago before the accident. he glanced at deuce's unconscious figure on the floor, and ace who was staring at the mutilated hand of the prefect like it offended him, then at grim who was quivering while clutching the prefect's safe arm like a lifeline as if he could prevent another mutilation with his iron grip.

ace was still staring intently at you—or more like, your hand which you were eating. you paused, looked at your hand, pulled a finger off, and offered it to ace.

"here," famous last words because just as you pressed it against his lips, the redhead fainted next to deuce.

"huh, sad it's not cherry pie," you shrugged, popping the finger into your mouth, relishing at the taste of sweetness overtaking the bitterness of crewel's potion.

"you want one grim?"

"...no..."

"that's a first."

you kept humming happily as you ate the remaining parts. once you finished, you dusted off your hands before dragging the unconscious boys to the infirmary by their collars.

"bye, papa!"

crewel looked like he was on the verge of resigning. he pinched the bridge of his nose then stared at the ceiling with a defeated look on his face, "sevens, you pups will be the death of me."

"...uhh, professor? the potion becomes sentient."

crewel lost count on how many times he sighed that day.

꒰ঌ ⋮ author note : uhh *drops my yuusona lore and runs away* yes, my yuusona is CAKE. i'm planning to post her bio later :)

ʚ edited : the 'it' was supposed to be yuu's hand, but it looked like the ear was the one which was gone. i already fixed it :3

⋆. 𐙚 ˚𝓣eaching Grim a secret handshake because it symbolizes a deep bond from where you're from and the first years finding out, forcing you to teach them your secret handshake to them too.

I like to headcanon that secret handshakes don't exist in twisted wonderland. Greetings in twisted would most likely be a handshake or a dap up at best, but a secret handshake? Nope, never heard of it.

So you would introduce them to it. Mainly Grim after you taught him a secret handshake.

The thought just came up to you on a random morning while getting ready to go on about your day, until your head was like "how about you teach Grim a secret handshake like how you and your best friend used to do" and so you did. You made up a secret handshake on the spot, taught it to Grim, who surprisingly memorizes it fast and now you two do it all the time to greet eachother if one of you are separated, or if you two finish a particularly hard task and succeed.

The first to notice the secret handshake is Ace and Deuce of course; they would notice how your hands seem to do a secret greeting that only Grim knows how to do when you two reunite after being seperated. Ace would get pissy about being left out, and Deuce would stare with jealousy in his eyes as you two do that thing again with your hands. You finally taught them the secret handshake and now they wouldn't stop doing it with eachother or with you and Grim. Finally perfecting a potion in Crewel's class? Secret handshake, passing in Trein's test? Secret handshake, Managing to finish five laps on the track as to Vargas's instructions? Secret handshake as a celebration. You swear they're trying to numb your hands atp.

Another victim to this is Jack. Jack probably got curious to the incessant handshakes that was unfamiliar to him. He doesn't remember people in the twisted wonderland do that, he doesn't remember a handshake that has five steps before ending. Then after multiple instances of doing the handshake in front of him you made him join in on the fun by just doing the handshake with him, no practice, no step by step tutorial, no introduction, you just went up to him after doing the secret handshake to Grim and did it to him too. You are very lucky that he caught on quick and was very quick to learn after seeing it multiple times. I headcanon that he doesn't do it as much but he does still do it, just not as excessive as Ace and Deuce. It's just a way to insure you're friends y'know? Like a confirmation of sorts.

Epel would definitely notice the secret handshake and will definitely demand to do it too. You would have to teach him three times until he could grasp it, but once he does he has an undying grip on it and will do it to y'all to make himself feel 'manly' because does anyone have a secret handshake? Does everyone have a sick greeting as this? No, so that's why he does it to greet you guys, he does it to show off, and he does it to feel smug. He just loves how secretive he is. But he will get used to it so much that he accidentally does it to other people, his ands move too fast for him to comprehend that he did it to Rook and not you guys. You can imagine the horror he felt after realizing it.

