You can razzle dazzle my fantazmagazle

one of the guys in the kitchen at work got called irritating and replied “I am not irritating. You just find me irritating. There are many people who love me.” I think we should all adopt his attitude

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

it's been a long week pass me the ballsack

Fuckin ANYTHING is more important than shitty Harry Potter!

companies make billions from you thinking you're ugly btw. only ugly thing is their bottom line. log out of tiktok right now.

learning to ask 'is this an ad' will save your life

always hilarious the lengths mammal moms will go to to retrieve a nearly-grown child from a situation of their own making. get back here

I just want to be naked and not have a care in the world