Antithetical dream girl

I said this exact sentence around five days ago to @belladonnadawn, because it literally sums up my feelings for this entire episode. Although it was filled with such insightful, well written, downright surprising lore, top notch voice acting, and amazing production (as it always is, and forever will be), it was also filled with the very same characters that absolutely pissed me the FUCK OFF. So without further ado, let's get into it.

Let’s start with the obvious: James is an absolute spineless fucking coward.

Since the very beginning, this motherfucker has had it out for Barista. He spent the majority of his screentime absolutely terrorizing them, and sussing them out because he truly believes that they were doing something nefarious--only for us to find out that he's been doing the exact same fucking thing the entire time.

In hindsight, for a person like James, his behavior toward Barista makes perfect sense--because when you gain power through nefarious means, manipulate and lie to the people you hold dear, and betray people the way James has, you're gonna start thinking that everybody else will do the same thing to you, too. Elias and Warden are both people that he's known years. James could probably gage the way they they'd react to certain situations, he knows what their schedules are, and has a very good grip on their personalities. Elias and Warden are predictable. They are part of the equation he is trying to solve--and it should've been simple: Kill Warden with the bomb. Dismantle the Wraiths. Get Elias out of Stockton. Reuinite him with his mother. Live happliy ever after.

But it isn't that simple. Most equations AREN'T that simple--because most equations have variables.

And that's what Barista is.

They were a variable that he didn't account for. And since he doesn't know them as well as he knew Elias or Warden, that means Barista was unpredictable. And right now, when he is quite LITERALLY playing with fire by teaming up with Morgan, the leader of the Penance---WHICH IS THE OPPOSITION OF THE WRAITHS, MIND YOU---is the worst time to have unpredictibility. This whole thing of killing Warden and "freeing" Elias from the burden of becoming the leader of the Wraiths was supposed to go off without a hitch! And now, all of that could be ruined because of one small, singular decision made by the Barista--the one variable in this equation that he cannot control. So to combat that, he had to fight even dirtier than he already had. When he found out that Barista knew about his involvement in the bomb incident, he not only threatened to KILL them, but USED the feelings they had for Elias against them in order for them to stay silent. He was telling them that they had no idea what this information could do to Elias if they snitched; and it could get him in serious trouble, and could quite possibly get him killed. It made Barista think that they'd be responsible for his death if they snitched. So not only did they keep silent out of fear that thye'd be put on a shirt, but also to try and save Elias' life as well. I don't doubt that he cares about Elias, he probably wouldn't be doing all of this shit with Morgan if it didn't mean giving Elias a chance at living normal life. He knows that his nephew doesn't belong in the gang world, and that's another reason why he threatened Barista into silence.

That’s why I'm so confused and utterly pissed off at James' actions in this episode.

HE'S DONE LITERALLY EVERYTHING UNDER THE FUCKING SUN TO KEEP HIS LITTLE OPERATION WITH MORGAN UNDER WRAPS, AND AWAY FROM ELIAS. HE'S THREATENED THE BARISTA'S LIFE OVER THIS SHIT--AND MADE THEM LIE TO ELIAS, BECAUSE HE'S MADE IT VERY FUCKING CLEAR THAT THEY'D DIE IF THEY TOLD HIM.

YOU DO ALL OF THAT NONSENSE...JUST TO HAVE THEM BOTH KNOCKED OUT, DRAGGED FROM THE SAFE HOUSE, AND KIDNAPPED BY THE VERY SAME ENEMIES THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING. AND THEN PROCEEDS TO TELL ELIAS THE VERY SAME INFO THAT HE THREATENED US NOT TO TELL!?

LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK???

