power poison pain and joy

hounds of love / jj & alice

Alice couldn’t hear anything else, because JJ had loved her. He still loved her. He never stopped loving her. It was all real. It had been easier for her logical brain to put him down as a liar, but it was real. She wanted it all back again, because now every single moment of theirs now seemed to be soaked in honey, not lemon. Everything was sweet again, not sour. They could still be together right now, but something had happened. She had a thousand questions still and so she didn’t let herself melt in the honey right there and then, she kept staring at JJ with a determination so he didn’t know how he stopped her hearing with those words. “But… why? Why then?” 

She almost wished she hadn’t asked for more. 

“Matt…?” Her voice was so small as she interrupted him with no intention of stopping him speaking. She had only talked about JJ twice in front of Matt. The first being when she told him about JJ, the second being right after they broke up. “But… but…” It never occured to her that he approached JJ about them, but, of course, Matt was lying about not knowing him at that time and he knew him very well indeed. She hated that he consoled her after being the one to crush her heart. JJ loved her. Despite everything, Alice wanted to believe that was true. She wanted to believe that the beautiful, charming Jane was nothing compared to her, but all she felt was shock right now. Shock and a want to believe every word out of his mouth, because it felt like hope. 

Again, Alice had never even thought that the truth behind Matt’s murder could be tied in with her story with JJ until now. Everything was connected. And she hated that. She shook her head wildly and ran both hands through her hair, almost trying to muffle the words that he was saying. She didn’t just want what JJ was saying to be true, she needed it to be. If Matt died because of her, because of JJ’s apparent love for her, then she would hate herself forever. It didn’t matter what Matt had done, she was the guilty party. JJ didn’t do it, he didn’t do it, he didn’t do it. She had to believe that for her own sanity. 

“Jay, I…” She breathed so hard through her mouth that she thought the world could hear her. She stared at him so directly, but without as much anger as before because she didn’t have the strength for that. “How am I supposed to be believe you?” She yelled it out of frustration. She was overwhelmed by the honesty JJ decided to show her right now that maybe it wasn’t true. However she also couldn’t help but believe him and the way he said it. This could just be Jane and JJ’s little plan to use Alice’s love for him against her, but she also knew JJ wasn’t like that. “I need to… I need to know you didn’t do it and that it’s nothing to with you or me. I need to, so do something or swear on something, I just…” 

JJ’s chest was heaving as he simply stared at Alice, misty eyed and terrified. He had just relinquished any semblance of control over his fate to her, for the sake of his love. They were both quiet for a moment as everything between them that had gone unsaid for months had finally been laid out in front of them like the blanket they used to lay on during sunny summer afternoons. At the sound of Alice calling him “Jay,” he felt his shoulders relax slightly and the little breath he hadn’t realized he’d even been holding escape. JJ opened his mouth to speak, to say something else to solidify in her that everything he’d just poured out to her was the complete truth, but was quickly cut short by her yell. “Alice, I promise -” He was shaking his head wildly, his eyes wide. He didn’t know what else to do to prove to her, or anyone else for that matter, that he was innocent. He had no proof, no alibi. All he had was the hope that her attentiveness, the love she had for him that must still be there, keeping her from storming off to the cops - was proof that deep down she would believe him.

JJ’s eyes were locked on Alice’s face and in that moment there were no other thoughts in his head but her - no Jane, no Matt, no case, just the girl that he had not stopped thinking about since the first time he saw her in the library. Without any other thought, just Alice’s words hanging between them, JJ closed the small gap between them and took her face in his hands, kissing her like he could heal all of the harm he’d caused her, like he could go back in time and change all of the fuck ups that led to him breaking Alice Banks’ heart. 

All he had left was the hope that it would be enough. 