Ortho observes the secret handshake with interest and curiosity but will not ingage or ask questions, he thinks that it's personal so he doesn't really ask about it nor ingage unless told to. This will go on until he could practically memorize the handshake. You guys will have to ask him to join or better yet do it to him. He'll be very happy and enthusiastic after being part of it and will show it off to his brother. Be warned though, if he finds out that you could essentially make different kinds of combinations of handshakes he will make difficult and different kinds of handshakes and show it off to you guys. You probably have three more handshakes because of him.

Sebek is last because he's stubborn and doesn't understand human culture all that much. Although after allot of encouragement and persuading for him to join in on the fun but rest assured, after you do he'll very much feel very included and will show it off enthusiastically to Lilia and Malleus, but he will never say that to your face. You will have to engage first though if you want to do the secret handshake with him the first few days because he's quite stubborn. But after a few weeks he'll get more comfortable and will eventually do it in front of others or to greet you guys, however he'll treat it as if it's a secret promise between knights. A little warning though he does get smug and will gloat about it to others in earshot, the whole school will know about it in a few weeks if you don't shut him up about it.

Every single one of them gets very protective of the secret handshake and gatekeeps it hard to other students. If the students make fun of it? They'll get very furious and defend it as if they're life is on the line, if other students try to copy it? They'll make it known to the world that they did it first and they are the superior to secret handshakes and will not shut up about it.

They'll do the secret handshake to you one last time if you go back home, it's shaky, their grip is too tight, and their hands often miss yours. But its theirs and they are proud of it. After you go back, all of them will avoid using it to greet eachother because it reminds them too much of you, but they do it in front of the mirror to not forget about it. Rest assured though, after a few months they'll do it again to eachother, but this time it's much more sentimental, and too heavy to be considered normal.

"Ah tunnels they remind me of the catacombs in Paris."

"Oh catacombs how interesting! Is there a specific area for them in your world?"

"Nah man they're all beneath the entire city streets."

"........What-"

Or shit like-

"Ya know there's certain areas in America that people avoid."

"Oh? Are they dangerous?"

"Well if by dangerous meaning people just up and disappear into the void because of local legends of creatures and spirits attacking them then yeah."

"Prefect. Prefect where the FUCK do you live?"

⋆. 𐙚 ˚𝓙ust some Yuu headcanons but they're all canon because I said so

Grim has nightmares of you someday leaving him and he wakes up crying and screaming, it wakes you up everytime he has nightmares because hearing Grim cry immediately makes you distressed. He would snuggle up to you more and you would sing him a lullaby back home to help him fall asleep and it always works. However you can't fall asleep back because you know after you go back home Grim will be alone in the Ramshackle with no one to take care of him.

On the topic of sleeping; you would sometimes tell him a bedtime story from your back home if he couldn't fall asleep. Stories with bad endings makes him upset even though he tells you otherwise so you would often make up a happy ending for him— even though the original story had the most gut wrenching bad ending.

The students at NRC view both you and Grim as a parent and son duo respectively— this would get reinforced when you call him little one occasionally. Grim actually likes being viewed as your son but would never tell you that, you know that he secretly likes being your dubbed son because he puffs out his chest whenever your dynamic gets mentioned. He also likes being babied, but would rather die than admit that to you.

He gets overprotective over you, like: whenever a guy asks for your number while you're away from him or when a guy seems more closer to you than normal he immediately gets mad and would get into fights if not for you intervening. And if anyone tries to steal a seat near you? Best believe he's gonna throw a fit, he literally cannot be seated away from you because he needs physical touch from you. Ace and Malleus catches strays from him because of the amount of times they tried to sit next to you.

You have four jars of savings hidden away just incase; one jar is for you, it's for when you want something nice but can't get it because of the allowance Crowley gives you— it's not even full, dare I say it's ninety percent empty. Meanwhile the other three are for Grim, it's for when you leave back home, and since you don't want Grim to starve, you left him some cash because you doubt Crowley will. You thought of this after overthinking late at night for what you will do incase you ever got the opportunity to go back home.

The ghosts promised to take care of Grim when you ever go back. This promise was made after watching the two of you (mainly Grim) cry at night about the possibility of you going back home.

If you have any jewelry in you, (I do, so this is like a self indulgence) you will most likely give it to Grim to help him cope your eventual disappearance. And if you have more then you probably gave it to Ace and Deuce. They most likely had to hold back tears while you have it to them; now they fidget with it when they ever feel anxious or if they miss you.

