Anti-jokes and puns

Tumblr? I hardly know 'er! XD

The veil is thick here..... I sense fuck all

*shakily placing my hand on the side of a costco* the spirits here are normal

And now the hairy little bastards never will

kitten I’ll be honest the finality of everything in this world haunts daddy like a second shadow

if you ask me, the guy who put the sword INTO the stone should be king, not the chucklefuck who got it out.

I assume the guy who put the "sword that makes you the king" into the stone, doesn't really want the position

i think the stone should be king since it held the sword the longest

If i was a sickly little peasant boy designated by the aristocracy to carry messages back and forth for pennies and you found me against our citys outer wall with a deep wound in my chest from a musket ball and a letter cluthed in my hand and i told you that my dying wish was to have someone read that letter to me so i would know i died for something important and you open it up and you find a single large illustrated diagram of an onion would you tell me what it was? What would you say?

this is the content I stick around for. you can't find shit like this on twitter.

It's true and ops got a sort of impish charm and a sharp wit to boot

“NAFTER NOON!”

Every. Time. Every single time. I always get so delighted by this picture set. And I always forget what it’s followed up by. And then I see the “NAFTER NOON!” and absolutely lose it. I’m so glad this post exists.

*feels my body get anxious for no reason* what is it boy, what do you see?

there's a stage in sandwich consumption where it's falling to pieces & you're desperately cupping it in your hands & it's like this poor wounded animal that is covered in mustard & wants to die

good morning kings let’s push this boulder

bad news about the boulder everyone

Good morning kings let’s push this boulder

bad news about the boulder everyone

Good morning kings let’s push this boulder

Bad news about the boulder everyone

Good morning kings let’s push this boulder

bad news about the boulder everyone

Good morning kings let’s push this boulder

bad news about the boulder everyone..

Good morning kings let’s push this boulder

bad news about the boulder everyone

Good morning kings let’s push this boulder

bad news about the boulder everyone

Good morning kings let’s push this boulder

bad news about the boulder everyone

Good morning kings let’s push this boulder

bad news about the boulder everone

Good morning kings let’s! push! this! boulder!

bad news about the boulder, everyone

IGNORE HER KINGS LET’S PUSH THIS BOULDER 🔥🔥🔥

bad news about the boulder, everyone…