the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

tumblr is the website for if you're just someone's weird sister

formative years? aren’t they all?

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

marvel movies are a type of microplastic. you know what i mean

"don't assign human morality to non human things" is so true except when it comes to printers. they know what they are, they understand dilemmas and ethics and morality. they choose to be how they are, they choose to be evil, at their very core they are rotten

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

sticky little fucker can still chuff back a durry even when the wee cunt's upside down

how the hell do people work full time AND work out. and also eat. i feel like a dvd player