The people who are close to you got used to you being so touchy with them (this is actually canon, Yuu in the game has physical touch as their love language) and started doing it back to you. And if they're not usually touchy to other people, you're most likely the only exception.

There is practically no chance that you didn't have some kind of scarring during the overblots. You probably do have some littered all over your body.

You are camera shy. How did your friends find out? It's because you always take pictures of them, but whenever someone offers to take pictures so you could join them you would always turn it down. So when you leave they will most likely forget your face, they know this that's why they try to include you in the photos, but you will always reason with them. However Grim is the only exception for this panicking because you have a picture of only the two of you baking in your kitchen, miraculously you were in frame because it was a selfie. You made it into a locket so you could give it to your son (yes son) when you depart from twisted wonderland.

Might make a more refined version. I also sketched up a more masc version and a styled hijab.

Oh, the poor girl from another world. Magicless, helpless, constantly dragged into battles against Overblots that should have erased you on sight.

No one warned them that her feminine energy is… quite literally otherworldly. Turns out, every monster is punchable if you try hard enough.

Riddle

Dark clouds, the ground split open in several parts of the rose garden; the Unbirthday Party that Riddle so proudly proclaims with all its rigid, structural rules is an absolute disaster.

Trey is trying to reason with a completely deranged Riddle, who is swinging spears left and right; Ace and Deuce are only creating more chaos to distract him, too. Cater, on the other hand...

“Okay, okay, stay under the table and don’t move, alright, cutie?”

He leaves you under a table that has somehow magically remained intact, with its spotless white tablecloth still draped over it… as if you’re a tiny puppy. A wet, lost, terrified little puppy.

Oh hell nah

There is no poor, helpless, defenseless human girl without magic here. Well… without magic, yes. But defenseless? Never.

You scan the wreckage with your blood boiling.

Feral survival mode: activated

Aside from the table they so badly want you to hide under, everything is destroyed; the teacups are shattered; the elegant chairs are broken into multiple pieces, and several of them have splinters sharp enough to look useful.

One splintered piece of a backrest has a very suspiciously bat-like shape.

Perfect!

And while Riddle keeps going with his monologue, “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” here, and “I AM THE RULES!” there, you slip away like a sneaky little rat until you end up right behind him.

Crack

Solid wood connects with his skull… and he collapses like a puppet with its strings cut, completely graceless, all thanks to your immaculate strike with that improvised bat.

The Overblot ink dissolves, the monster disappears, and Riddle is left unconscious on the ground.

“…I didn’t kill him, right?”

Well… let’s hope not, sweetheart.

He’ll probably wake up with a lump the size of an egg and no memory whatsoever… though you absolutely are going to remind him of everything he made you suffer through these past few days. And if he tries it again...

That’s a paddling

Leona

Savanaclaw has become a death trap, sand flying everywhere, making it impossible to see and even harder to breathe.

It has turned even drier, even more suffocating, and with the monster at Leona’s back striking and roaring, everything trembles and breaks every millisecond.

Round two, sweetheart

Stopping your breathing seems like the most sensible option for now, considering you’re walking toward an Overblot with a lion-like monster behind him, whose ink creates hyenas and whose magic could turn you into golden dust.

The female survival instinct does not actually contain much survival, honestly.

Plenty of adrenaline, yes. Plenty of anger, too… but you’re not going for his back. You’re approaching from the side, in plain sight.

If plain sight can even count while Leona is unleashing a full sandstorm.

Well… oxygen is temporary.

“Pathetic. A tiny magicless herbivore, standing in my way…”

If there’s one thing you’ve learned from watching so many shows and movies, it’s that you never let the villain finish their monologue nor their transformation.

In this case, his monologue.

Between laughter and degrading comments… direct hit to the nose.

Maybe you break his cartilage, maybe you make him bleed, maybe you leave a bruise...maybe his nose ends up slightly crooked.

And maybe a couple of your knuckles break from the impact, too.

“I want ice, NOW!” you snap, shaking your hand like a maraca while completely ignoring the way Leona falls backward.

The ice arrives, the student clearly thinking it’s for his housewarden, but you snatch the frozen bag away and press it to your knuckles, abandoning the great lion on the floor.

The mighty king of the savanna… sprawled out on the sand.

Ruggie is on the ground beside him, lifting his head so the blood doesn’t make him choke, but he can’t stop laughing. He is not going to let him live this down from now on.

Leona probably won’t apologize when he wakes up… but he does put you on the same level of respect as the lionesses of Sunset Savanna.

Better to be safe and keep his distance than risk getting his nose broken again.

Azul

You should have seen it coming...

An octopus mage losing his composure, hysterical, with eight slippery tentacles moving everywhere…The perfect hentai scenario, and you don't want to be the tragic heroine of that genre.

But there you are, grabbed around the waist by one of those tentacles and lifted who knows how much off the ground.

In Azul’s twisted mind, you are not a threat. Just a simple, helpless land-dwelling human. A perfect little thing for his collection.

Well… he can tell that to your teeth.

The slimy, salty, suction-cupped appendage gets caught between your two rows of teeth, your canines sinking deeper than the rest of your pearly whites.

It’s like he’s being bitten by a mangy dog.

It is a wild, vicious bite, your head jerking as you try to tear even more of that awful rubbery texture apart.

Don’t even get me started on the coating of slime and squid ink. Gross, gross, disgusting. Blegh

And with a high-pitched shriek, Azul releases the tentacle, flailing it through the air. It writhes and curls into itself, trying to seek comfort in its owner’s hands.

The fall to the floor is not glorious, but at least you don’t break anything. What you do need to do is spit out whatever you managed to tear from that tentacle… and brush your teeth a thousand times to get that taste out of your mouth.

Rotten sushi

Floyd is smacking the floor with his hand, completely falling apart with laughter. Jade is already plotting the coming days and exactly how he is not going to let a single second pass without bothering his boss about this.

Meanwhile… Azul is still holding the tentacle in his hands, staring at it with tears in his eyes, soothing the wound with his palm.

You can hear sobs when he turns his back, choosing to cry with the last scrap of dignity he has left where no one can see his face.

For a loooong while, they stop serving takoyaki or anything with octopus at Mostro. The mere idea of seeing you eat seafood makes his skin crawl.

He still has teeth marks… a perfect souvenir

Jamil

Jamil’s Overblot, that serpentine figure like a naga, dark and dripping with ink and years of suppressed resentment. His snakes writhe from side to side, like Medusa, and his eyes are filled with cold, calculated fury.

He could easily pass as a mythological creature from Ancient Greece.

If not for the massive ego and more specifically targeted resentment… but hey, villains never really go after the people they should.

That is what makes you angriest.

Not the fact that Kalim is crying while dodging attack after attack, or the fact that Grim is clawing at one of Jamil’s snakes with his little paws.

No, it’s the fact that this boy is being a complete dumbass, blinded by his pent-up rage, incapable of recognizing his own weak points.

A couple of snakes spot you as an easy target, because obviously the only woman in the whole dorm has to be the party’s weakness.

Intention: unknown. You don’t want to find out, either.

With some effort, you grab them with your bare hands, each head in each fist, and pull, as if you’re yanking on a rope with treasure at the other end.

In this case, you are dragging Jamil directly toward you.

He stumbles, thrown off-balance, completely shocked by your brute strength and by the fact that you somehow managed to capture two of his snakes.

That surprise is what costs him when your knee slams into the area beneath his sternum.

Direct hit to the stomach and part of the lungs… let’s hope you don’t leave bruises on his organs.

The air bursts out of his mouth, and he folds in half, curling pathetically in on himself and wheezing with thin strands of saliva clinging to his lips.

You are not in the mood to watch him vomit all over Scarabia’s beautiful marble… but you do hear his tiny groans and sobs.

A kick to the balls probably would have hurt less.

“Ironic that you’re more scared of insects than snakes”

He’s already on the floor, don’t humiliate him further

The best apology Jamil can think of is leaving you cups of coffee. Good coffee, coffee from Silk City, not the burnt sludge from the cafeteria or Ramshackle. A cup always waits for you before class and after a veeeeeery long day.