JJ pulled away with a breathless sigh, his thumbs rubbing gently against her cheeks out of habit. The next words left him in a whisper as he pulled away enough to look into her eyes. “I’m sorry, I just- I promise, Al. I know I messed up, but I am telling you everything I know.” 

hounds of love / jj & alice

The stark contrast tonight compared with the day they ended it was so apparent as JJ spoke. Well, firstly, he was talking and he didn’t do much of that on that day. Strangely, he sounded more certain about what he wanted tonight than he did last year when he broke up with her, but she didn’t wanted to believe any of it? How could she? Months and months had passed of her hoping and waiting for him to reach out to her and tell him he had made a huge mistake, even after him and Jane started to date, but he was doing it all now? 

The logical part of her brain, and really the only part she should be listening to, knew that he was saying this all now, because he knew how he had come across last time they had spoken. But… 

He was promising her all the things she had wanted to know all this time. Alice was always someone with answers, but when it came to JJ all she ever had was questions. And so she let him continue speaking and speaking until he told her he wanted to do better. She wanted him to do better too. She wanted to have hope where he was concern. 

“I…” She wet her lips and continued to look at him, stuck between what she should say and what she wanted to say. Stuck between asking about what happened the night Matt died and the day he broke her heart. Why was she suddenly so small and weak? “You’re right - you did hurt me. You hurt me more than anyone had done before and I do want to know why you ended it? You said you kept things from me and you lied to yourself…” 

She breathed deeply, finally tearing her eyes from him as she had recently learnt her emotional abilities and knew she could cry any moment now. 

“Does that mean you lied to me too?” 

Standing up from the swing, she walked a little away, but standing firmly facing him still. She had chosen the weak option in asking him all this and was stopping herself from getting vital information in her investigation, but she felt selfish in front of JJ. She felt love. She felt pain. They were confusing feelings to have in the midst of all this grief. 

“I mean you did lie, right? You told me you loved me and then two weeks later, you don’t want me anymore. And I - why did you say you love me? I believed that.” She buried her face in her hands to wipe at her tears before looking up again, but not searching for his eyes now. She said a little stronger, a little louder, “I know I should be over all this and I have bigger things to be upset about,” Her voice wobbled. “But you hurt me and then you went with Jane? So you telling me you were lying to yourself and you want to make it up to me… Well, take back the library, take back kissing me, take back the nights in your car, just take everything back, because I think it was all a lie and it just hurts.” She finally looked toward him, new tears forming. “It really hurts.” 

JJ looked up at Alice as she spoke, already feeling his gut wrenching at the sound of her voice wavering. It hurt him to see her hurt, to know that he was the reason she was hurt, to finally be confronted with all the pain he’d caused her over something he didn’t want to do. He ended the best thing he’d ever had in his life, the most pure love he’d ever felt, the most beautiful and kind person he’d ever held for Matt Banks, and now the prick wasn’t even around for any of it to matter. All JJ could do was nod sadly as Alice spoke the guilty thoughts that had played through his head for months. “I know, I kn-” 

He froze at her question, watching for a moment in panic as Alice stood from beside him and walked away from him. When she finally faced him again, her stare seemed to hold every emotion at once - anger, sadness, confusion - he deserved every glare, every confrontation, everything Alice needed to throw his way to get back at him for breaking her heart, he deserved all of it. 

“No, no, I-” JJ shook his head fervently, holding his hands in front of them and waving them slightly. “No, Al. That’s not what I meant. I mean - I did lie, you’re right, but not about loving you. That was never a lie. I did love you, I do love you, Alice. I never stopped, but -” JJ breathed out heavily through his nose, preparing himself to be as open as he had been about anything since the day he told Alice he loved her. “Everything we did, everything we had, it was all real. I meant everything I said to you up until that last day in the park. I had to end things, I didn’t have a choice and the only way I could get myself to do that was to do what I did that day. I tried to convince myself I was over you, so it would be easier to end things, but I should never have done it...” 

