Joycat

there’s a very specific aesthetic i’m going for on this blog and it’s called cool things i like

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

I don’t know how you got a good grade in being a passenger on an airline but that’s a totally normal thing to achieve and I’m not seething with jealousy at all.

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

luca haas panicking because the ottawa boys are placing bets on where ilya goes in his spare time & luca so desperately wants to bet that he drives to montreal to fuck shane hollander (thanks to his time in tumblr hockey rpf) but obviously he can’t due to his strict moral code and general bashfulness

during his first year in ottawa, ilya casually mentions he’s going to get coffee with david after practice and the team is like “who tf is david?????” meanwhile luca haas, hollanov shipper supreme, starts losing his fucking mind

listen you have to picture Shane walking into the centaurs training room to find Luca Haas and Ilya Rozanov singing along to Hat Sie Nicht Gesagt without missing a single word. trust me.

they should make a Getting Out of Bed that doesn’t take an hour

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn