Art Stuff

Then it was his hair. It had been windy in Arlathan and it had caused Lucanis’s hair to get in his face. As he fussed with it, warm hands pulled it behind his ears, gathering it together to make a tight ponytail. Fingers grazing at the nape of his neck as it gathered loose strands. “I always have extra hair ties for this reason.”

Then it was his thigh. This time it was not a hand, but it was another thigh always pressed against his if they were seated next to each other. Even if Lucanis moved his leg, the other leg somehow found its way to always touch as if they were magnetically attached. It wasn't as forward as the hand, but it felt all the same to Lucanis. It was like he always needed to be touched, lingering closer and closer. Sometimes the thigh was accompanied by an arm behind him on the back of the chair, hanging behind him like a reminder.

This time the arm was drunk and maybe Lucanis was too. Lucanis felt fingers running through his hair lazily, twirling strands absentmindedly. Lucanis wasn’t sure if Asay was aware of what he was doing, but he wasn’t going to stop him.

“So you’re telling me you’ve killed three ogres all by yourself?” Asay was sliding off the couch a bit. “You’re kidding me!”

“Got the scars to prove it.” Davrin rolled his sleeve up and flexed his arm.

“Wow,” Neve said, “Subtle way of showing off the biceps, Mr. Hero.”

Davrin gave a cheeky smile. “Guilty as charged.” He took a swig of his drink. “Tevinter really does have the good stuff.”

Asay took another drink, trying to keep up with Davrin. Everyone, except for Emmerich who said he had work to do in the lab, had piled into the main room of the Lighthouse. Neve snagged a few bottles of liquor from Minrathous, and after the terrible day everyone was having, drinks were in order.

“Rook is positively plastered.” Neve laughed, pointing at his beet red face.

“I’m not really.” Rook fixed his posture in response, and his arm slid down onto the assassin’s shoulder as a consequence. He didn’t move it and Lucanis stiffened his back.

“He's a real lightweight.” Harding giggled. “I remember making him take his first shot two years ago and he fell asleep ten minutes later.”

“I didn’t fall asleep, my eyes were tired,” Asay laughed. “And trust me, I’m not falling asleep right now. Seeing Solas would really kill me right now…”

“Don’t let Lucanis fall asleep either,” Neve commented after taking a sip of her drink. “He’s way too quiet over there and I don’t think we can wrangle Spite like this.”

“Ah, I’m not—“ Lucanis tried to defend himself, but his words caught in his mouth as Asay’s arm dropped behind his back, down to his waist, and pulled Lucanis in close to him.

“Don’t worry, Spite is taking him nowhere.” Asay squeezed him, keeping a tight grip on him.

“I am not falling asleep,” Lucanis managed out. “You do not need to hold onto me.”

“Ah, Rook is also cuddler when he’s drunk,” Harding laughed. “Sorry, Lucanis!”

“I am not,” Rook’s head lazily placed itself on top of Lucanis’. “I’m keeping his body captive so it doesn’t run off from us.”

“I did not think this night would end with me being a prisoner again,” lucanis joked, trying to look like he wasn’t slightly enjoying himself.

Conversation started again amongst the group, but Rook did not budge. As his body relaxed into the larger man’s, Lucanis couldn’t help, but lean into the fantasy that this was normal for them. That they do this all the time. It almost felt natural.

“Lucanis,” Asay whined out, “I’m hungry...”

“Do you want me to make you something?” He replied back. “That would require you to let go.”

Asay groaned. “But you’re so warm…”

“Ugh, I’m so nauseous I can’t even think of eating right now,” Bellara said, “This is why I smoke elfroot instead of drink. Oh! I should grab some the next time I go to arlathan. That would be fun.”

Asay perked up. “Yes! Talk to Elios, he knows where to find good strains.”

Taash looked at both Bellara and Asay with shock. “I didn’t peg you two as smokers.”

“Only recreationally.” Bellara responded. “ Sometimes I just wanna shut my brain up for a little while.”

“There was one year I smoked like everyday,” Asay said, “I thought it would help me not have my episodes, but then if I didn’t smoke I got more anxious that it was the only thing keeping me from blowing up. It was bad, but now I’m good.”

“Elios…” Lucanis said after realizing what Asay had said earlier, “Is that the elf you dated?”

“You dated Elios?” Bellara’s eyes lit up. “The southern point expedition leader?”

“He only got that job because of me.” Asay scoffed. “And you date Irelin which is so crazy!”