JJ stood from the swing but remained distanced from Alice as he continued. “Okay. You’re not going to like this, but I promise it’s the truth, Al...” He sighed and squeezed his eyes closed, shaking his head. “Matt hated that we were together, he didn’t want me anywhere near you... And when I saw him for a pickup after he found out about us, he was really fucking angry. He told me if I didn’t end things, that he would go to the cops with proof that I was working for Owen.” JJ sighed and shook his head, running a hair nervously through his hair. “I was a coward, Alice... I was scared and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t tell you because it was my word against your brother’s, you know? So I did what he said, and I ended things...” JJ’s eyes were tearing up and he reached up with the back of his hand to wipe at his cheek. “I should have been honest with you and told you a long time ago, but I was nothing but a coward... And Jane...” He sighed. “I had a casual thing with her last year, but when I met you I knew that there was nothing really there between Jane and I... That I didn’t feel like I did with you, around her. So I ended things with her after that day in the library.” JJ looked down, kicking at the dead grass beneath his foot. “I felt lost after breaking up with you, Alice. I didn’t know what to do, and so I went back to Jane, to try to convince myself that I was over you.” He sniffled slightly and shrugged. “Jane is kind and caring, but she’s not you, Al. She’s never replaced you.” He let out a breath and stepped closer. “And I know this is a lot and I should have told you ages ago, or should have never ended things at all, but I was an idiot. And I’ve regretted it everyday since then.”

JJ took another tentative step closer to Alice, knowing the last part of this story that he needed to say. “And about New Year’s Eve. I need to tell you everything, because I know that this makes me sound guilty, but I promise, Al. I don’t know what happened to your brother that night. I was sent by Owen to meet your brother at the petrol station, because he owed him a lot of money and was asking for more drugs.” He winced, knowing that all of this was too much for Alice to take in. “I got there and he was really drunk already and had more drinks on him, I pushed him a bit, telling him that we needed the money he owed before he’d get anything else from us.” JJ’s jaw tensed slightly, this was the information that could break him. “That made him really angry, and he made a comment about me and you... Something about how much better off you were without me, and I lost it.” JJ shook his head. “We got into a fight, but he nearly knocked me out, that’s where all the bruises came from.” The next breath left his mouth shakily. “Matt walked off towards the farm and Owen had to come get me. I went home and everyone else went to that party Rory was having. I was so messed up I slept the rest of the night.” JJ looked up at Alice earnestly and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Alice. I know this was a lot, but I needed to tell you. I promise it’s the entire truth - I don’t want to hide anything from you ever again.” 

hounds of love / jj & alice

It was hard to ignore the fact that the last time they were here, Alice hadn’t even been able to sit down on the swing as he had broken her heart before she could even take a seat. This place had just brought her sadness for so long and now it seemed JJ just wanted to remind her of all the pain. It was even harder to pretend that she wouldn’t meet him whenever he asked her to. She was incapable of saying no to seeing his beautiful face. Maybe she was more of a masochist than she originally thought she was. 

She looked at him with her tongue stuck in her cheek as he said he wanted to apologise. God, she didn’t want to be, but he was pulling her in. She was still trapped in a place where she wanted him to give what she thought she deserved so badly. She should be over it already, but what did he want to apologise for? Her eyes must have been lasering through his skin, as he started speaking. Disappointment washed over her like a familiar wave of what JJ gave her as he only apologised for the last time they spoke - what about the time before that? 

“Well, I was asking you for a lot about Matt and I do appreciate you answering my questions.” She sucked in air as she considered not saying the next thing, but she had to let him know. “However, it probably wasn’t the time to bring up those things about us, especially as you had months before to do that.” 

The apology felt a little hollow considering what he had done last time he had an opportunity to check in on her. “I’m not doing great.” She said, staring right back at him, so he could see that she really meant it. Her life had fallen apart, but he had gotten her used to pain. “I did think though that if you were ever going to talk to me again it might have been after Matt… I think I was expecting too much, because that’s not really your job anymore, is it?” 

There was something about being here with Alice again, in the place where he broke her heart, and broke his own as well, that made all of the feelings he’d forced himself to bury back in Autumn, rise in him again. This meeting with her quickly became less about Jane’s ultimatum, and more about simply being around Alice. And while that was entirely selfish of JJ to admit to himself, he couldn’t shake the feeling. “I know, believe me, I know and I’m so sorry. I’ve been a coward about all of this - I hurt you and let you down and I understand if you can’t forgive me for that.” He should have ended it there, but the feelings bubbling in him started to pour out of him in that moment, and nothing else really mattered outside of him and Alice being on this swing set together. “I want to try to make it up to you, though... There are so many things I didn’t tell you when I ended things - I lied to myself and I kept things from you and I want to make things right.” 

