try to rise above the reproductive frenzy of your noisy little food chain and contemplate friendship. i'm in too many fandoms and hit the post limit on a regular basis. good luck out there // shey/heir/it/its please title is a description of the other from lungbarrow by loomlight / above quote is from missy in doctor who’s “the magician’s apprentice”
ok new pinned post that’s just a reblog of my old pinned post because i like it too much
hi, i’m trixie! i use shey/heir & it/its pronouns. this is my main blog (you can also find me @goldenzingy46butwriteblr (fanfiction), @trixierosewrites (original fiction), @chronicwhorebatman (original batman posts), and uh. like 15 other blogs) and i post a lot about doctor who, and also a bunch of other stuff (heated rivalry, batman, the terror, classics, malevolent, star wars, etc.)
my ao3, nsfw anon collection, my website (to be linked when it’s less lorem ipsum and more actual text)
commonly used tags:
-> trixie.text (original posts)
-> trixie’s own personal hell (personal tag, but you can rb all of this or interact with it however you like. i don’t care)
-> trixie's vaguely interesting dw posts (dw posts i think are interesting)
-> trixie thonks on dw (dw meta)
-> trixie's dw episode musings (posts i’ve made while watching/listening to a specific episode, or things about a specific episode. also tagged as interesting if i think they’re interesting. trixie's dw episode musings: [number] or something is appended per doctor; bf is appended for big finish; bf[number] per big finish doctor. example: trixie's dw episode musings: 5; trixie's dw episode musings: bf5)
-> otherposting (posts about the other. there’s some subtags on this but you can probably find those by clicking on the otherposting tag. i am lazy)
-> fiveyposting (all of the good stuff filtered OUT. this is just the nonsense.)
-> trixie’s malevolent livelisten (what it says on the tin)
-> a couple other liveread tags (tlt & wicked off the top of my head. all doctor who novels are just tagged with the name of the novel)
-> vent (i used to have a me specific tag but i’ve stopped using it because i forgot what it was)
-> trixie bonk tag (asks; dw asks are also tagged dw asks)
-> [jazz music stops] (original politics posts. you’ll see these more around uk general elections than anything else)
-> ref/fave/top fave/top fucking fave/jfj frequent rewatch tag/poll tag (various tags i use for refinding things)
if i didn’t answer your ask: i will. i just have every disorder under the sun so sometimes it takes a while
if you think i’ve blocked you: uhhh. i might’ve. i block for: bigotry, being a dick, terfs/radfems, anyone using tma/tme, pissing me off, being annoying, disliking fifth/eleventh/twelfth doctor, being wrong about doctor who, character hate in the main tags, asking me for money more than once when i don’t know you, posting about weight loss, misuse of a tag i like (off the top of my head, “the doctor” & “best enemies”). so. as you can imagine i have blocked a lot of people.
i appreciate being told if i’ve reblogged something that’s ai art or being used to fuel a form of bigotry. if you’re my friend/mutual you can also ask me to delete something posted by someone specific. i don’t respond to anonymous asks that say “don’t reblog from xyz they’ve been cancelled” 👍
i've had this blog since i was fourteen years old. if you find a post from years ago and i'm saying something stupid, i was probably being fourteen about it :/
you can tag me in tag games and you can always send me asks and you can send me a message. worse case scenario i don’t respond because i am bad at responding. i appreciate it anyway :)
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what they DONT tell you about clarinets is that you have to fucking build the damn thing every single time. "what instrument do you play" fucking legos man idk
about build clarinets damn do DONT every fucking fucking have idk instrument is legos man play" single tell that the they thing time. to what "what you you you
“Covid game me narcolepsy” no you fucking pervert it didn’t. You’re just a weirdo with a gross fetish. Covid didn’t make you suddenly want to fuck dead people. Keep that shit to yourself you gods damned weirdo
I have type 2 Narcolepsy. Studies have shown that serious viral infections can cause people to develop Narcolepsy if they are already genetically susceptible to having it. This includes covid. That is what happened to me.
You on the other hand might want to google the difference between Narcolepsy and Necrophilia….
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introducing my four year old niece to the concept of "moral dilemmas" by telling her that i'm a monster that eats children and that i know it's wrong but i'm so so so hungry and everything else tastes yucky. i've tried all the human food in the world and it all tastes so yucky i can't even eat it. i can only eat children and i'm so hungry
her resolution was that if i meet a kid that has the same name as their sibling, then i can eat one of them. their parents won't be sad, because they have another kid with the same name right there. speaks to an uninformed but fascinating worldview
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I'm so endeared by the French term for a stray cat being "chat errant." This implies the existence of a stray knight. Or that a chat errant is searching for noble purpose.
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Ok, what if when two soulmates happen to be in front of a mirror at the same time they can see each other? It starts almost immediately so Shane at three or four is sitting on his parents' bed watching his mother get ready and instead of himself he sees another little boy with a halo of curls. They stare at each other. Shane, confused, waves. His wrong reflection does not wave with him. The other boy tilts his head and blinks in confusion. His mother doesn't notice. After a beat, the other boy pulls a face at him and sticks out his tongue. Purely on instinct, Shane sticks his tongue back out at him. They both laugh and then the other little boy freezes and runs off. Shane's reflection returns.
"What's funny, baby?" his mother asks.
"Nothing." Shane says because he has no idea what that was.
