____heart knows,

From now on this is how all petty fandom disputes should be settled.

Y'all. "Hell is empty and the devil's are here" is not one of those epic Tumblr quotes. It's from The Tempest. The Shakespeare one.

remember when that furry post went around with "you have nothing to lose but your chains" and people were saying "this is such a raw ass line and it's from a furry post" but it's literally karl marx

reading waiting for godot for class and finding out that’s where that “that’s how it is on this bitch of an earth” meme is from ruined me i think

new game: "classic or shitpost?" in which we give you a raw-ass quote and you have to determine whether it came from an internet shitpost or classic literature

"I will face god and walk backward into hell" that one on the other hand is actually from a dril tweet

You see it's quite simple: if they call the earth Gaia, it's fantasy. If they call it Terra, that's sci-fi

If there's one vampire, it's horror. If there's 100+ and they have politics, it's urban fantasy.

Oh, and we need to build a penis. How? No fucking clue, use whatever we've got lying around. We're going to have to McGyver the fuck out of this dick.

Okay, now I get why some people believe in spirits and shit, that little tiny wind vortex looked like a CREATURE.

yeah you think 'djinn are creatures of wind and fire....how poetic! how mystical!' and then you find out that the middle east has had oil leaks for thousands of years and the brightest scientists of two thousand years ago WOULD have been able to watch a little spinning critter of wind and flame go skittering around right in front of them. and you're like, Oh.

This should be a statue. We need more statues showing kindness and companionship to cats.

do you think he knows

What I find really astonishing isn’t that a giant land snail managed to earn a doctorate, but that he managed to land a national TV spot despite displaying this kind of egregious, disrespectful behaviour towards his co-host.

#for god’s sake dr. fisher #get off the poor man’s face #you’re a snail of science #act like it

[Still: a giant snail on a man’s face, caption “Dr. Brian Fisher, California Academy of Sciences”]

Okay I looked it up and they all went to a foster home together because nobody wanted to separate them thank god

lukewarm take but i personally do not give a shit if poor people cheat a system that was designed to fail them anyways. i also coincidentally do not enjoy the taste of boot rubber

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

#this is team skull

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?” He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

Oh no a new one!!!

Blessed post.

I used to work at this stable for icelandic horses and every now and then this man would turn up by the field to just watch the horses. One time I walked by him as I was going to get the horses inside, and he went ”I always wanted to learn how to ride but I’m afraid of horses because they’re so huge. If I could ride ponies like this, maybe I’d dare but now I’m too big and heavy for them.” You should have seen his face when I told them that actually they’re not ponies, just small horses and they could totally carry him. His face just lit up. Next thing I’m helping him to get on back. Today he knows how to ride.

A few years ago my sister and I were in Daytona Beach, and we saw this huge, burly biker. Looked like the stereotypical biker: big black beard, the goggles, leather, and a bandana. He also had a baby carrier, and in that baby carrier was a tiny little orange Pomeranian. We complimented his dog and he said, in one of the deepest voices I’ve ever heard, “thanks, his name’s Little Bear!” And he told us about how he’d take Little Bear out on his motorcycle everyday and how much the dog loved it.

Such a lovely post.

I’m not even putting this in the museum, it shall run free and collect more lovely stories.