JJ held Alice’s eye contact, no matter how difficult it was for him to be confronted by the own ways in which he hurt her, the time he allowed to pass when he could have been comforting her, the information he’d withheld from her for his own protection. He nodded along with her words and took a deep breath, shaking his head at her final sentence. “No, I should have. I was just being... I was being an idiot.” JJ sighed and looked down at his lap. That really was such a lame excuse. “I understand if you choose not to believe this, or don’t want to trust me, really, I do. But I just want you to know that I want to be here for you. I know it’s late and I’ve messed up and I should have been doing this months ago. But I want to be open and honest with you and let you ask me the things you didn’t get a chance to ask me... about last time we spoke, or before that. I promise I will be completely honest with you, Al. I want to do better.” 

hounds of love / jj & alice

It was a surprise for Alice to receive a text from JJ to meet. She hadn’t expected him to reach out to her and thought she would have to be chasing him again in order to get more information. Maybe he realise he told her too much or too little in order to make himself look suspicious, because he did. He looked so suspicious right now to her. However her stomach still did flips not just because she was going to find out more about whether he did the unthinkable or not, but because she still had painful feelings for him and seeing him hurt regardless of a potential murder. 

They were meeting in the park after dark. She kept a key sharp in the space between the fingers, but as soon as she saw JJ was already there waiting for her on a swing, she released the key - something told her still that she was safe around him. It was why she didn’t tell anyone where she was going at 9pm, why she didn’t say who she was seeing and why she just went, no questions asked. She trusted her safety with him. That and her painful feelings for him were the only things she trusted about him now. 

“Hi,” She approached quietly, alerting him he was there with her muffled greeting. She joined him on the swings, focusing on moving herself forwards and backwards a little instead of her wildly beating heart. “I agreed to this because I have things to ask you about as well. You start though. Why did you want to meet?” 

Meeting with Alice had been the last thing JJ wanted to do, the last yet also the first in a strange way. The last time they’d spoken, although it had gone terribly, it left JJ missing how things were before - when it was Summertime, he had Alice, and a meeting between them on the swings in the park was nothing more than sharing music, laughter, and kissing. He’d do anything to go back to that. 

Now, as he sat on the swingset they’d always met at over the Summer, everything had changed. Jane had forced him into this situation, and while he was strangely looking forward to seeing Alice again, even though he knew she probably hated him, he’d dragged his feet on reaching out to her. What the fuck was there to say, anyway? He’d already fucked up and told her too much, he couldn’t take it away now. All he had was Jane’s confidence in him, although that was quickly waning now, and a clear face. He felt a bit more like himself, or at least the version of him that he’d become since making the mistake of breaking Alice Banks’ heart. Since that day in August, he hadn’t really felt sure of himself or his identity at all. Being in the middle of the murder investigation didn’t help it at all. 

He rocked back and forth on the swing gently, watching his shoes scrape against the worn down dirt beneath them, the stillness of the night feeling comforting and suffocating all at once. He heard a soft greeting and looked up, giving a small smile in return. “Hey, thanks for meeting me like this.” JJ watched as Alice sat down beside him, and for the briefest moment it felt like old times, though of course it wasn’t. He looked down that that sharp realization, taking in her words with a nod. He’d just have to be more careful this time with what he said to her. “I just wanted to talk after last time, and apologize.” He ran a hand through his hair as the other remained on the handle of the swing. “I was horrible to you last time we spoke, and I’m really sorry Al - Alice. I bombarded you with a lot and put you in an uncomfortable position and you didn’t deserve that.” He nearly added that he had been in a bad place or had been feeling tense, but he could hear Jane’s voice in his head telling him not to be an idiot. “I also just wanted to check in with you and see how you were doing. I’m -” He sighed and looked back down at the dirt. “I should have been checking in on you, for a long time now, but especially now with everything happening. I’m sorry.” He looked over at her with regretful eyes. 

positions / jjj

Settled that she had convinced him this was a good idea, she nodded her head firmly with a brighter face. “We’re always partying, it’s more normal than what we’re doing now. I wouldn’t say it if it wouldn’t help you.”

