It's Jordan Dodds Here

So, I don’t normally post here. But I’m sort of desperate tonight.

Don’t know if any of you saw about Cal’s situation, but it’s left me heartbroken and unable to really articulate my emotions.

So I tried to capture it with a free verse of sorts. I’m not expecting a standing ovation, nor did I write it to receive any praise. The only reason I’m posting it is to maybe help any of you who are also struggling, to find peace in our common grieving. We must prevail, together.

Homophobic Streets of America

The quickened pavement beats Heavily on the soles of my feet as I race down these homophobic streets of America.

“Faggot” “Queer”

Is that what they choose to call me? Is there no respect to the people who championed for marriage equality? Is #lovewins just a fantasy? A figment of our imagination, not reality? When did being gay consume my identity?

I am a brother and a son A husband and a loved one Let concise words be our ammunition, not bullets and guns. Fists come quick and the irreversible damage is done.

Innocent lives being lost for political gain, Shooters blowing up clubs for limelight and fame. Politicians and the media avoiding the blame Playing chess with victims like its some sort of game- Leaving a wake of terror and pain.

Husbands holding hands is a political statement A careless act of love so innocent turned blatant Fuck the closet, they want us locked up in the basement. Freedom isn’t free if it comes with enslavement.

“But look how far we’ve come” becomes the mantra of the many Consolation prizes handed down by the gentry Feeding us not quality, but of the plenty Making up hashtags only when it becomes trendy Only now, our pride parades empty Scattering in fear from the homophobic frenzy That sweeps our nation down to the elementary.

Growing up gay in 2016 Is by no means a coveted luxury It’s a tale belittled to homosexual buggery A life of which is often taken before self discovery Spirits, if not bones, broken by religious thuggery.

The streets of America aren’t lined with gold They are built upon the stories that were never told Of the slaves who were bought and sold To the women who did what they were told- Or even to the child who took their own life never to grow old Overcome with the burden too heavy to hold.

Our nation can no longer ignore our plight Fuck, it’s our turn to take back the night! Together we stand a chance only if we unite To kindle the flame Harvey Milk told us to ignite To come out of the closest, to love as a birthright.

Because as I see it, our movement has no end in sight Because if injustice is alive, so is our fight.

“Homo” “Fag”

These words whisper in the distance I’m not asking for tolerance but merely acceptance. What’s so hard about practicing coexistence? And where the fuck is our national assistance? There’s only so much of who can resist this. Being told to kill yourself just for existing.

I don’t have the answers that I’m frantically seeking To stop our community from violently bleeding But what they can’t stop is our collective of healing. One beat, one pulse, simultaneously breathing. Gather our dead, and hold onto our weeping Rebuild our nation, for all are who are worth safekeeping Lessons learned, not for repeating.

Mark: Whether I’m gay or not has no reflection –

Owen: No, it does. Just listen –

Julia: I don’t think that you have ownership of horror of this crime.

Owen: Can I just say, I find this, I find this astonishing.

Julia: I’m not Jewish and I’m not gay, I’m not French, but I still am equally horrified by these crimes.

Owen: This was a – I’m being yelled at, which is incredible.

Julia: Stop talking so [we hadn’t do].

Mark: That’s the headline: ‘Isil wages war on gays in west’. Now you share that view, that basically this was deliberately targeted on one part of the community rather than the freedom to enjoy yourself no matter what your sexual orientation is.

Owen: What are you talking about?!?

Mark: I’m talking about the coverage in the newspapers.

Owen: It’s not some abstract, kind of, he just picked a random club out of nowhere. He picked a club because it was full of people he regarded as deviants. That’s why he attacked the club.

Julia: It’s a hate crime, this is an act of terrorism, it was an attack on gay people, absolutely, it was horrific. However, my mind guesses this man probably would be as horrified by me as a gobby woman as he would – genuinely, genuinely – this is the thing. We don’t know right now. We can speculate, but we don’t know how much of this is motivated by just his homophobia.

Owen: We heard from his own father about his revulsion – why are we trying to deflect? Why are you both pick-

Mark: We are not trying to deflect. We are trying to reflect what is being said by the authorities here and –

Owen: Can I ask, what argument are you trying to pick here?

Mark: I’m now going to quote from what The Telegraph is saying…’his father said…[he] may have targeted the gay community after becoming angry when he saw two men–’

Owen: ‘May have’? He did! Why are you saying this?

Julia: ‘After seeing two men kissing in Miami some months ago’ – he may have been angered by many other things since then!

Owen: I’m sorry. I just find this the most astonishing thing I’ve ever been involved with on television. If he’d walked into a synagogue, and massacred dozens of Jewish people, you wouldn’t be saying what you’re saying now.

Owen: This bizarre attempt to deflect from this –

Mark: We are trying to draw parallels in terrorist attacks on people who are being attacked whether they are enjoying rock music in Paris, whether they are gay people in Florida enjoying a night out.

Julia: I completely accept it, as [Mark] does, that it was a homophobic attack, but for me the issue is there are going to be homophobic people, there’ll be people who hate black people, or who hate gay people, or hate Jewish people. There are going to be people, who are lunatics, who are fanatics –

Owen: Who are “lunatics”! Stop using these words, Julia!

Julia: Is it possible for me to finish one sentence?

Owen: If you stop using words like “lunatic” to talk about homophobic terrorist attacks!

Julia: Well thank you. Whoever these people are, and whatever their motivations are, the key thing is we’re always going to have mad and bad people in the world.

Owen: Mad and bad people. Okay.

Julia: And the key issue is, that they can’t do too much or any harm. When you have free access to assault weapons in a country like America, then they’re able to put their hatred of other people –

Owen: Yes! Obviously!

Julia: – into effect, and do damage. That’s the issue for me.

(discussion between Mark and Julia on gun control and the U.S. …Julia: It is absolutely absurd, if America were not going to do something about gun control after Sandy Hook in 2012, if you’re going to watch six- and seven-year-olds being massacred and you don’t think you need to act, they are never going to act.)

Mark: There’s something else here in The Telegraph coverage, which I think we need to bring up, Owen, in relation to your point. And that is, I think that we’ve got at least a call from a spokesman for Stonewall saying that people would be feeling vulnerable, and basically indicating –

Owen: Oh, you’re going to have an LGBT voice talking about it. Interesting.

Mark: Sorry?

Owen: Nothing, carry on. Go on.

Julia: Owen, seriously.

Owen: I’ve had enough of this. I’m going home. Sorry. No way.

Julia: Owen, genuinely, we’re trying to have a civilized conversation.

Owen: I know you’re having it, I don’t want it!

Julia: I know you’re upset, you’re very upset –

Owen: Yeah, I am, I’m very upset. I’m very upset.

Julia: Everyone’s upset and angry about this, but storming off a TV set –

May the families of those lost at Pulse in Orlando find some peace someday soon. My love goes out to the whole LGBTQ+ community tonight, all my brothers, sisters, and comrades. Stay strong.