It takes awhile for happenstance to strike again, and even then it's only glimpses for awhile. Then at ten, they move and Shane has his own bathroom with a big mirror. Sometimes when he's getting ready for school in the morning, brushing his teeth, the other boy is there instead, but he's dressed like he's going to bed. By now, Shane has heard about soulmates, he wonders if the other boy has too. So Shane mouths 'hi'. The other boy frowns and mouths back something else entirely. When Shane shakes his head, the boy wrinkles his nose. It takes a few tries before Shane painstakingly writes a message out backwards and show it to the mirror 'My name is Shane. I speak English. You?'
The other boy stares at the words, frowns and then runs off. Shane waits and even though he winds up almost missing the bus it's worth it because the other boy holds up a sign with weird lettering, but he's patient enough to hold it until Shane can take a picture with his Polaroid. It takes weeks of looking in the library (Shane doesn't ask his teachers much of anything usually and anyway, he doesn't ever know what to do with himself during library time, so it gives him a project). He determines the other boy is using Cyrillic. This explains less than he'd like. The school library doesn't have any books about Cyrillic. Defeated, he finally caves and tells his parents "I see a boy in the mirror, he uses this alphabet, can I get a book?" His mother hugs him very hard. Soulmates, he learns, are rare and precious. He also learns that maybe his parents were worried about him in ways that don't entirely make sense, but okay. Fine. Glad we squared that away. Can I have a dictionary now?
If it had been two years later, he might not have asked. He would have been too afraid of what it might mean to have a male soulmate. Lucky they moved. Lucky that they brush their teeth and the same time.
Shaky-handed characters and pantomime get them to 'Ilya' and 'Shane'. A lucky glimpse in a locker room bathroom gets them to 'hockey'. They start to use clocks to make sure they don't miss each other. When Ilya misses one of their schedule times, Shane can barely think about anything else all day. He knows they won't have a chance again until tomorrow, but when he goes to pee before dinner, he finds Ilya in the mirror, his eyes red-rimmed. For the first time, Ilya seems way too far away. Shane put his hand to the mirror and when Ilya put his hand up too and it's shaking, Shane wants desperately to be closer. That's how his mom finds him on top of the vanity which is not doing well with the weight of a preadolescent hockey player with his whole torso pressed to the glass. She doesn't make him get down. Maybe because he's crying too without any idea what they're both sobbing about. He won't for years.
It goes and goes. Shane interrupts Ilya getting ready to go out, finds him styling his hair. Shane mimics him with a smile and Ilya wrinkles his nose at him. Ilya watches Shane floss in bafflement, but takes up the habit too, seemingly so he can make fun of the faces Shane makes. When they happen to catch each other in hockey gear, they use their fingers to signal goals and assists. Shane keeps track in a little book that holds a lot of things. No one else can see Ilya, anymore than any one can see Shane on Ilya's side, but they learn to be careful in public restrooms, coming up with a clear subtle signal for 'not home' since they can't see the others location. They watch each other grow up. They learn how to write in each other's languages and backwards at that.
And finally, finally, comes the sentence that makes Shane's heart skip a beat. In Ilya's pretty handwriting (good even in his second language and backwards which makes Shane unbearably jealous and proud):
I will see you soon.
They meet at four sitting on their mother's beds across the world from each other. They meet at twelve, sharing a pain that doesn't need words to be clear. They meet at fourteen, Shane fresh out of the shower and Ilya shirtless, things wakening in Shane that he thought he would never understand. They meet at sixteen, hands pressed to the place on Shane's mirror that is always marred with fingerprints.
They meet at seventeen. Shane sees him across the parking lot and tries to stay cool, walking instead of running. He watches Ilya try to light his cigarette and gets there before flame touches it.
"You're not kissing me for the first time tasting like cigarette smoke, asshole."
"This is not romantic," Ilya protested. "This is not first time I hear your voice."
"I love you," Shane said irritably, "do not light that thing or I'll throw up."
Ilya's breath caught. "You do not know me. You do not love me yet."
"I do," Shane said stubbornly. Then he stuck out his hand, "I'm Shane Hollander."
With a smirk, Ilya took his hand. "Ilya Rozanov."
Shane didn't let his hand go. He held firm and Ilya didn't try to pull away.
"There, now we know each other. I love you. Kiss me."
"Shane. I have to go back. It is no good there if we..."
"I know. Mom read me a bunch of articles," Shane said with a shrug. "But there's no one else out here. Kiss here. Everything else later. Okay?"
"Okay," Ilya said.
They kissed in that terrible parking lot and Shane never wanted it to end. He pulled away with a soft sigh.
"Wow."
"Wow," Ilya repeated teasingly. "You will say this when we beat you too."
"Not happening," Shane laughed. He was still holding Ilya's hand, a circuit completed.
When Shane got back in the car, his mother asks, "How did it go?"
Shane has a number in his pocket and a promise for a mirror meeting tonight once Ilya's roommate goes to sleep that makes his ears burn.
"He's kind of an asshole," Shane said, delighted.
"Okay," his mother laughed. "I can't wait to meet him."
And it's not that it's easy. Ilya goes to Boston and Shane goes to Montreal. They will have years before they see each other more in person than through reflections. But when Ilya gets ready for game 7 of the Cup, he does it with Shane smoldering with lusty jealousy from twelve inches away. And when it's Shane's turn, Ilya wears his jersey alone in the privacy of his house so Shane can see it before he heads off to victory.
Even years later, when they're married and more often before a mirror together than trying to communicate through them, sometimes they do it anyway. If Shane is washing his hands, ready to go back out to a photoshoot, he'll look up to find Ilya flirting with him or holding up Anya to make her wave at him.
There is always a handprint on their mirrors.
Sometimes they are apart, but they are rarely alone.