How much love poured out of her mouth and in her actions during this walk, these past few weeks, and what was pouring out of JJ’s mouth were words of betrayal, disgust, Alice… Fucking little Alice. She didn’t say anything, no, she couldn’t say anything as JJ kept talking and talking, but her hands were shaking, her body was shaking, her head was spinning. She paced the small path, hearing more abusive words hurling at her. How the fuck could she have landed up with this stupid boy? She had been doing everything, everything, for him to protect him and he wasn’t even protecting himself. With the last question leaving his mouth, Jane couldn’t hold herself together anymore. She stopped pacing, turned her chin upwards towards him, stared at his stupid face and slapped him across it. 

“You idiot!” She bit out, pushing his arm a little bit. “Ughhhhhhh JJ! What the fuck are you talking about?” Fingers were splayed in the air, curling up into tiny little angry fists raging about her head. “You let Alice see you like this? The sister of the dead man? Just hear you’re fucking self speak, my God!” She let out an irrirtated scream. “She’s not an idiot, she saw your face, she would figure out you always spend time with Owen and Owen was revealed as the drug dealer. God, and you told her things? JJ… what were you… thinking? Or has your brain just been on holiday since New Year’s?” 

She massaged her temples, really attempting to calm herself down so she didn’t strangle her boyfriend. “Robin knows from Alice not the other way around, so Alice has told people. You have to sort out this mess. Speak to Alice, say whatever you need to get her not to tell anyone else. She could go to the police, JJ? And why wouldn’t she? Loyalty to her ex boyfriend or her brother? Wonder what she’ll pick.” She stared JJ down. “You talk to her or I tell Owen all about you two and what she knows now.”

JJ had known Jane would be livid, and he knew she had every reason to be. He was an idiot and had fucked up, so when she screamed this much at him, he just shook his head, his mouth dropping open as if he would defend himself at any moment. He didn’t though. “I know, I know. I fucked up, J. I panicked, yeah? I-” JJ groaned kicking the ground beneath him. “Fuck!” He shouted, pulling at his hair with his hands until it was sticking up wildly around his face. 

Jane continued to explain all of the ways this entire situation could and most likely would blow up in JJ’s face if he didn’t act quickly and smartly. He nodded erratically, and looked back up at Jane when she gave him an ultimatum. Shit. He really did not want to drag Alice into this anymore than she already had been, but at the same time, he could control things on his end much better if Owen stayed in the dark about his relationship with Alice. So he shook his head dumbfoundedly and sighed. “Alright. I’ll talk to her, I’ll figure everything out.” Then, his thoughts quickly turned to the conversation he’d had with Owen before he was taken into custody. Witnesses - that girl from the petrol station. Keira. JJ knew damn well that he didn’t have a leg to stand on or any leverage working in his favor to ask Jane for this favor, aside from her love for him, but he had no other choice. “I will talk to Alice, I promise. I just, I need one other thing from you, J.” He sighed and shook his head, running his hand through his hair nervously. “That night, there was a girl working at the petrol station that saw the fight I got into with Matt. Her name’s Keira. I have to make sure that she doesn’t have any reason to go to the cops with what she saw that night. Can you please talk to her for me? There is no way I’ll make that situation any better by going to her myself.” He stared into her eyes in desperation, cautiously reaching a hand out to take hers. “Please, Jane.”

positions / jjj

Being so attuned to JJ, as soon as he stopped walking, she knew he didn’t like it. He didn’t like any of this at all. He stopped walking, so she did as well. “It’s a great idea, JJ. We didn’t really know Matt and enough time has gone by to be respectful.” He started walking again, so she did as well. There wasn’t enough time for her to properly react to his joke, as he was stressed over the issue again. “Charlie’s part of this with us… she’s getting Owen out, right?” She knew this conversation was heading towards nothing but paranoia and despair, so she readied herself to be the boat JJ needed to get to safety. And then he stopped walking and stopped her too. 

