john, he/him, im an introject people call me "medieval roman roy" which can only be a good thing
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@john1166
john, he/him, im an introject people call me "medieval roman roy" which can only be a good thing

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my moat fucking sucks and i am going to get sieged
GOOFUS listens to cries for mercy in the dungeon. GALLANT knows the rack speaks the truth
do u mind if I practice my cruelty here. ok thanks
logan roy - rolling with the LGBT

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my lawyers have asked me to state publically and for the record that i specifically asked if nobody would rid me of this turbulent priest. the subsequent death via my vassal knights of anyone who isn't a priest (and my lawyers agree i have a strong case with my point that an archbishop of canterbury would not usually be referred to as "a priest") can have had nothing at all to do with my unfortunate outburst at dinner that one evening, and people need to stop saying the two events are connected or i will have yet another job for my lawyers.
also if anyone knows how to get un-ex-communicated quickly and easily please let me know. thanks in advance.
(thomas becket stans DNI, especially if you are pushing for his canonisation which if you ask me is very premature and also he was mean to me which i think should automatically exclude him from consideration for sainthood.)
Plot Like A Eunuch Fuck Like A Emperor
(having a good week) that’s right. the goal is to increase my baseline. make the spirals shallower until they spin lazily on the surface of the water, lose their suction. im not trying to fix it all at once, im trying to incrementally improve my way into something tolerable. and once im there maybe i can shoot for good
(having a bad week) and in my terrible forge i will temper the flames of ruin
4 beers in at medieval times and your boy starts to get a little nonbinary with it wyd
maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

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Hellelil and Hildebrand, the Meeting on the Turret Stairs (1864) by Frederic William Burton
they’re burning me at the stake tomorrow. If anyone wants to come
cras in palo comburar. si quis adesse velit
today is the start of No Mercy May where you put 1 village to the sword every day for the whole month
the psyop was completely successful & the enemy is tiring out their archers for no reason by volley firing their longbows

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I really like the hungry eaglets story because it is very clearly just some bullshit gerald made up bc he was mad but also like. It is a perfect summary. My sons are 4 hungry eaglets that will not stop persecuting me unto death. Ok henry. and who made them hungry in the first place…
I love in tdc when he shows the tapestry to alys specifically because it really does just go to show how fucking crazy and evil henry is that he’s like yeah. This is my epic tapestry dedicated to how much I hate my sons and how much they hate me. Do you like it my underage mistress that’s betrothed to my gay son
I really like the hungry eaglets story because it is very clearly just some bullshit gerald made up bc he was mad but also like. It is a perfect summary. My sons are 4 hungry eaglets that will not stop persecuting me unto death. Ok henry. and who made them hungry in the first place…