jordyn

Okay but I’m pretty sure they changed the word “juice” to “goose” and I’m 100% living for this.

I’m in love

flex on em

EXCUSE ME?

<I>what the fuck is buffalo chicken dip</I>

it’s 2028, alexa informs you that a radiation storm is rolling in from the eastern wastes as your food replicator slowly prints a plate of soy protein wings. your wife holoprojects from work to tell you she has another nine hours at the amazon warehouse and she’s gotta go before she burns her unpaid five minute lunch break. the seven friends you’re sharing a studio apartment with are huddled on the floor, each jacked into vr rigs. the superbowl is endless and your heart is a yawning void.

new olympic sport: the contestants must sit on their legs until they fall asleep and then run down a flight of stairs

…but don’t be obvious