“JJ,” She carefully took his face in both of her hands, forcing him to look at her calm face. It was only calm in front of him, because she was like a duck under water. “This is what I can do to help you. I’ve been posting photos on my insta story to make it look like you’re normal, no bruises, and that was smart, right? Now you need to show your face, act like you have nothing to hide. It’ll be a small party, I promise, and Robin…” She trailed off, sighing, because maybe now was the best time to bring this up. 

“About Robin. I think she’s heard something about you, like a rumour about you being Matt’s dealer. I don’t know how, would you? She’s already suspicious, so you can’t hide away anymore, but I’m here and you have to trust me.” 

JJ looked into Jane’s eyes, allowing her to cradle his face and explain away his concerns. He nodded. “Yeah, yeah you’re right. Okay, yeah this is a good thing, then. And it’ll seem like a normal thing for us to do, right?” He nodded again, as if the movement solidified that yes, it is the normal thing to do, and yes, everything will be fine. 

But then Robin was mentioned, and he immediately knew why. Alice. 

Shit. He avoided the question for a moment to save himself the smallest amount of time, “I do trust you, more than anyone else.” He hesitated. He had to face her question or she would demand an answer. “And, uh, I do think I know how she could have heard rumours...” JJ sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck. Jane, okay. I didn’t tell you this because I was worried about what could happen and then you came round and I didn’t want to ruin the moment or anything, but Alice came to the flat last week.” He continued talking rapidly, wanting to put out any information that would help smooth things over with Jane, before she had a chance to react. “It was when my face was still really bad and she was asking questions and I tried to cover my ass by being vague but then it made her even more suspicious.” JJ shook his head. “Alice didn’t know Matt did drugs before that, I never told her that, but when she came round she seemed to already know that he was buying from Owen and that I might have something to do with it, too.” He looked at Jane, trying to find any way to redirect the conversation. “Do you think she could have heard that from your sister?”

positions / jjj

There was something that tugged at Jane’s heartstrings as she saw him be able to make a joke despite everything that was going on, had gone on, in his life. When she had decided that JJ had to be hers, she understood part of the reason was that she wanted to be the reason in someone’s life why they got out of bed, why they were happy to be alive. And she felt like she was that for JJ. It made her happy back. Playfully hitting him once he stopped kissing her and laughing as if he was the funniest thing she had ever seen, she stroked her hand down to catch his own hand in hers. “Well, you know, if you were a vampire, you would definitely bite me a lot harder.” She raised an eyebrow cheekily for extra impact. “Like this,” She rapidly moved, jumping up to pretend to bite at his neck, but moving away at the last moment in even bigger laughter. 

All of a sudden she was blushing, like an apple in the middle of summer, like she had applied a shade of red blush instead of the peachy neutral shade she wore. “I did put a little bit of effort to look this beautiful, but only a little.” She squeezed his hand and as they began to walk, it felt like a good time to mention her plan to return to normality. “I’m going to throw a party on Friday. Mum’s away and I think the village needs to stop being so fucking depressing. Also, I think it’s smart for you to now start returning to looking normal. Well, more normal.” 

The laugh that left Jane was enough to settle the residual nerves JJ was feeling after leaving Charlie’s. In fact, they had completely dissipated by the time Jane made her own vampire joke, causing him to erupt in a laugh that matched hers. He kissed her then, so grateful for her calming and protective presence in this moment. She was his and he was hers, and nothing would change that - would it?

