The alternative to "making your kids do things they don't want to do" is literally "figuring out why they don't want to do it and working with them to find a solution".
maybe the solution is that you explain to them so they understand. maybe you need to have expectations like "I need you to stop doing things ASAP when I ask you to because it might be a safety issue, even if you don't immediately see how it is one, but we will always talk about it afterwards."
but like. it's not "they just never do the thing". you're teaching your kid that nobody owes anybody anything else, and that they will never have to do anything they don't like, and that's neither true, nor healthy, not conducive to any kind of society you should want to live in (it's libertarianism, bud. you're raising libertarians.)
your kids are people, and one of the most valuable skills they can learn is how to have conversations about why things are the way they are, whether they should be that way, what has the potential to change, and how to change it.
if they don't want to say "trick or treat", that's understandable! but do they know why people say that, and how it can be positive? why don't they want to say it; is there a way to make it easier? are there any alternatives they can think of? now that they understand why people say it, maybe they can think of one that fits the situation and their needs!
if your kid isn't listening to people when they're trying to talk, ask why that might be happening. what are the situational factors (other things are distracting them, the person talking is hard to hear or hard to listen to, etc.)? what about the personal factors (they have a hard time focusing for that long)? what strategies can they use to make listening easier- like fidgets, or headphones- and how can others support them in doing so- like reminders, or minimizing distractions?
put the effort in to make it a learning experience! you don't need to force them to do anything, and really, you shouldn't. but giving up on the issue teaches them to give up on these things, when they can in fact be really great opportunities to practice critical thinking, self-regulation, healthy compromise, and coexistence with others.