don't eat the chili

all my bros become hoes at the appointment of success🙂‍↕️

laying an egg hard and loud

will the person who tagged this “stephen colbert” please approach the bench.

imagine getting first chair in the band in whiplash and being like fuckkk now i have to sit near the drummer who’s always sweating and spitting and crying and bleeding everywhere

3.5 stars. the thinking man's 5 stars

play stupid games win aweswome toys

we need to periodically remind everyone that a headline not including a person's name isn't an attempt to erase their identity from the narrative, it's just not good practice to put someone's name in a headline unless the reader can be expected to already know who they are

"if you can say the name in the article why can't you say the name in the headline?" what do you think a headline is for

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

the morbius jokes got stale fast but sony misunderstanding them and rereleasing the movie only to cause it to lose even more money was an all timer moment. we couldnt recreate that situation if we tried

MESSAGE TO ALL SICKOS: LIVE FOREVER