JJ smiled at Jane again and they turned to begin walking. He stopped for a second when a party was mentioned, hesitating slightly, wishing that the carefree feeling . “I don’t know... Do you think that’s such a good idea, J?” She was justifying away all of his hesitations, and he nodded slightly at the mention of looking normal. JJ began walking again. “More normal?” He smirked at her, then looked forward again and shook his head. “Are you sure about this? You know, I’ve just spoken to Charlie and she made some cryptic comments about what I got up to that night... And I can’t really sort anything until Owen’s out, you know?” He was talking rapidly now, feeling like he’d just been thrown back into the state he was in a week ago - suspicious, uneasy, and meant to be hidden away where the world couldn’t observe him. JJ sighed, turning back to Jane and stopping them both. “Shit. Okay. Just promise me that this will be a small party, yeah? Like no randos coming up to ask about Matt. And your sister, she won’t be there, right?” He knew he was sounding paranoid, and searching for promises that Jane most likely wouldn’t be able to keep, but he needed the false reassurance that she would.

positions / jjj

After Jane’s conversation with Robin on Friday, she had fully intended on interrogating JJ about why there was a rumour going around about him being the murderer, but as she got to the door, his key being pulled tightly against her neck, she changed her mind. He had only just started considering leaving this stupid flat and a mention to people talking about him would only push him further into darkness. The smartest thing for him to do right now was to act like nothing had happened. She had decided to sit on this information until it might actually help, not hinder, him. And knowing that it might actually be his own stupid fault that caused this, made the keeping quiet much, much harder. 

A few days had passed since then and they were actually meeting in the open. It was just a walk down some backroads in the village, but it was an improvement. Careful consideration had been given to her outfit, to look like she was just a regular girl and that it was something she had throw together - jeans, oversized jumper and boots that weren’t perfectly polished for once. Her hair was in a double dutch braid ponytail and it flicked satisfyingly whenever she walked. Standing up from the bench she had been sitting on waiting on him, she felt a flutter in her chest at the sight of him. He was getting stronger by being outside, looking healthier. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and kissed the length of his jaw, “Hello, boyfriend,” She moved her mouth to purr into his ear, like the delicate cat she was. “Welcome back to the real world.” 

“Fuck,” JJ muttered under his breath, Charlie’s door already shut behind him. He clenched his fists to control the restlessness that had settled in his bones the moment he set his sights on speaking to her, and had only managed to grow more and more out of control the longer he spoke with her. She would get Owen out, he always knew she would, but once Owen was free, what would keep her from coming after him? He had already said too much to Alice, and that girl at the petrol station that night, Keira, what had she seen? What proof could she hold against him? With Owen in custody and Charlie on the prowl, he craved Jane, needed her, not only to help him out, but to calm him down. He’d texted her to meet up, knowing that she’d jump at the opportunity to see him outside of his cramped flat for the first time in weeks. 

JJ had been careful to stick to backroads on his way to Charlie’s and again when he left to see Jane, his face was nearly healed but with tensions growing throughout the village, and within himself, he couldn’t afford to take any chances. He had never cared much for the outdoors, always moving around from home to home as a kid, he never had a reason to. This day, however, despite the overcast sky and biting chill, it felt refreshing to be in the open. A breath escaped JJ that he hadn’t even known he’d been holding at seeing Jane waiting for him. He smiled at her, a genuine smile, no longer needing to keep up appearances. His arms wrapped around her waist as she threw hers around him and kissed him. JJ glanced around for a moment after she pulled away, squinting as if the nonexistent sun was too bright. “I’ve spent so much time inside, aren’t you afraid I’ve become a vampire or something? I might bite, you know...” He trailed off, leaning down to kiss her neck, biting gently to prove his point, then punctuating this with a kiss on her lips. “The real world is shit. I have missed seeing you in natural light though, you’re beautiful.” 

best interest | charlie + jj

With the declaration that this was important, she searched the heavens for care for JJ and Owen’s new mess, but JJ was unable to see this action as her back was turned to lead the way to her living room. She sat very straight, watching Nemesis with a curious smile, as JJ seemed incredibly uncomfortable with this whole situation. 

