joslia

the other day i saw a quote and it went something like "you could be the most beautiful rose in the world but it wont matter to someone who only likes lilies" and it made me think a lot about how ill never be someone's first choice no matter how hard i try because nobody wants a droopy, wilted rose

today i sat in my bed and did nothing but cry and scream and stare at my phone waiting for someone to finally talk to me. i used to go out and try to make friends but its never worked. nobody ever stays and i dont know why. now im just by myself. i havent left my apartment in over a week and i havent spoken to or even seen another person since. no one has asked if im ok or where ive been. its like i never existed to anyone. i cry so hard i throw up and i still cant stop. i try to reach out to people every single fucking day but im left with either silence or rejection and i dont know which one is worse.