And every time, he leaves it near you, but that doesn't mean he stays close. He steps back a few paces, covering his stomach…just in case.

Vil

The stage is in ruins, the screens shattered… the perfect setting for the most beautiful man in the world, Vil Schoenheit, to look this ruined.

Ruined… but beautiful and terrifying in equal measure. Golden radiance and black rot, perfection and poison; the combination of gold, violet, and black suits him like it was made for him.

Rook is trying to reason with him, leaving the poetry for another moment… which means everything is truly going to hell.

Epel and the others are trying not to breathe in too much of the poison slowly contaminating the air.

And there you are… a tiny little thing, defenseless, probably the most ordinary and ugly thing on the stage by Vil’s current standards.

“I WILL BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL!”

The most logical thing to do is make him uglier.

And there you go, climbing him like a monkey scaling a tree, pulling yourself up from the hems of his refined dress or robe or whatever the hell his Overblot version has put him in, while he tries to smack you away like an insect.

More than once, he scratches you with his long nails, but nothing stops your path toward his golden hair.

“GET OFF ME… YOU IRRITATING INSECT!”

Your hands grab a fistful of his strands… and pull.

Those classic hair-pulling yanks from women fighting, grabbing each other by the scalp and painfully ripping at the roots

And his scream is so high-pitched that it echoes through the entire coliseum, piercing and completely undignified. How dare someone like you, with those filthy hands, touch his immaculate hair?

His monster shrieks with him, mimicking his twists and his frantic attempts to throw you off his shoulders.

If your life weren’t currently at risk, Epel would probably take out his phone and start recording the whole thing. It’s too ironic

The great Vil, defeated because someone pulled his hair.

On the stage floor, ink, makeup, and sweat decorate the ground… and a few golden-violet strands are floating through the air.

His hair can recover with enough treatment; his ego, on the other hand, is going to take a little longer.

Idia

STYX is about to collapse if this keeps going.

The screens are falling to the floor, panels are breaking apart, and Idia’s Overblot ink is consuming everything in its path. And poor Ortho is there like a puppet of his brother’s despair.

Ortho, the gentlest humanoid you have ever known, is now a lifeless shell, mechanical and precise enough to kill.

Run, run, and hide. Run, hide, and survive; that is what your subconscious is screaming at you. Let the others deal with fighting that robotic figure Idia has become.

You focus on his little brother while you keep running.

“Please do not resist. My big brother says you are not to be hurt”

How thoughtful

“But I must immobilize you for your own safety,” he says, cannons ready.

Well, I take that back

“I’m sorry, Ortho”

“Why?” he asks, tilting his head, unable to understand why a simple, helpless human is apologizing to an android.

With one elbow strike, you hit his sensory matrix, destabilizing him, and then you slam into the left side of his chassis, right where there is a small weakness you saw Idia repair a few days ago.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

Hurting little Ortho causes you more psychological damage than anything else, but it is absolutely necessary that he be neutralized first.

Because the moment Idia realizes his little brother is out of the game, his attention goes straight to you… and to the broken piece of chassis that fell off Ortho.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHER?! YOU, AN INSIGNIFICANT PERSON, WITHOUT ANYTH—”

Ready. Aim. Throw!

You launch the metal chassis piece like a frisbee. It spins and spins and spins, and it hits the target: his technologically creepy mask.

Clang.

The mask cracks in two, and Idia is thrown backward, falling hard to the floor.

“Your brother is fine… though he does need better repairs”

Ortho is going to be mad at him when they both wake up, and you are probably going to become his favorite.

Respect levels: maxed out

Malleus

Pray for your life if you want to come out of a battle against a dragon unharmed.

So many romantic medieval stories talk about majestic dragons, enormous dragons, fire-breathing dragons, and yet none of them prepared you for having one right in front of you.

Especially because his green fire is infused with magic that the fantasy stories from your world never even bothered to imagine.

Try not to shit yourself while dodging flame after flame, and the occasional piece of debris when you pass under his claws.

Even in his normal form, Malleus is huge… but as a dragon, he is completely imposing.

And once again, you find yourself praying to every god you know from your old world and this new one when you stand in front of that obsidian-colored creature.

“ARE YOU INSANE?!”

