laughs in hidden

take the Dad out for a date instead

It’s 5am and this is the post that made me decide to turn off my phone and go to sleep

@jedifinndameron

but what an incredible journey he had getting there

He’s Ye Olde Florida Man

‘ye olde florida man’ is actually way closer then it has any right to be and that scares me

“My battery is low and it is getting dark” weren’t Oppy’s literal last words, her last message to earth was a readout of her battery power and light sensor readings, something that I think is nonetheless sad. But what I find astounding is we’ve translated that last message into language that is so poetic and humane, and IMO that speaks powerfully of the lengths that human empathy can reach. I really think that says something beautiful, and I need to go hug my Roomba.

i just woke up from a dream where i was being interrogated by a bunch of people asking me if “furbies are kosher” firstly…. im not jewish. secondly……..what the fuck

please stop sending me asks pertaining to the kosher status of furbies. i really do not know. this was just a manifestation of my subconscious. im assuming that they are not kosher because furbies aren’t even food. but who knows! ask a rabbi, if you must. 

Jew here! Furbies are actually worse than unkosher–they are not permissible as food, even for gentiles. This is because the Torah teaches that it is forbidden for any human to eat the meat of an animal that is still alive, and the Furby cannot die.

hi this is the most ominous description of a furby i have ever heard

Its 2019 and we have colored text, why arent we highlighting random nouns to make our text look like video game dialogue? If we aren’t pretending to be NPCs we aren’t truly living.