dumb bitch

Now, I'm sure that I'm not going to say anything that hasn't been touched upon a hundred times already before (probably back when there was a ton of analysis floating around for every episode), but I'm going to share my thoughts anyway. Love diving down the analytical rabbit hole. If anyone read my post about "Big Time Fever", you may recall I delved a bit into how well done the boys' Hollywood Fever Personas are and how they directly reflect each of their insecurities. Basically, it was

James: Like his therapist in the episode says, he's masking his feelings of insecurity behind the tanning spray (obviously). That confidence and self-absorbed attitude is paper-thin, folks!

Logan: Finally gets permission to shed his anxiety and just enjoy life but takes it to an extreme and goes full hippie.

Carlos: Despite being the happy-go-lucky, life of the party guy, he's actually deeply lonely at times and feels left out/out of step with the rest of the guys, so he jumps at the chance to feel important, loved, and in charge.

And, Kendall, of course, escapes the clutches of the fever by sticking to his roots and clinging to that sense of control he always has. WHICH, you can argue, hints at some dysfunction too, even though he didn't technically get "sick."

Moving onto BTHalloween, we see that there's some good reflection of each of their personalities in their monster personas, and I love that the writers went that route rather than just, like, throwing darts at a board at random.

Carlos first!

I mean, we know how Carlos is typically portrayed in the show. Loveable but in a human tornado sort of way. Chaos follows him, and he also isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. But he means well, he loves deeply, and he's really just trying his best.

Carlos as Frankenstein's Monster suits him well, in both of the forms we see him take. He starts off very Carlos-like. Just this goofy, clumsy guy, stumbling around but still happy through it all. And even his unintelligible mumbling is understood by Jo and his other friends. Deep acceptance and all that. Beautiful, yes?

Mega-Franken-Carlos, on the other hand, speaks better but is angry and focused solely on destruction. Now, this maayyy be a reach, but I do think it can be argued that Carlos probably feels a decent amount of pressure to be the sunshine of the band. To meet each situation with optimism rather than anger or any other "negative" emotion. I even recall reading lots of fics in my youth that leaned into this aspect of Carlos's personality and used it to write some pretty angsty stuff for him. So, I think the Carlos that later goes on a rampage and is chased by an angry mob fits too. Because it turns out that he's not even inherently "bad" or anything. Yeah, he smashes a lot of stuff, but really, he's just scared. And he's ultimately still that sweet, misunderstood guy.

Logie's turn!

Our anxious, easily panicked, often hanging-on-by-a-thread Logan being portrayed as a zombie who continues to lose pieces of himself (quite literally "falling apart") until there's nothing left of him but his head?? Genius. Brilliant.

Listen. I'm having so much fun writing this post. I LIVE for taking this funny, lighthearted show, sinking my analytical claws into it, and absolutely digging more deeply into things than anyone working on the show ever intended. But like. This has to be intentional, right? Logan isn't the zombie by coincidence.

He's EMOTIONALLY fragile in his canon, human form, and he's PHYSICALLY fragile in his monster form. Just trying to live his life with the knowledge that one wrong move holds the risk of making him fall to pieces. Losing parts of himself and just having to deal with it. I imagine he can put himself back together somewhat easily if it's manageable, like when he loses his arm in the high-five with Guitar Dude and then has it back on in the next scene. But then there's also a point where he has to rely on others, likely only after he's already fallen completely, or nearly completely, apart.

Let's see...can we recall a time when Logan pushed himself to a near breaking point both physically and emotionally and, dare I say, resembled a bit of a human zombie in the process??

It's so good. I feel insane.

James up next!

I admit that I don't have quite as much to say as far as the whole James as a vampire thing is concerned. I feel like it's pretty straightforward that the "pretty one" of the group is the handsome, well-dressed sparkly vampire. Ties into James's character nicely.

I did have one interesting thought come to me as I pondered his role in the episode, but it's definitely more of a silly take. I mean, the whole vampire and vampire hunter thing is a classic trope, so I don't think there's any hidden meaning to analyze there, but guess what! I found a way to do it anyway because I can do whatever I want on this ridiculous blog.

And the connection I cobbled together is this: James Diamond, as good-looking and confident and full of swag as he is, has chronic romantic issues throughout the series (or at least from what I can remember of future episodes). He's the one you'd expect to easily win over every girl, but he JUST CAN'T. Evidence!

BTDance: Aside from James being unable to find the time to actually ask anyone out, he also angers several girls he inadvertently asked out while helping Logan and ends up being chased by them.

BTGirlfriends: Dates a literal plant.

BTCrush: Lands himself a girl but is so wrapped up in losing his mind over Katie's little boyfriend that he ends up ruining the entire night and his chances with her.

There's also that disastrous marriage debacle from that one episode (BTWedding?)

Point is, the relationships he does have are shallow and fleeting. Thus, I submit to you, dear readers who have made it this far into my rambling, that James unsuccessfully trying to pursue Muffy (whose goal is to drive a stake through his heart) is incredibly fitting for his character. Love is always just a little out of reach for our dear James though I admit I can't remember if the series ends with him having a steady gf or not.

Kendall!

Kendall's connection to his monster-self is a little less obvious, I think, but there's also a lot there if you dig into who Kendall is canonically. Always has to be holding things together, right? Always wants to be in control. The stoic leader in some ways and an absolute anxious mess in other ways.

Because that's the thing! For as much as the series tries to put him in the unshakeable leader who churns out pep talks role, Kendall is consistently shown to spiral at the drop of a hat, especially when it comes to Jo and any love-related situation. We've seen him jealous and frantic and ridiculously paranoid enough times to know that this guy does NOT have it all together. He's great at leading others, but is less so able to keep himself in check when he feels threatened or nervous about something.

In general though, Kendall is just always wildly grasping for control. Control, order, consistency, routine, etc. Nothing out of place. Nothing that feels like he can't handle or fix it. Very healthy and extremely normal. (Kendall has generalized anxiety disorder and potentially other stuff going on and you can't convince me otherwise)

So, him spending the entire episode freaking out over this slow transformation he can't control and agonizing over whether it'll make Jo reject him is just so perfect for him. Because guess what else I think about Kendall? I think the kid suppresses a whole lot. Hides away pieces of himself that he doesn't want others to see for fear of how they'll react. A few things that come to mind:

In BTAudition where he denies and seems a little embarrassed when Katie tells people that he sings to her and likes 90s pop music

That one episode that has never left my brain where Kendall is sneaking all around, and it's revealed that he's figure skating

There's another episode I can't recall, but the line has always stuck with me because I think of it every so often. Someone, I think Mrs. Knight, asks Kendall what he's supposed to do when he has problems, and he replies, "You run from them."

Kendall has a very carefully curated outer self, and I think he works extremely hard to maintain it. No cracks allowed, nothing that anyone might perceive as weird. Show his polished self, hide his true self, lest everyone be horrified and decide they don't love him anymore. Shame over self-acceptance, even in the face of outright support and encouragement from those around him (namely his mother, who spends the episode trying to convince him to just be himself).

Just. There's a lot to unpack there as far as Kendall goes. But I shall end it there.

This is 100% not a mini post. I went off the rails. Love having this blog, everyone, thanks. Thriving over here. My hats off to anybody who manages to read through this entire thing.

Kendall pep talks: None.