Bellara laughed, “I can’t believe we never met before now. We were so close yet so far.” She reached her arm towards him.

Asay reached back, leaning over Lucanis and accidentally pressing his chest into the smaller man’s face.

“So far yet so close…” Asay said, unable to reach Bellara’s hand. He pulled away and then propped himself up on the couch, letting go of Lucanis for a moment. The assassin used this as a perfect time to escape.

“I’m going to grab us some snacks,” he said as he made his way to the kitchen.

Asay caught him by his arm. “Where are you going?”

“I just said the kitchen.” Lucanis replied. Asay looked at him with big glassy eyes. Puppy eyes. “I—I’ll come back.”

“I’ll come with you.” Asay said, heaving himself up from the couch.

“You don’t have to,” Lucanis said.

“Aren’t you still my prisoner?” Asay looked down at him.

Lucanis’ heart skipped a beat as the Qunari looked down a him. “…uh, um, lead the way...”

Asay grabbed his hand and pulled him out towards the dining hall.

“Bring me back some cheese or something, Dellamorte.” Neve yelled as they went out the door. “They aren’t coming back, are they?”

Harding laughed nervously. “They probably aren’t…”

Asay sat on the counter when he got into the kitchen, he laid back, let his head slightly hang off the edge so his horns wouldn’t get in the way. He stretched his back and moaned loudly. “This feels so good,” he had his eyes closed and a satisfied smile on his face.

“You’re making my kitchen all dirty.” Lucanis said as he looked through the cupboards. He grabbed a block of chocolate, one he was going to use for baking, and then pulled a knife out to cut it.

Asay rolled on his side and propped his head up with his arm. “What are you going to do about it?”

Lucanis sauntered up to him, playing with the knife in his hand. He used it under Asay’s chin and lifted his chin up for their eyes to meet. The cold blade of the knife with Lucanis’ sharp eyes was enough to send a shiver through Asay’s body.

“Open up,” Lucanis said.

Asay obeyed and opened his mouth for him. His k-9s were sharper than Lucanis had realized. The assassin dropped a block of chocolate onto Asay’s tongue.

Asay kept his mouth open for a moment, making sure Lucanis saw his tongue toy with the chocolate. He then closed his mouth and cocked a brow. “Mint chocolate.”

“Do you like it?” Lucanis asked, cutting another cube. “I was planning on baking something with it eventually.”

He let it melt on his tongue until it dissolved. “More,” he opened his mouth. “I get very hungry when I’m drunk.”

Lucanis breathed out a laugh. “You get a lot of things while you’re drunk.” He placed another piece of chocolate into his mouth.

Asay laughed as he chewed. “You don’t seem drunk at all. Did you even drink anything?”

“I did, but I was trained to sort of ignore any of the effects of alcohol.” Lucanis said, putting the chocolate away and looking for something new to feed him.

“No, you do. I can tell you’re drunk.” Asay said, “You’re warm. Usually you’re cold.”

Lucanis pulled a box of biscuits from the cupboard and bit his lip to keep away any sort of dorky smile that wanted to spread across his face. “Vanilla Lavender cookies? I forgot I bought them in the market a few weeks ago.” Asay was now laying back on his back, eyes closed. “Don’t fall asleep. I can’t have you falling asleep on the counter.”

“It’s so comfortable though,” Asay said, not opening his eyes. “You said there were cookies?”

“Eat one and then you’re getting up,” Lucanis said, handing him a cookie.

“Hm, two cookies?” Asay said, propping himself up to eat the cookie. “Two cookies for me is like one cookie for you.”

Lucanis rolled his eyes and handed him a second cookie. He then bit into his own. Asay stared at him as he ate.

“Is it bad to be so happy when the world is falling apart?” Asay bit into the second cookie.

“You can’t help your emotions.” Lucanis shrugged. “Just because you are happy doesn’t mean you don’t care about what’s happening.”

Asay smiled and fell on his back on the counter again. “You make me happy.” He muttered, but Lucanis still caught it. The mage then pulled himself back up instantly. “Sorry, no sleeping on the counter.”

Lucanis put the box of cookies away and walked over to Asay. “You make me happy too…” Lucanis said, “I consider you…a good friend…”

“Hm,” Asay slid off the counter. “Friend…Friends don’t feed other friends food from their hands.”

Lucanis’ face went bright red. “No…they do not…” Was this going to be their moment? Was Asay going to confess his feelings? He felt his heart racing in his chest.