But it doesn't even stop THERE. To make matters WORSE, he throws ALL the shit he did to us back in our FACE. When he was confronted by the fact that he literally betrayed not only the Wraiths but his entire family, and wasn’t trustworthy, HE THEN TURNS IT ON BARISTA by telling Elias that they aren’t trust worthy EITHER because they lied to him regarding James’ involvement with the bomb. HE’S LITERALLY FUCKING ACTING LIKE HE DIDN’T FORCE BARISTA INTO SILENCE BY WORD OF HIS OWN FUCKING THREATS. What was LITERALLY the point of putting Barista through all of that, going through such GREAT LENGTHS to make sure that Elias doesn’t find out—JUST TO TURN AROUND AND DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU TOLD US NOT TO DO?

I feel like what’s even more fucked up about this whole thing is that since he’s made Elias aware of this whole operation he’s doing with Morgan, it’s now ELIAS’ RESPONSIBILITY to somehow figure out how to save his father from certain fucking death. What do you mean that Elias somehow has to convince his father—THE STUBBORN, RUTHLESS LEADER OF THE WRAITHS; THE MAN WHO TOOK OVER THE GANG AND PUSHED FORWARD FOR TEN STRAIGHT YEARS TO KEEP HIS WIFE’S LEGACY ALIVE—to DISMANTLE the very group he’s built for even ten years STRAIGHT without telling him that the woman he’s done this all for, IS STILL ALIVE—ALL BECAUSE JAMES KNOWS THAT WARDEN WILL KILL HIM IF ELIAS SNITCHES!?

This is the reason why James is a fucking coward! Because he constantly does nefarious things behind the backs of the people he is supposedly trying to protect. He terrorizes, bullies, and threatens Barista behind Elias’ back—whispering words of death and destruction to them in secluded parts of the house where no one can hear them. He teams up with his literal Opps and tries to kill his brother in law, all the while smiling in his nephew’s face and promising that he’ll do anything he can to try and protect his father. And THEN when CONFRONTED by his insidious deeds, he tries to deflect the heat to BARISTA and manipulate the situation to make it seem like they’re untrustworthy, when HE also had a hand in their dishonesty too. And then, for the cherry on top, he makes it Elias’ responsibility to essentially get them all out of the mess that HE’S MADE—all the while making Elias being dishonest to his father by leaving out crucial information (like his fucking wife being alive the entire time), because he doesn’t want Warden to kill him.

What kind of person are YOU? What kind of PROTECTOR are you???

BABY YOU GOT TO GO TO HELL.

What makes this worse is that he’s not the only dumbass in the room, because then there’s MORGAN, the leader of the Penance.

I’m gonna tell all of ya’ll right the fuck now, Morgan’s plan is stupid as hell. Why the hell are you trying to coax out the “mysterious Vex benefactor,” by encouraging a merger between the Vex and Wraiths, when you know next to NOTHING about him? And you know why it’s stupid?? Because the mysterious Vex benefactor is ASRIEL CAIN, the man who literally has a VAMPIRE for a bodyguard. That man has access to worlds that go BEYOND human comprehension—LIKE THE WORLD OF FUCKING MYTHICS, FOR EXAMPLE. The power he holds is beyond Morgan’s understanding!! And then not to mention he has the entire court right behind him too! What the fuck do you look like trying to bait out something you don’t even fully understand yet? And it doesn’t even sound like he has any sort of plan, either. And yeah, Morgan MIGHT get what he wants, and Asriel MIGHT actually be coaxed out, but it most certainly will not end well for him or his bumass gang, because like I said before—ASIREL HAS A VAMPIRE FOR A BODYGUARD, and ya’ll know there are two things Pet never played about: Asriel, and a free drink of blood.

But hey, when you play stupid games, you end up getting stupid prizes, and trying to coax out man who has a VAMPIRE as his protector is a pretty fucking stupid game to me. No matter how many times he tries to explain it to Elias & co., him doing this will NEVER make sense to me.

But you know who DOES have a lot of explaining to do?

TARA.

The beloved wife of Warden, the loving mother of Elias, and the strong willed sister of James. The woman who has haunted the narrative from the very beginning. The person who made the Wraiths.

