trying on a metaphor

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Xuebing Du
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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$LAYYYTER
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#extradirty
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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@jumping-my-bay

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things that still freak me out: those sinks americans have in their kitchens that you can destroy stuff with
Honestly this post has been on my mind all day. Those weird destructosinks for people with too much money are apparently common in America. And Americans get defensive over them.
Well don’t come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink.
hOLY SHIT WHAT IF U TRY AND CLEAN THE PLUG AND TURN IT ON IM SO SCARED
Okay it took me for-fucking-ever to figure out wtf you guys are talking about are you talking about garbage disposals? Like down the drain??
with the spinny knives
No knives, just a dull piece of spinny metal.
you realise it takes the same amount of force to cut thru a carrot as a finger
i dont know what you do over there but we usually don’t stick our hands in our sink drains
who’s going around fisting sinks anyway
“don’t come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink”
is that person saying they fuck kitchen sinks? is that what I just read? they put their dick in the sink’s drain and they fuck it?
dont sinkshame
Child. Wean means child.
Okay, so you put your CHILD in a sink and stuff them down the drain? That’s… that’s definitely worse.
This post is an experiance.
i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do
Smoove with it too
This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters.
“Pathetic. You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”
reminds me of this gif
Baseball players are to be feared
Reblogging for the last one
^Same for me
They just kept getting progressively more “woah”
i wanna date a baseball player
I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE SCRATCH MY BACK OR DO THE LITTLE SKIN TRACE THING OR PLAY WITH MY HAIR OH MY
@therelatabletexts (via therelatabletexts)

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This is one of my favorite posts because that cat’s fucking name is fucking meatloaf
Let us just appreciate that this person’s dad didn’t know when they would be home and so he couldn’t plan for them to be able to join the family for dinner, but he knew with no doubts that dear sweet Meatloaf staying in that exact position for hours was an absolute in this scenario. Truly, that cat was named well.
one of my favorite posts on tumblr over the course of 5 fucking years.. clearly i need a life
Meatloaf is a reliable cat and did not steal the money for selfish reasons. A rare friend.
I love Meatloaf. :)
Bless Meatloaf
Reblog Money Meatloaf to get surprise $40
What the fuck you looking at keep scrolling.
I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.
Margaret Atwood (via thequotejournals)

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I just got a new laptop and it doesn’t have AdBlocker yet and I swear to god I’ve never seen an ad on tumblr because I just watched a 3 minute video about Cruise Holidays because I thought it was an elaborate shitpost
You wake up from an one night stand with Sharon that you met from tinder. She’s classy and amazing, and said that she was going to make you breakfast. You get dressed and walk out to the dining table, and Jonah hill is sitting there with a cup of orange juice.
What do you do
people at my school: whats your tumblr url
me: whats tumblr
people at school: its a website where people follow you, i actually have a lot of followers haha
me: really how many
people at school: 60 haha
me:
people at school:
me:
people at school:
me: wow thatS A LOt

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Watching a super hero movie directed by a woman is like putting glasses on for the first time.
I didn’t realize how much I had to squint through the “male gaze” till suddenly, miraculously, I didn’t have to.
There were absolutely NO eye candy shots of Diana. There were Amazons with ageing skin and crows feet and not ONE of them wore armor that was a glorified corset. When Diana did the superhero landing, her thigh jiggled onscreen.
Did you hear me? HER FUCKING THIGH JIGGLED. Wonder Woman’s thigh jiggled on a 20-foot tall screen in front of everyone.
Because she wasn’t there to make men drool. She wasn’t there to be sexy and alluring and flirt her way to victory, and that means she has big, muscular thighs, and when they absorb the impact of a superhero landing, they jiggle, and.that’s.WONDERFUL.
Thank you, Patty Jenkins, for giving me a movie about a woman, told by a woman,so I can see it through my eyes, not some dude bro who’s there for boobs and butts.
Me: Let me go slip into something more... comfortable.
Me: [ comes back wearing a blanket as a cape ]