Asay’s heavy eyes studied Lucanis’ flustered face. “Hm,”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Asay sighed, his breath smelled of chocolate and lavender cookies. “Take me to my bed, I might fall off the edge and die or something.”

Asay was purposely toying with him and Lucanis felt defenseless to all the flirting, the touching, the compliments. Lucanis knew the man was drunk, but he was just doing what he was already doing sober, just on an exaggerated scale. The assassin didn’t know how to fight it, maybe because he didn’t want to. It would just be nice to know his intention outright instead of all the subtext and playful touching.

They walked back inside the lighthouse to find it eerily silent and empty. Everyone had gone to bed. Lucanis forgot the cheese. He had just remembered.

Rook flop onto his bed face first. He let out a muffled noise into his comforter that Lucanis couldn’t make out.

“The counter was weirdly more comfortable.” He said, turning onto his back.

“Well, you made it back to your room alive and well.” Lucanis said, “I will, uh, see you in the morning.”

“Wait, where are you going?” He called out.

“Asay…” Lucanis groaned out.

“What are you going to do after this?” He asked. “What if you fall asleep and there’s no one to stop Spite from taking you halfway across Thedas and then I never see you again?”

“I won’t fall asleep.” Lucanis said as he tried backing out of the room. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Hm,” Asay said, stretching his arms out on the mattress. “But you’re my prisoner, aren’t you?”

“I am not playing a game with you,” Lucanis rolled his eyes.

“What if I said this was a part of our contract?” Asay smirked. “You have to stay with me tonight.”

“Ah, yes, I’m sure Catarina would put that in a contract,” Lucanis sarcastically replied. “Asay, you’re being impossible.”

Yet, he still found himself walking towards Asay’s bed, pulled in by his charm.

“What if we just pretend we’re both super drunk and decide how we feel about it in the morning?” Asay looked up at him. “I’m not proposing anything more than me holding onto you. I’ll deal with Spite if you fall asleep. I think he likes me or something.”

Asay still had a rosy hue to his cheeks. Lucanis never felt this way looking down at someone. The only time he’s seen someone sprawled out before him was when his daggers were heavy and dripping in blood. Asay looked beautiful like this.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Asay asked. “You look like you’re going to cry.”

“I…you’ve been so kind to me.” Lucanis hung his head, batting away whatever tears were forming. “No one has ever asked to…hold me before.”

“People say I’m pretty good at it.” Asay scooted his body to the other side of the bed and then patted the mattress.

Lucanis stood there, a bit nervous. Should he accept? What did being held even mean? Would this make things weirder between Asay and Lucanis? He found himself fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve..

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Asay laughed. “I’m making you uncomfortable, aren’t I? Maybe I can just lock the door or hold your hand really tight instead?”

Lucanis didn’t respond and instead sat on the bed and took his shoes off. He slid back slowly towards the pillow, and laid down. It felt like the first time he’s ever laid in a bed before. His back was stiff, he didn’t know what to do with his legs nor his arms. He looked over at Asay, looking for guidance.

“Turn on your side,” Asay said in a hushed tone. “Away from me…”

The assassin did as he said and turned onto his side. A large grey hand grabbed onto his waist and pulled him in close. Asay’s body was warm, but it was a different warm than it was when they were sitting together on the couch. Asay’s large arm wrapped around his body, holding a light weight acrossed Lucanis. He felt small, vulnerable, unguarded. He was sensitive and so aware of every touch, jostle, grazing of their skin. His body shivered under the intimacy. It was all terrifying, but almost thrilling.

The mage adjusted until his head nestled into Lucanis’ shoulder. “Is this okay?” He whispered in his ear. “If you want me to move something or…”

“No, this is good.” Lucanis said. This was nice like one of those weighted blankets full of beans Catarina had laying around her villa, but warmer. There was something nice about feeling Rook’s chest rise up and down with each breath.

“Your heart is racing…” Asay’s breath was hot on his neck.

“Sorry, this is…very new to me.” Lucanis said, “Your’s is racing too.”

“Hm,” Asay brushed his nose against his ear. He wanted to kiss him, but it didn't feel like the right moment to.“I didn’t think you’d actually accept.”

“I—I didn’t think so either…” Lucanis said, looking down at Asay’s hand as his thumb stroked the edge of his belt. He took a breath and released it, trying to settle into Asay’s embrace.

“Do you want to talk or just keep it silent?” Asay asked.

“We can talk.”

