On the Road

someone called my house gay so i had to sell it.  couldnt live in a gay house

one time i was at a nightclub and it was really dark and i met a guy and we didnt really talk he kind of just like guided me to the dance floor and we grinded on eachother and made out and he whispered wanna go to my place in my ear and i was like yeah ok so we went outside to get a cab and we looked at each other in the light of the streetlight and he turned out to be my bio. teacher and he literally sprinted away

strap in, child

My fucking childhood in one post omg the only thing missing is Star Wars and Disney.

The FUCKING BRAIN QUESTS OH MY GOD

My entire childhood.

wait do they not have these things anymore what

hate texting ppl who don’t use a billion emojis and a trillion exclamation points in their messages. just say u hate me and want me to die

Titanic where everything is the same but winona ryder plays Jack and we get to see her and Kate winslet fall in love

And they both fucking make it alive??? and grow old together. Making that “it’s been 84 years” line more iconic together???? Yes please

Winona is thinner and weighs less. Enough room on the plank for both of them w/o sinking.

i was scrolling this expecting it to get more and more out of this world to the point i was wondering when will this end and how could this get any more worse

bara croft has made some points…

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

THIS