Jemmin

can’t stand hearing “it’s a quarter til 3” just say 2:75 like the rest of us

During sex she said “deeper” so I rolled over and started reading her poetry

were you cooking this in the sewer

Chernobyl fleshlight

if i were a drug dealer, i would wait until they asked for coke then i would take the money and reply with “sorry i only have pepsi” then laugh maniacally as i backflipped into the sewers

And now a demon roams free lol nice job

reading alone in your room at sunset with your windows open while the wind caresses your skin is probably the closest thing we have to a cure for the human condition

And then a bunch of mosquitoes fly into your room and you can't sleep for two weeks straight

all these dicks and you decide to suck the fun outta this post

from now on, by law, no one is allowed to ask me what i plan to do with my life or about my future plans. i’ve updated my privacy policy.

boys are so cute and they don't know they’re so cute so they smile and smirk and cock their heads to the side and smile at you and they bite their lips and when they stretch, you can see their stomach, and some of them run their fingers through their hair and make it all messy on purpose and it's so sexy of them when they don't have a social media presence and sometimes their hands are really big and they have those veins on their hands and arms and that makes me happy

ok look, if i could fake my death and go live in a small city and sit in a café drinking coffee and treating myself with a delicious pastry and reading my books all day while listening to music and completely ignoring any human interaction, i definitely would.

reblog if you’re tired of fake sesame street fans

do you ever look at your pet and you can literally feel your heart melting because you love them so much