Asay nuzzled into his raven hair, smelling him gently. “You smell like…espresso, blackberries, and…burnt wood like the stove.”

“Is that good?” Lucanis asked.

“Mm hm.”

“Your breath smells like chocolate and mint.” Lucanis said back.

“And who’s fault is that?”

He felt Asay shift again, moving his hips away and placing a bit of his leg to separate them a bit. His chest was still against Lucanis’ back.

“Sorry…” Asay whispered.

“For what?” Lucanis asked.

“Um, nothing…” Asay responded. “Your sweater is really soft.”

“I can make you one.”

“Of course you would,” Asay softly chuckled. “I’d love a sweater.”

Lucanis felt his eyes get heavy as he melted further into Asay. He didn’t want to bother Asay with Spite, but he couldn’t help the tired feeling in his eyes. The tiredness didn’t hinder the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. Was it fear? Was it guilt? Was it just nerves? It didn’t feel bad.

“Are you still okay?” Asay said, “if you need me to move…”

“No, this is perfect.” Asay could tell he was tired from how quiet his voice was.

“You can fall asleep if you want.”

“But, Spite…”

Asay shushed him and pulled his hand into his own. Lucanis felt tears fall from his eyes onto the pillow. What did he do to deserve Asay’s kindness?

The room was quiet and Asay could feel himself drifting asleep as he listened to the assassin’s slowed breaths. It was nice to see Lucanis so relaxed, but the moment quickly shifted. Asay could feel his body stiffen and his breathing change.

“Need to leave…need to get out…” Lucanis’ body wriggled under Asay’s heavy arm.

“Hi, Spite…”

“Rook…” Spite hissed out.

“You aren’t going anywhere,” the mage tightened his arm around him. “I promised Lucanis.”

“He promised me!” He said, trying to claw at Asay’s arm. “He promised me first.”

Asay wrapped his other arm around him, holding a tight pressure until Spite stopped wriggling. “Can you let him just sleep? Let me hold him…um, hold you.”

“Hold me?” Spite said, pausing for a moment to think. “Rook is very warm…”

“Mmhm,” Asay hummed into his neck. “Do you like it?”

“Yes…” the spirit grumbled. “Lucanis likes it a lot too.”

“I know…” Asay closed his eyes and settled into the nape of Lucanis’ neck.

“He thinks. A lot. About you.”

“Mhm,” Asay said, “I think about him a lot too.”

“We think. You are kind. Too kind.” There was something sweet about Spite. “He never. Let us. Talk.”

“If you like this, we can do this more often.” Asay hugged his chest. “Just you and me.”

“Spite and Rook…” Asay felt Lucanis’ body relax underneath him.

Asay felt a bit smug as he settled further into his bed. It was his first time charming a spirit and somehow he charmed him. Taming demons was easy. Just as easy as it was to tame an assassin…

The mage didn’t realize when he fell asleep. When he woke up, he realized he had a whole dream sequence involving Solas and Felassan arguing over food rations or something silly. Not the worst memory he’s had to witness. He stretched his arms out and groaned. As he stretched, he realized the weight of Lucanis’ body wasn’t next to him.

At first he didn’t panic, but then he remembered Spite. “Oh shit…” He rolled out of bed, trying not to assume the worst.

Asay walked out of his room and into the main room, Emmerich was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea.

“Rook, nice to see you finally awake,” Emmerich commented. “Sounded like you kids had fun last night.”

“Wait, what time is it?” Rook said, realizing how groggy he felt.

“There is no time in the fade, boy.” Emmerich laughed. “But according to your internal clock, probably around noon.”

Asay groaned. “Did you see Spite or, um, Lucanis around?”

“Hm, no, I haven’t.” The older mage said. “Why?”

“Um, uh, no reason.”

“You look panicked.” Emmerich leaned forward in his seat.

“No, nope, I’m good.” Rook hurried out the door. Maybe the caretaker knows something.

“I cannot track the eluvian usage,” the caretaker breathed out. “Do you need any enchantment?”

“No, I’m fine with the enchantment.” Rook put his hands on his hips in frustration.

“Looking for a certain demon of vyrantium?” Neve walked up behind Rook. “He went to Treviso for some business. Told me to tell you. Oh, and there’s breakfast in the ice box.”

Asay sighed, relieved to know where he was, but a bit disappointed he wouldn’t see him until later. “I worried about Spite and um…”

“He seemed fine this morning, no glowing eyes and weird hissing.” Neve said and then a small smile grew on her face. “He actually seemed…happy? Maybe we should get drunk more often…”

She patted his arm, winked at him, and walked towards the lighthouse.

