Useless but Unique

crab crab crab hand hand hand frighten

im quitting tumblr

ok see u tomorrow

this post is now 10 fucking years old

Welcome home

why would you name two of your kids William (they both survived to adulthood, it’s not like the younger William was named in honor of a dead brother)

a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.

the real reason howl kept his castle moving was tax evasion

This sounds like a joke but I read the book this is the literal reason

Our little stupid conversation means more to me than you think

there are so many hidden relationships between people.. ur grandpa killed mine in a war some 800 years ago but also we were neighbors in the 1700s who traded eggs and milk. wwhat does that make us 

in high school I found out a guy in my english class had an ancestor who was on the opposite side of the samurai rebellion in which my great great grandfather was meant to be executed (for losing) but he ran away and hid for the rest of his life and the guy was like “….damn. good for him. now we’re both here to write bad essays on pride and prejudice.”

apparently this morning my wife heard me make a noise in my sleep and she asked me if i was okay and i just responded with "yeah, i'm just pissed off" and promptly fell asleep again. like i was dead asleep and just fucking hating still i guess. the grind never stops

DAAaHRLINg,

my dad just walked in, asked me “what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?” and left