Hiya! I’m jasmine, I’m 18 and I sometimes write (rarely and low-key quitting but I might get into it one day?) I’ve been a fan of Saku for the 4 years he’s been posting. Even witnessed yandere boy…☕️
Anyways so more about me:
I play volley ball, I horse ride, and go to the gym (BOY YK THAT ASS SUPER FAT)
I’m an ENTP
I talk a lot so be prepared when asking me a question ☺️
My favourite colour is blue
You will see a bunch of reblogged posts or maybe just posts of me ranting but if you dig deep enough you might find like 3-4 fics…if you scroll deep enough….🙂
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you really can’t unsee american military propaganda in movies like once you start thinking about it you are doomed to be the friend who’s too political when people put on an action movie for the rest of your life
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i desperately NEED a fic of xanthus helping love through a panic attack and breakdown (◞‸ ◟")
My Love? II
Xanthus Claiborne x Reader
Part I
You broke off with a sob, burying your face in the pillow you had been clutching. It was all too much. You felt so untethered, so lost, so detached from your own emotions and life and mind.
It felt like a part of yourself was taken from you, snatched away by some mystery of a world that was not your own. Vampires? That had never been your issue to deal with. Why had Xanthus prayed on you that evening? Why did he have to drag you into this mess?
“No, it’s not fair,” you wailed, emerging from the pillow to use it to swat the hands away halfheartedly that had settled on your shoulders. “It’s not— not fair!”
Xanthus winced, a look of pain flashing across his face he did not feel the need to hide. Your face was buried in your hands, the pillow lying beside him as his hands hovered in the air between you, unsure if he should touch, unsure if his touch was welcome.
“My—” love. “My dear,” he said instead, the word tasting foreign on his tongue. “Take some deep breaths. It’s all going to be alright. We can figure this out together, yes? I promise you’re not alone in this.”
You only shook your head, continuing to cry. Your shoulders shook from the force of your sobs, the broken gasps escaping you tearing on his heart. Tentatively, Xanthus reached out, lightly placing his hands over yours. To his relief, you let him, allowing him to guide them away from your face.
“Look at me, please,” he requested, his voice nothing more than a whisper. You wiped your eyes, raising your head to look at him. “There you are,” he said, a small smile crossing his face. You felt his fingers intertwined with yours. “It’s going to be alright now, I promise.”
“You don’t know that,” you said stubbornly, suddenly feeling very drained.
A wave of exhaustion seemed to overtake you, all the anger and doubt and despair slipping away to leave nothing but an aching sadness behind, and bone-deep exhaustion. You were tired of all of this, and it was a mystery to you how Xanthus did not seem to care about the logistics of your situation at all.
“How do you do this?” you asked. There was no accusation in your voice. You were genuinely curious. “You say you love me. Do you truly believe it?”
“I do,” he said with no hesitation. “It’s as easy as breathing, loving you. Even if our meeting was fate, and our connection transcends the norm with our very souls being connected, I could imagine no universe where I didn’t love you. You are everything to me,” he said, raising your hand to his lips and placing a lingering kiss against it. “The bond is only an extra.”
You shook your head. “No, without it, we wouldn’t have— this wouldn’t have happened. We wouldn’t have met again and had this— this interest in one another.”
“My love, I fall in love with you anew every day,” he said, willing you to understand. “The depth of my devotion to you goes deeper than fate, or whatever the bond would have allowed for. Can’t you feel how completely I love you? Can’t you see how lost I am without you?”
“I— Xanthus, that’s not the issue,” you said, looking down at him.
He was kneeling on the floor before you, your hands still held firmly between both of his. His gaze was searching yours, trying to understand what had made you so upset, trying to find a way to comfort you and soothe the doubts swirling around your head.
“What is it then?”
“I just— why do you love me? How do you love me and how do you know it’s fully you? I mean— I mean where is our free will in all of this? And what if it was the bond, only the bond I mean, that brought us together? Do you think you’d love me if there was no bond? Do you—?”
“Does it matter?” he frowned. “I love you now, I know I do. Why think about forever? How this came about doesn’t matter, where this will go is less important than the present moment and I know, I am certain that right now, there is nobody I would rather share my time with than you, nobody I would rather give all my love. My love, eternity is such a grand thing to desire. Is the present not enough for you?”