“GET BACK HERE!”

Shouts, so many shouts, and with very good reason. What sane person stands in front of a dragon that is a thousand times their size?

You, apparently

But there is that tiny little worm of hope, believing with absurd faith that Malleus would never hurt you, not even in this form.

His great head lowers until it is only a hand’s distance away from you, those enormous green eyes staring directly at you, his hot breath surrounding you completely… your heart on the verge of bursting while you pray he does not open his mouth and swallow you whole.

“Hi, Tsunotaro”

His snout opens and closes, smelling you, recognizing you as his friend from late-night walks.

He recognizes you

“Please… don’t take this personally”

You punch him right on the tip of the snout.

That impact… pure and incomprehensible audacity.

HOW DOES IT EVEN OCCUR TO YOU TO PUNCH A DRAGON? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH STRENGTH YOU WOULD NEED FOR THAT TO ACTUALLY HURT HIM?!

Well… it doesn’t hurt him, exactly, but it absolutely makes him stumble from the shock.

The finishing blow is delivered by the others, and the battle ends, making Malleus return to his original form while you stand there with a hand completely reddened from the punch.

Malleus, heir to Briar Valley, will remember this day. He will remember the tiny magicless human with enough nerve to strike him in his dragon form.

“Everything is punchable if you try hard enough.”

I imagine that everyone in Twisted Wonderland has magic in their bodies. I think that living in a world full of magic would result in at least a little magic being absorbed into their bodies. As a result, their bones would thinner and more brittle than Yuu's but magic keeps them from fracturing their bones all the time. This could also apply for literally any of the species in Twisted Wonderland.

Is there fake invitations? Yes.

Is Lilia the wedding officiant? Yes.

Is Sebek the “ring” bearer? Yes.

Are the rings actually just new keychains for the Tamagotchi‘s? Yes.

Is Silver the flower girl? Yes.

Is everyone taking this stupidly seriously? Yes.

Is everyone wearing some form of wedding attire? Yes.

Is Ace, Deuce, and Grim trying not to cry? Yes.

Is Rook crying at the wedding? Yes.

Is Jamil trying to stop Kalim from buying everybody their own Tamagotchi so that this can happen again? Yes.

Is there free food that Ruggie is absolutely taking home? Yes.

Is Azul trying to use this as a business opportunity? Yes.

Is there video games at the wedding (provide provided by ortho)? Yes.

Is everyone having a great time? Yes

Did the wedding turn into absolute chaos in less than three hours? Yes.

Is Malleus absolutely ecstatic that all of his friends are here? Yes.

Was this your idea? Yes.

They learn your name isn’t ‘Yuu’ — which is a mistake made by the dark mirror and nickname Crowley endorsed on the day you arrived. You’ve just been rolling with it since.

Until now.

You’ve applied for citizenship in their home country post-graduation and it hits them that…they don’t know your last name. Trying not to seem like a bad boyfriend, they sneak a peak at your official documents issued by Night Raven’s guardianship.

Only to learn that they apparently didn’t know your first name either. Wow. *low whistle* that is just….yeah. That’s something alright.

—

Riddle is floored. Considering he is a man of details, how on earth could he go four years without knowing your last name? While simultaneously misusing your first? He isn’t sure how to proceed. Should he be angry with himself for overlooking such an important matter, or angry at you for being so flippant? Both. The answer is both. He is going to be thinking about this for years.

“...Four years, and not once did you think to correct me?" He exhales, measured but tense. "That is either a remarkable lapse in judgment, or an astonishing lack of consideration. Do you have any idea how improper that is—on both our parts?!”

Cater makes a joke, insisting that this was your plan all along, huh? To assume a new identity the moment you weren’t tied to the Isle of Sages anymore? When you dock in the Queedom, will you disappear into the night? Good luck with that, sweetie. Under the jokes he is in mourning. He really liked the nickname YuuYuu. Even if you tell him it’s okay to use, he just can’t.

“Aww, babe, that is so shady of you but kind of iconic, not gonna lie." He laughs, then winces. "I cannot believe you really pulled the whole identity swap trope on me. AH! I've been hashtagging the wrong name for years! My brand is about to be in shambles.”