Joan Jams

imagine coming home and your mom found your steampunk clothes and shes just there with her arms crossed

she's holding up a ziplock bag of gears and springs asking you what they're for

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

I hope you get your favorite food this week and your favorite drink and your favorite 2k dollars

I'm sorry there's no magic in this post I'm just talking. I hope good stuff happens to people online I hope good things happen to all of us

can someone please please please please send me a grilled cheese in the maill I'm so hungry my address is 100 ocean

Fish don't you know better than to dox yourself on the Internet

vampire with the ability to put humans in thrall but they use it solely to make viral asmr videos

you are feeling sleepy. you are feeling sooooooo relaxed. you are going to like and subscribe for more content

im going to fix my entire life

When?

Like Um. later

Well, are you?. We’re waiting.

There’s a lot to be umami about these days.

Writing by an unrealized trans woman is hilarious because all the female characters get these hyper-detailed descriptions with sophisticated terminology and then the inexplicably male main character walks onto the scene with a sentence like, “He had brown hair and was wearing a t-shirt. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.”

that is the most beautiful airfryer i have ever seen

found it! bruno smart air fryer in mint green BZK-KZ02TW-GR

Theirs a horse in the pingles

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral