guys can we like kill alfred pennyworth? like as a concept? can we stop acting like he's cool? that old man sucks actual shit you guys.

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@javieyaufr
guys can we like kill alfred pennyworth? like as a concept? can we stop acting like he's cool? that old man sucks actual shit you guys.

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Bruce having a butler/staff to do for him whatever he needs done but still doing it himself for the people he loves is so infinitely important to me, especially because the people don't realize its him.
Dick's fondest memories of childhood is the hot chocolate he used to drink every winter. He thought Alfred had always made it for him, because Alfred had always been the one to give him a mug of it, but the year after Alfred dies Bruce hands him a mug and Dick bursts into tears right then and there. "You know his recipe?" he sputters, through snot and a lump in his throat. Bruce pauses, considers briefly and dismisses the thought of telling him the truth. "Of course, chum." He lies, because Alfred wouldn't have known where to start in making hot chocolate, that sort of drink was beneath him. "I'll teach it to you."
Jason's favorite feeling in the world is slipping on a freshly ironed shirt. It's fucking fantastic. The greatest thing ever. He loves it so much. He used to watch Alfred do the laundry because he knew ironing was a part of it. Alfred never ironed a thing in his life. Bruce did all the ironing in the house. It soothed his mind to do it, to watch the wrinkles smooth out, to see the mistakes go away with just a little bit of water, heat and pressure. Jason comes to the Manor after a rough patrol and snaps 'where's Bruce?' and Tim points wordlessly to the laundry room. 'doing laundry? yeah right." Jason scoffs, and slams the door open only to find Bruce actually ironing. His shirt. "What are you doing?" He barks, and Bruce looks up, surprised. Like... genuinely surprised that someone is questioning the fact that he's ironing. "I'm... ironing?" He questions, and Jason snorts, snag his shirt and tosses it over his shouldr. "Yeah right. You lose a bet or something, old man?" Bruce debates for a moment, dismisses, and smiles at his son. "It can wait to be fulfilled. Hungry?"
Tim loathes cucumber sandwiches with his whole heart, but his parents staff used to do this thing where they'd put zuccini in the sandwiches in the center just for him. He told the story once to Bruce, and Alfred was in the room with them, and the next time he reached for a cucumber sandwich on the table, it was zuccini. He was elated. Alfred never bought zuccini. Never cooked it. He listed it amongst the top five worst gourds to exist. He never knew there were zuccinis hiding amongst his cucumbers
Steph had this one specific spoon that she loved eating with whenever she was at the Manor, and it was always polished to perfection everytime she needed it. She'd seen Alfred polishing and had been forced to polish utensils as a punishment enough times to assume that he'd just been doing it. When Bruce finally passed, he left the rag he would polish her spoon with and the spoon to her in his will. "I'm sorry I can't do it for you, anymore, but at least I taught you how to do it yourself."
Damian walks into his room to find Bruce bent over his shelf with a feather duster, meticulously cleaning his room for him. "What are you doing?" He barks, sharp and harsh. Bruce straightens, turns to him in surprise. "Damian! You weren't supposed to be home for another few hours!" "Only Pennyworth is allowed in here to clean." Damian says stifly, crossing his arms. Bruce raises an eyebrow. "I thought you said we're only allowed in to clean, unless you give permission otherwise. It's your room, Damian. I will respect your privacy." "Yes but-" Damian begins, and then stops. He'd said they could only go into his room to clean because thats what had happened in the League. Unimportant people, the servants, had cleaned his stuff. It didnt matter to him if they saw it because... they didnt matter. He'd thought... he'd assumed Pennyworth would- not... Bruce smiles.
Just. i dunno. Bruce doing the mundane 'servant' tasks for his family because it matters to them and as a form of affection and them not realizing it/realizing it much too late
Superman says no gacha
superman canonically hates genshin impact
Dammit, Clark! Let me have a one sided relationship with my four star male Elsa. That's why you'll never be my blorbo.
"Batman can have is no kill rule but other heroes should kill. Like, Oliver Queen should kill."
So, a man among the 1% should be killing whoever he thinks deserve it, abusing his power.
"Wonder Woman and Superman should kill"
So, two beings who are not humans, and way more powerful than humans physically, should be able to kill any human they think deserve it. Wonder how people would feel safe with them.
"Jason should get to shot people in the head"
So, a white man can go shot and kill drug dealers, like the cops aren't enough. Wait, this one is working outside the laws, so he cannot even be punished.
"Heroes that don't kill are pushed unto us to try to manipulate us into not using violence to fight back against oppression and the system."
3 words: you are stupid. Killing people labelled "criminals" is peak fascism. All humans life is sacred, even bad people's lives, is the base of the human rights. Fights against the death penalty and cops having the right to murder are done by leftists. I just have no words for how stupid y'all are.
Not all venom fans are monster fuckers 😞 some of us are just aroace disasters who like the idea of a platonic soulmate who likes to murder annoying people for you, is that so bad?
Guys I’m part of the club 🥺
monsterqueerplatonic
Aces are welcomed and are valued members in the monsterfucker community.
This is asexual joy!