No fucking way has she been alive this entire fucking time. I cannot think of any good reason as to why she’d essentially abandon her family for ten years, cut off all contact with them while they think you’re dead—only to be laid up with the very same opps your gang would definitely be against. And being okay with your brother putting a hit against your motherfucking husband.

The same husband that is trying to keep your legacy alive the best way that he could.

The same husband who fundamentally changed since your death.

The same husband who had sacrificed everything—his morals, his peace, his safety, he relationship with his only goddamn son—and not to mention innocent LIVES—to make sure your memory lives on. That man has quite literally become a shell of what he once was because of your “death,” and you’re telling me that you don’t care about that shit? Not even little bit???

HAS EVERYONE IN THIS SERIES LOST THEIR FUCKIN MIND??

The only explanation I have for her being okay with Warden’s death is: 1) He allowed Elias to join the Wraiths, and 2) He’s also recruiting teenagers to join the Wraiths. She made this gang because Stockton was dangerous for kids and other people who are just trying to live their lives. Him including children to participate in gang violence does NOT make Stockton any safer. But not only this, she made the Wraiths to make Stockton safer for ELIAS to live in too. I don’t think Tara ever wanted Elias to get involved with the gang-banging she was doing, which was why Elias was completely oblivious about what his parents and uncle actually did until the age of 14. Warden letting Elias join the gang and letting kids participate in this as well is absolutely unforgivable in Tara’s eyes, and is going against what she stood for, and the reason why she even made the Wraiths in the first place. It seems like to her, Warden’s lost sight what it’s all about, and that’s why she doesn’t have a problem with James attempting to slime Warden out.

Even so, none of this explains why she never tried to contact her family for ten straight years, but all I fucking know is that it better be a good one—one good enough to justify all the pain and suffering her family had to endure due to her absence.

But one thing’s for certain: She’s as fucked up as her brother. I guess the apple doesn’t fall that far from the tree.

But you know who else has fucked up?

Barista.

First off, I want to quote something I said in the patreon comment section on the day the episode dropped. I stated, “I don’t even blame Barista for not telling him, honestly. From what we know right now, they’re a civilian, someone who is ignorant to the underbelly of society. They do not know how to navigate gang banging the way Elias and James and the rest of them do. And on top of that, even though it’s obvious that Barista cares about Elias and Elias cares about them—James was someone he’s known and trusted with everything he’s had in him. Even if we DID tell Elias about the phone call in the last audio, I highly doubt Elias would have believed us. In THIS audio, he was so adamant about James not being involved when Morgan told him he was, that he only believed it when he showed him the proof. And that was something we did not have in the last audio. Even when we WERE honest about James’ actions toward us (I’m referencing episode 5, when we first meet James in the safe house) Elias still rationalized James’ behavior. So even if Barista would have told him last audio, I’m very doubtful he would have believed us if there no was no sufficient evidence to back it up.”

With this being said, one of the things that pissed me the fuck off was the fact that they lied to Elias a second time. That decision was absolutely dumb because it was extremely obvious that Morgan was going to bring out James to prove that he was involved with him the entire time. What’s the point in lying now of all times when you know James right down the fucking corner to prove you wrong?? At that point just come clean!!

What pisses me off further is their explanation as to why lied—telling him that they “just wanted to protect him.” MOTHERFUCKER WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL HIM THAT JAMES THREATENED TO KILL YOU?? Like—don’t get me wrong, I have no doubt that they kept it quiet to keep Elias safe, but I also believe that had James not threatened their fucking life, Barista would have absolutely told Elias about the conversation. Barista leaving out the detail that their life would be in danger if they told Elias just pisses me straight off because you can tell that Elias the “I just wanted to protect you,” response. He would’ve understood if Barista would have just told him that their life was on the line.

I feel like @belladonnadawn said it best, “The adults in Elias’ life constantly fails him,” because it’s honestly so true.