The hangover was catching up with Asay as he processed everything. He grabbed his head as it started to slowly pound. He made his way towards Harding’s room.

“Rook, what have you gotten yourself into this time?” She had made herself tea earlier for her own hangover and handed him a cup.

Asay warmed the tea with his hands, and sat down on some blankets. A headache was settling in his head and the brightness that seeped through Harding’s windows wasn’t helping.

“Would you take at face value that I’m just being very kind and very nice to a man who has had a very bad year?” Asay gave a toothy smile, trying to feign innocence.

Harding was pacing in front of him. This is what she did when she was frustrated.

“Uh huh, uh huh, totally,” she sarcastically said. “If you weren’t totally all over him all night and flirting like crazy! Everyone saw it!”

“I—I was very drunk.” Asay shrugged and took a sip of the tea. “This is really good tea. What’s in it again?”

“Neve and Bellara snuck into the dining hall last night just to check on you, you know.” Harding said. She stood over Rook with her hands on her hips. “I heard you were lying sprawled out on the counter and he was feeding you…chocolates!”

“No! I—wait,” He was remembering. “Okay, well the counter just felt nice on my back. The feeding thing was his idea. I was too drunk to stop him.”

“Asay!” Harding exclaimed in frustration.

“Harding!!” Asay yelled back, “What do you want me to say? Sorry?”

“I’m not trying to shame your choices, Rook,” Harding sighed. “But, Lucanis? He’s like a paid and trained killer and has a demon inside of him and is like thirty five!”

“Okay, but—“ Asay tried to search his brain for a rebuttal. “But, he’s very sweet…” And very handsome…but he knew Harding wasn’t going to sympathize with that. Also Lucanis wasn’t that old. He was only six years older than Asay. Asay could work with that.

“Asay!!” Harding groaned. “We need our heads in the game. We have two gods to take down and eventually a third one. And you’re messing around with a possessed Antivan Crow.”

“I’m not messing around with anyone,” he said. “We’re friends, we were drunk, we got a little flirty in the kitchen. I don’t think that’s going to ruin our plans to save the world.”

“Jeez, Asay…” Harding sat down next to him.

“But…”

“Don’t say But,” Harding shot a look of fear at him. “I’m scared. You’re going to say something so stupid, aren’t you?”

“Okay so we did go back to my room, but—“

“Asay!!” She threw a pillow at him and it hit him on the arm.

“But!! Nothing happened, literally.” Asay said quickly. “I just…held him.” He winced as he waited for Harding to explode.

“Held him?” Harding stared at him like he was stupid. He definitely felt stupid.

“Like spooning? I spooned him.” Asay shrugged, drinking another sip of tea.

“Spooned him?” Harding’s eye was twitching.

“Okay, well I worried about Spite getting out and no one stopping him so if I held him then he couldn’t get away.” Asay realized how crazy that sounded. “I was drunk and didn’t think he’d accept. It seemed like a great plan in the moment.”

“Wow,” Harding couldn’t help but laugh. “And Spite just stayed?”

“I'm very good at spooning.”

“Maybe you can spoon Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain to death…can you spoon a blight out of existence, Asay? Can you spoon Solas to not be evil?” Harding scoffed. “You say what happened was nothing, but I know you…you’re pathetically gay.”

“Okay, says the big fat lesbian sitting next to me,” Asay shoved her and she shoved him back.

“He’s so different from you, though.” Harding said, “I never thought you’d be into him of all people.”

“You don't know him like I do,” Asay flopped back onto her pillows.

“You freaking spooned him.” Harding repeated, still in disbelief. “You’re literally insane.”

“I haven’t talked to him since,” He sighed. “He’s in Treviso probably so weirded out by last night he’s figuring out ways to get out of his contract.”

“I’m never getting you drunk ever again…” Harding laid back next to him. Both of them stared up at the ceiling in silence for a moment until Harding broke it. “Really you spooned him…and you let him feed you?”

“He feeds me all the time.” Asay shrugged.

“And there’s nothing going on between you two?”

“I’ve been trying to send signals, but I’m waiting for him to make that decision.” Asay responded. “He’s never been in a relationship so I’m not going to push him if he isn’t ready.”

Harding scoffed. “You cuddled him in your bed,” she said. “I hope he'd be ready after that.”