As he continued to speak, the reality of what he was doing here began to slowly dawn on her. Releasing Nike to the floor, she remained to sit up as straight as possible but nodded her head in quick successions to alert JJ to the fact that she was taking it in and didn’t need him to say anything else. She needed to take that small bombshell in - she thought it wouldn’t come to this. He continued to speak though and she wrung her hands in her lap in such a subtle manner that hopefully, he didn’t see the distress he was causing. Owen was arrested. She was to blame if he stayed in there. Who knew exactly what Owen would do to her if she refused to do what he wanted/needed right now? If she acted like that was the only reason she would be the stupid alibi, would it be a lie? Yes, he was her boyfriend at the end of the day. 

She cleared her throat before responding, calming her thoughts of ‘what if they still don’t believe me and then I am seen as the lying girlfriend for the rest of my life?’ She would have to provide some substantial proof for her own sanity. 

“Ah, of course, he chose his faithful servant to convince me.” A fake, plastered-on smile appeared on her face as she finally spoke up. A small laugh filled with zero humour escaped her. “As I was recently informed, he did see Matt that night, so it does look like he might have something to do with it, even if he didn’t do it. To speak with such confidence about him, considering you disappeared that night and you don’t know where he went and what he did that night? A truly faithful servant.” She gave a minuscule shake of her head, wondering why she had never considered with much regard where JJ had gone that night. It didn’t seem important at the time - Owen and JJ were always disappearing, especially at parties. “Care is a strong word, but I know you’re saying it will be my fault if he doesn’t get out, so I know what needs to be done.” 

In true Charlie fashion, she let a long, dramatic, and much uncomfortable pause linger between the two of them long after the final word left JJ’s mouth. He could feel his leg begin to bounce slightly as he attempted to suppress the anxiety that was bubbling through him. Charlie was perhaps the most important person in making sure he and Owen stayed as far out of involvement with this case as possible at the moment, aside from Keira and therefore Jane, and he knew that power could be lethal if she intended for it to be. JJ couldn’t let on how desperate he was for Owen to be helped, because he knew Charlie would pick up on how suspicious he might seem if he was too keen. 

As if sensing this, Charlie finally broke the silence with a loaded comment about both Owen and his involvement with things that night, and he knew that while she would help Owen, because like JJ, Owen had plenty of things to hold against Charlie, she wouldn’t have the same loyalty to JJ if the topic arose. So, he simply nodded, deciding that the less he spoke, the better. “It’s just, really important that he gets released, especially since you can be his alibi.” He felt like he might explode if he stayed any longer - the perfumed candles, the thick drapery, the cats - it all felt completely foreign to JJ and he was beginning to feel suffocated. “Well, I guess I should be going then... Thanks Charlie. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” He began to stand up, hoping that it would be a clean and easy out and he could go back to his cat-free flat where no one would be asking him questions and he could continue to hide away like he’d spent the past week doing. 

JJ had paced around his flat in an uncontrolled panic after hearing Owen’s voicemail. Fuck. We are absolutely fucked. He had known immediately that he would somehow have to convince Charlie to step up for Owen, he owed him that much. Now, as he walked up the street toward Charlie’s house, he thought back to the last conversation he’d had with Owen. You help me out and then I’ll help you. JJ hadn’t even considered the possibility of letting Owen take the fall for this, they’d always had each other’s backs, and he knew if he could do this for Owen then he’d have his ass covered when the cops inevitably turned their attention to him - he’d do anything in his power to convince Charlie, but he’d have to be smart about it. She didn’t particularly care for JJ, or many people, for that matter - so he needed to show her that this would be in her best interest.

His face was nearly healed now - he had only the faintest bruise near his eye, so he vetoed Jane’s concealer idea, hopeful that Owen’s comment about no one noticing anything out of the ordinary would ring true. He’d showered up and dressed decently as well, trying to rule out any possibility of Charlie finding a reason to completely disregard him. JJ was grateful to see Charlie’s car as the only one in the drive, and approached the door, taking a breath to stay calm before knocking. He ran a hand through his hair as the door opened, looking at her with a sincere yet slightly distressed smile. “Hey Charlie, hope I’m not interrupting anything? We need to talk... It’s about Owen.” Despite his best attempts to remain completely calm, the words left his mouth with urgence. 

@charliehops​