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bad batman comic: oh no the joker kidnapped my girlfriend of the month! good thing i have the help of nightwing and red hood and robin and the other robin and batgirl and
good batman comic: my batsuit is talking to me again. it wants me to buy a gun.
You know how one of the reasons Dick was so upset with Bruce after Jason’s death was because Bruce didn’t tell Jason was dead/didn’t tell about the funeral and so Dick wasn’t there for it? What if Bruce DID tell Dick, but Dick just ignored all of the messages Bruce was sending him? What if much later on, Dick is complaining about it and Bruce finally snaps and tells him he DID tell Dick about Jason/Jason’s funeral? But all of Bruce’s messages went ignored? That Bruce had even sent a message about Jason having runaway/that Jason was missing? And all the rest of the Batfam is there for this revelation? What are their reactions to this?
-🖤💙
I don't even know where to begin cause my brain is kind of sucky right now, but hell yes. Wonderful au. I am extremely on board.
What if Bruce handled his grief "correctly" and was still crucified for it?
What if Dick tries to deny it, but Barbara can go into his history and find the voicemail in seconds? What if Dick never actually looked? What if his relationship with Bruce never properly recovers?
What if Dick tried to talk to Bruce, but Tim didn't let him?
What if Jason and Dick start arguing, and Jason throws in his face all the things Dick has been saying to Bruce for years?
What if Dick's need for someone to blame was stronger than his love, and always has been?
What if the others start to see things like Bruce and saw how they aren't good with him?
What if Dick realizes Bruce loved his to the point to accept all the blame for years, but Dick never loved Bruce the same?
What if Dick finally broke? Not because of Joker, Two Face or Hugo Strange, but because Bruce's love was something he himself had been laughing at for years, cursing at it, seeing nothing but what he wanted to see, and realizing that maybe Jason was right, and he didn't deserve that love.
What if...
Bruce who doesn't forgive. Bruce who for once is hella pissed, all his boundaries ignored and insulted by Dick and the others for something it wasn't his fault.
Bruce who is hurt, and angry, and want a moment for himself. A real moment for himself. So he shoutdown every communication, every message, everything, to be alone for a while, because he needs it.
Dick who doesn't understand and still try to talk to him, until he reach Bruce, but instead of talking, Dick yelled at him.
And Bruce "You are making forgiving you really difficult. "
"You make loving you difficult!"
Silence. Then , "Go away, Richard."
"Bruce..."
"Leave me alone. I don't want to see you or your sibilings for...I don't know...but I need to be alone. And you need your time without me."
"You are over reacting now..."
"Me? Dick, you did worse for years, and now I don't want to put up with any of this. I'm tired. Leave, before I make you."
Later , Bruce changes his hideout. Dick tries to think it's just Bruce being himself.
Until Alfred said," The last time I said I hated being stuck with him after his parents' death, he left Gotham for five years. I'm not so sure this time will be just five years."
And now, Dick is afraid they all broke Bruce in ways nobody ever did and that the last thing he said to him was that Bruce was unlovable.
Hi, Myli!
Oh shit. I swear I did not read this one before answering the other one. It's just a very painful - for y'all - coincidence.
So, here :D I don't wanna do a Bruce POV. I want the kids to try and figure out a way to solve the issue. And maybe they actually don't know what happened.
Imagine they just think this was another way out of proportion fight, but maybe Bruce took it too seriously, and now they need to fix this mess.
ABSOLUTE FUCKING CIBEMA
In another life/ I would be your girl/ We keep all our promises/ Be us against the world , but it's Dick and Bruce; Dick really wanted to be part of Bruce's life forever and ever, but he resigned himself to not have him in his life.
Menwhile, Bruce is very much no I want you in my life now, unfortunately, Dick cannot understand his dad/father figure/partner/mentor like he belives.
@loonstar4477 @imsorrybruce @nikiexe0 @occasionalauthoring @ilovemybruciewayne

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you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog
Couldn’t risk it.
didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.
THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT
you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog
Couldn’t risk it.
didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.
THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT
fun fact, Batman is actually only that jacked because he refused to accept that his Robins were too big to be picked up, even as adults
“is this about the salmon ladder fic” MAYBE
i love the salmon ladder fic
⭐To all the fanfic writers out there, a little gold star!⭐
Coming from the lit nerd

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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needing to take a shower: worst feeling in the world getting into the shower: hardest task in the world being in the shower: 🚿🧼🛁🧴🫧 getting out of the shower: second hardest task in the world being out of the shower: (soft hair) (soft skin) (cozy towel) (clean clothes) why is getting into the shower always so hard. i should remember this feeling (most beautiful feeling in the world) next time i need to take a shower
I think Bruce's anti-murder philosophy would translate better if it wasn't portrayed by writers who obviously want him to kill someone lol
He keeps getting writers that want to write a murderous anti hero but feel like they 'Got stuck with Batman'. You know, one of the most popular superheroes of all time. Someone with a history of being kind and compassionate.