Androids and being asleep.

Weight 19/7/2022: 128.9kg

Weight 2/10/2022: 132.2kg

Loss/Gain: 3.3kg

Overall Loss/Gain: .9kg

Humm, okay, I thought I'd weighed in much more recently than this. Guess not!

Well anyway - I've been back up around 131-132ish kilograms for a while now. And I haven't been taking any real action towards losing weight or improving my fitness. Obviously.

I'm still... There's a big part of me that is completely sick and tired of the way I look and feel right now (no self-hatred, though, which is a nice change!). And I really do want to change and get back to being a person who actually feels like *me*.

But there's this kind of hopeless frustration and lack of drive that's still preventing me from doing a lot of things I want and need to do. I've managed to break through with my writing, because that's something I can easily keep track of on a day-to-day basis.

I'm not sure about using a tracker/accountability app for fitness and weight loss, though, because of my tendency to fixate on calorie intake and inadvertently aim below my recommended intake, which is bad for my chronic reflux and IBS etc. Not to mention my mental health.

Perhaps I need to make a clean-slate "fitblr", since my main tumblr here is a complete mix of dash content now, and use that to help me focus? IDK, I guess I can try something like that and hope that there are more than just 20-something fitness models out there these days! 😅 I have nothing against 20-something fitness models, per se, but when you're closing in on 50 and full of creaky joints, their content is not aimed at you!!

Anyway. I've always been the "make 500 separate tumblrs for separation" queen, so I think I'm going to go and do that and see if that helps me with my focus, planning, and tracking.

My main goal is to lose that, and then try to lose a little bit more, kinda as insurance. I'm not fussed about getting super hot or super fit, just back to where I feel physically comfortable because at this point, I do not.

Hedgehog family. British land mammals and their habits. 1911. Frontispiece.