"You might be wondering how I got into this situation. Well, I fucking love punching."

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@jiamthree
"You might be wondering how I got into this situation. Well, I fucking love punching."

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Didn't you retweet incest porn on 9/11?
we all mourn in different ways
This tweet read me to filth
@varosesvadon 😍
okay let's make another cake 🎂🎂
butter
sugar
eggs
flour
milk
baking powder
vanilla extract
please, dear audience, fill this out. for science

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this sounds like a party to me
teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek
fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"
I am sooo tempted to get Warhammer books as french translations, read them as my way to start re-learning french with a translator at one hand and a dictionary at the other, and develop zero grasp between what vocabulary is regular french and what is Warhammer, and if I ever encounter a native speaker I give them psychic damage.
“Tourist talks in passable French but sounds like a Space Marine” would probably be a new one for Parisians
Would it be better or worse than orks? Or better yet, necrons?
tapping the sign preemptively
Not to be rhe ten millionth person to say “USAmerican President Donald Trump Is An Incoherent Public Speaker Whose Train Of Thought Can Be Best Described As Scat Jazz” but I just remembered that when he talks at international events it is several dozen people’s job to translate what he’s saying and what he intends to say to world leaders in real time
And I desperately wish to hear how they do it
If anyone reading this isn’t fluent enough in English to understand the sentences that man says, please know that he has essentially mixed a number of adjectives and topics together in a hat and is pulling them out at random like a horrible children’s game
Like that waxy jaundiced bitch will straight up be like “J'étais sur internet l'autre jour – internet, la plus grande invention américaine. Et la Chine a “internet aussi. Pas un bon internet, pas comme le mien, j'ai un internet formidable. Les gens me disent : « Donald, ton internet est génial ! » On adore l'internet de Donald. Mais la Chine… Chine, Chine, Chine… Vous savez qu'ils mangent des oiseaux ? C'est terrible. J'adore les oiseaux. La Chine mange des oiseaux. Pas comme nous. Pas comme mes oiseaux. Mais vous savez, c'est comme ça, et c'est terrible. Mais voilà ce que je vais faire : je vais sauver les oiseaux. Je vais sauver internet et sauver les oiseaux. Tous ces magnifiques oiseaux. Pour l'Amérique. Et la Chine va nous détester pour ça. Ils vont nous détester parce qu'on est les meilleurs sur oiseaux”. And people will lose their minds
International translators have had this problem for A While - if they *don't* clean up what he says to sound coherent, they look like they're doing a bad job.
Explore Trump translation challenges, tips for interpreters, and 2025 strategies for accurate political translation and Trumpslation success
oh my god
There was a scandal in Poland because one translator decided to translate him accurately, tone, vocabulary level and word salad tangents and all. Polish conservatives who don't speak English and previously only heard smoothed out translations that sounded coherent and used big words were up in arms about how the translator was "inserting her political agenda", "mocking him", "exaggerating", "purposefully trying to make him look bad" and "incredibly unprofessional". I listened to the translation in question. It was literally just accurate.
5. Sensitive and Controversial Language Trump’s speeches occasionally contain misogynistic, sexist, or inflammatory language. Japanese interpreter Tsuruta, for example, faced challenges when translating sexualized remarks, ultimately opting for standard terminology to maintain professionalism. Similarly, Chinese translator Kumiko Torikai found certain lewd expressions ethically challenging, ultimately leading to her retirement. Navigating these situations requires skillful balancing of accuracy, professionalism, and cultural sensitivity, ensuring that the translation is appropriate without distorting the original intent.
I don't know why the authors of PoliLingua act as if Trump's verbal misogyny and racism wasn't very much part of his "original intent".
it only now dawns on me that millions of people on this planet think Trump is way smarter than he is because translators have neglected to relate his violent speech accurately out of misunderstood politeness. Make the ape sound like a ape
We had a mini-scandal in the German translation/interpretation community last year about exactly this – the interpreter for the inauguration got sick of Trump's incoherence and made a remark into his mic that was not intended to be heard (here's my post on it).

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Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still
Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.
I SAID HOLD STILL
And so the emperor said, "so if I wore these fine garments, any fools in the crowd, being unable to see the garments, would be able to see my dick and balls?"
And one of the two salesmen said "Well, surely, you would not--"
And the emperor continued, "and they would tell everyone what my dick and balls look like? They would proclaim it from the rooftops as, being fools, they would lack the better judgement to know such details would be better kept to themselves? And all the peasants and lords would then know every detail of my aging scrotum?"
"But surely, your highness," the other salesman said, "in your wisdom you can see, with your own eyes, that these silks are of such incredible quality, that such minor embarrassment would be minimal compared to how distinguished you would appear to the worthy?"
The emperor thought on this, considered it deeply, and said, "honestly, not really."
''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.
the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.
Getting up at 6 am IRL: aw fuck it’s so early oh my god
Getting up at 6 am in an rpg: *banging pots and pans together in front of the cobbler’s shop* WAKEY WAKEY THE SUN IS UP I WANT SOME SHOOOOOOOES
customers the same in all universes
this is it. this is the best response i’ve ever received on this post. everyone pack up, go home, we’re done here
Gettin the good ads again

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New bumper sticker 🕺