One left and never came back. She supposedly “died” in the wreck that was the “Fresno Incident,” and left her family behind for ten whole years. Elias wakes up multiple times a week due to nightmares because he has witnessed it firsthand. He shoots up out of his bed in a cold sweat, chest and mouth filled with deep heaving breaths, eyes wide and glassy, because of the crushing guilt he has felt for so long—thinking that he wasn’t strong enough to save his mother. He did fucking hard DRUGS to cope with the loss. And I just KNOW she fucking knows this. ALL of the suffering Elias went through was for NOTHING, and she knows it. Like I said before, this woman better have a good fucking reason for not showing herself sooner, because ALL of this shit could’ve have literally been avoided if she was there. I know Tara wouldn’t have let Elias get into drugs. I know Tara would’ve disapproved of Elias’ use of cigarettes. She would have protected him from the nightmares. And yet she wasn’t there…WILLINGLY. I wonder all the time how she sleeps at night.

Another got him involved in a gang. In those ten years following Tara’s death, James, Elias, and Warden changed dramatically. Warden became colder and closed off to literally everyone, even his own goddamn son, and dedicated himself to leading the organization SHE’S made in order to keep her legacy alive. Elias sees that he’s slowly losing his father because of this, and when he was asked to join, he immediately obliged because he didn’t want to lose another parent too. He’s sent to go on dangerous missions, has been kidnapped, and almost been KILLED multiple times.

Because Elias is in this gang now, he’s killed, threatened, and hurt people.

Because he is in this gang, his dreams of getting his cosmology degree is down the drain. He’s had to drop out of college and leave all of that behind to help his father.

Because he is in this gang, he is next in line to become the new leader, which is something he never wanted.

He most likely be on the path of a young, violent death if he keeps going.

The other has betrayed him and is left to deal with the mess. I don’t think I need to explain this one too much. James knew Tara was alive for months and didn’t tell anybody. He got involved with Morgan and hatched a plan to dismantle the Wraiths by killing Warden. Now, because of his actions, it’s on Elias to make convince his father to quit the Wraiths and skip town.

Everything about this entire situation is fucked. Elias’ whole life as he knew it is a fucking lie, and now he cannot trust ANYBODY. Just like with the gang shit, he is now forced to be a part of something he doesn’t want to be—working with the penance, and lying to his father—in order to SAVE his fucking family. And his father’s life is in his hands.

Everybody pray for him.

Pray for Barista.

Pray for Warden.

As for everybody else?

My man has gone through so much.

The wars he served:

Battle Of Newburn

2. Battle of Adwalton Moor

3. Battle of Selby

4. Battle of Marston Moor

5. WWI

6. WWII

This is a make it up post after I hit you guys three angst Xanthus fics of mine *clear throat* the time travel one and the Claibornes.

Based off of the actual painting made by Gustav Klimt! :)

Okay unless I missed it somewhere, specifically ep8 and ep9 and even somewhere here in Tumblr or the website, we literally have no other news of that kid. The beginning of ep8 was literally Zaros alerting the Earis that Adaron went missing but they ended up feeling chill or whatever after a few considerations on what could of happened to him.

There’s 2 possible explanations:

1: Adaron and the spidling (I don't know how you spell it lol) are actually a part of the trials or it was plan ahead to be a test for Zaros and Earis. (Now this theory I see quite a bit in YouTube and Tumblr)

2: Adaron genuinely did got lost and accidentally got left behind by his family (cause he needed to pee lol) and when he woke up while Zaros and Earis were sleeping he decided to just get up and go to find his way back alone cause he probably thought he's being a lot to handle for.

Draft from June 3 lol, but my point still stands, ep10 is out AND WE STILL DONT KNOW (I THINK???) WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM AFTERWARDS AHHHHH

If the saquverse characters were dolls..which would you choose? (Personally I’d have the whole collection)

—> I drew this during Saqu’s stream! I sprinkled some details if you look close enough 😉

Loosely used this as a reference: