2. The boyfriend, let’s call him Matt, is done with basic a few weeks later and his graduation comes along. His parents can’t attend for some reason, so Sarah asks Maddie to go with her and Maddie figures why not. She was friends with Matt too so she should go and support him. She also knows she’s going to be a third wheel but she’s okay with that. So, they take Maddie’s Jeep and drive all the way to where it’s taking place and this is where Maddie meets Tommy. He has no one there at graduation for him, but he and Matt are really close friends. Does Tommy maybe have a crush on Matt that he doesn’t want to let on about? Yes. Absolutely. But Matt invites Tommy to come along with Sarah and Maddie to celebrate and of course Matt and Sarah are a little all over each other so Tommy is left to talk to Maddie. Maddie is a little awestruck by how hot Tommy is and she’s only a girl so of course she’s flirty and Tommy is still trying to convince himself he’s straight and he had already heard some of the other guys checking Maddie out and talking about her and he also has eyes and maybe he thinks that it will buy him some straight points if he gets with the hot girl that everyone was looking at. So, he’s flirting back a little and it isn’t too hard because Tommy is just charming without really trying and it is so much easier to be that way with women because there are no real emotional stakes. 

3. So, at some point they all go on a walk and Tommy kinda makes Maddie hang back to give Matt some alone time with Sarah because Tommy knows that Matt is planning on asking Sarah to marry him. He’s had a ring the whole time and Tommy is supposed to take pictures of them once they get to the right spot. Maddie is super excited and they get to know each other even more and Tommy tells her about why he had no family present. His mom left him and his dad when Tommy was younger. His dad turned to the bottle and he’s bitter and awful and hates Tommy (he doesn’t explain it’s because his dad is homophobic more than anything else). Maddie tells Tommy about her parents and how distant they are with her and her younger brother and she even spills about Daniel because Tommy is just such a good listener. Then the proposal happens and Maddie and Tommy take a bunch of pictures and then Sarah and Matt go off on their own back to a hotel room that Matt had already set up and Tommy and Maddie just decide to keep hanging out. Maddie will later think about the night with a lot of fondness but also remember that Tommy never touched her and never even tried to kiss her. 

4. Tommy and Matt only have the week off and Tommy decides to join them on their trip back to Hershey because it’s not like he wants to go home. Tommy sits up front with Maddie and they find out that they have a similar taste in music. That week they hang out a lot and maybe there’s even a run in with Doug who hasn’t left for Boston yet and Tommy stands up for Maddie and tells her that she’s better off without Doug. Maybe Doug reminds Tommy of his dad…or Tommy is just that good at reading people and he knows he’s not a good guy. This convinces Maddie that Tommy likes her. Maddie doesn’t really know what to do with Tommy not trying to get into her pants like any other guy would. It’s a little confusing, but on his last night there, he does kiss her but they don’t actually talk about being in a relationship or anything. Maddie actually rationalizes that he’s being respectful and a gentleman and it makes her like him even more. 

5. Over the next year, Maddie has started college (nursing) and Tommy has his army career. They write to each other weekly and very rarely get to talk on the phone. They both grow to really like each other despite the long distance. Tommy doesn’t ever make Maddie any promises though and while he may allow the guys to call her his girlfriend, he doesn’t refer to her that way. Somehow, Tommy does get to come home for Sarah and Matt’s wedding and that’s when they really solidify how serious they are about each other, making promises about getting married someday. Maddie thinks about Tommy as her best friend and why shouldn’t she also be in love with him? She never questions that her feelings aren’t actually that deep or that what she really loves is the safety of Tommy and the being able to tell people that her boyfriend is in the army. Tommy does care about Maddie, but he is also being selfish in that she’s a great cover for anyone that even suspects anything about his sexuality. By that point, Tommy is pretty sure that he is gay and he’s had his share of encounters while in the army to know for sure and even after him and Maddie put a label on things, he continues his dalliances with other closeted guys. He feels super guilty about it, but not enough to break things off with Maddie. 

6. With how little they manage to actually see each other…Tommy’s time off just seems to always coincide with Maddie being in the middle of school exams or other life things. But, eventually, several years in, Maddie begins to realize that what they have is not physical at all. They really have only kissed a few times. This is maybe also around the time when Maddie is starting to really recognize sexual attraction because maybe she’s met someone that is that enticing and that she is literally daydreaming about climbing like a tree. She recognizes that Tommy did make her feel that way back when they first met, but that maybe the lack of proximity has meant that she hasn’t allowed herself to think about them together like that. So, Maddie decides to tell Tommy that next time they see each other they have to talk about where things are going. So, they do talk and Tommy tells her that he could see them getting married and being happy someday, but that he understands if she doesn’t want to wait around for him because he knows how much it sucks. Up to this point, Tommy has tried to have sex with women and failed at it, so he doesn’t want to put himself in a situation where he hurts Maddie if they try, so he pivots and tells Maddie that she is free to explore things with other guys. Maddie is at first offended and then she realizes that she and Tommy have years to go before they could be in the same place at the same time consistently and that maybe opening the relationship is smart as long as they both remain committed to each other. She doesn’t even give much thought to her lack of jealousy at the idea that Tommy might find someone out where he’s stationed. So, Maddie’s one caveat is that they get engaged. Tommy gets her a ring, nothing too crazy, but meaningful. 

7. The engagement falls apart within the year. A big part of it is Maddie graduating and realizing that she can’t sit around waiting for the scraps that Tommy gives her when he is allowed to come stateside. It’s never enough and she just wants more. The thought of waiting even more years hurts despite how much she likes Tommy. Sarah’s life is also influential in that decision because Sarah is pregnant and Matt is about to come home for good, but Tommy’s contract due to him deciding to become a pilot is a lot longer. So, they break up. They’re both a little broken up about it, of course, because they are best friends, but they decide to cut off contact to make it easier. 

8. Maddie lines up a job in Hershey and she’s starting to look for a place of her own so she doesn’t get stuck living back home with her parents. She also starts dating again and suddenly, Doug has moved back from Boston and gotten a job at her hospital. Maddie is a little vulnerable and she gives him a second chance. Tommy hears about it from Sarah and he still cares about Maddie so he calls her. He convinces Maddie she deserves better and Maddie had been considering a job out of state, but she had figured that she’d be better off staying closer to her parents and brother, but Tommy tells her to dream big and encourages her to take it and leave. So, Maddie does and maybe Tommy writes or calls Doug and tells him to stay away from “his girl” and never tells Maddie about it. Doug is intimidated enough by the army pilot that he knows Maddie was engaged to so he lets her go and turns his eyes to another woman. 

9. Buck is devastated when Maddie tells him that she’s moving out of state for a job she can’t pass up. He’s just about to finish high school and so Maddie promises that Buck can come visit her for the summer before he starts college and then she gives Buck her Jeep because she wants a new car and that way he has some freedom from their parents and he doesn’t buy a motorcycle like she knows he was planning to. Buck does go visit as soon as High School is over and he really enjoyed driving out to see Maddie and he realizes that what he really wants is to just travel and see where the wind takes him. At first, it’s just for the summer, but then he just doesn’t go back to Pennsylvania. Maddie gave him a bit of money and Buck had some savings, but he did apply for college and got in and his parents, convinced that he’s going to be back in time for school to start, deposit the money that is meant for his first semester into an account so that they don’t have to worry about dealing with paying and Buck can just do it. (They did the same for Maddie and expected Buck to be responsible). So, Buck has enough money to get him going and eventually he starts to pick up jobs. While he does break contact with his parents, he updates Maddie and they’re in touch all the time and Buck even sends her post cards. Eventually, years later, Buck settles down in LA and starts at the fire academy. 

10. Tommy ends his contract with the Army and doesn’t go back. He does go see Maddie after and he finds her dating someone and happy, so they part as friends and try as he might, Tommy can’t make himself tell her the truth about his sexuality. They say they’ll keep in touch, but they don’t. Tommy goes to California and he joins the LAFD and gets placed at the 118. He pretends to be a serial dater with made up stories and never once tells anyone about Maddie and his engagement to her. Eventually, Bobby takes over as Captain and Tommy finally starts to open up. Bobby is actually the first person that he ever actually tells that he’s gay and Bobby keeps it secret from everyone else until Tommy is ready to tell them. Shortly after that, Tommy transfers to Harbor. He does consider calling Maddie to tell her but then decides against it figuring that she settled down with her boyfriend and doesn’t need Tommy popping up again. He finally starts to live his truth openly and yet he never seems to actually find the right guy. 

11. Years go by. Maddie and her boyfriend break up and it is awful. They also work together and that makes it even worse. Maddie really loved him and thought he was the one. She decides to take leave and go visit Buck in LA. He tells her she should move out there and after some consideration she agrees. She decides that she wants a change at least for a little bit, so Buck puts her onto dispatch. She and Chim meet and everything goes as it did in the show except no Doug. Sometimes Chim will mention his old friend Tommy who used to work at the 118, but Maddie never once thinks it’s her Tommy. Even after the night the 118 and Tommy fly out to save Athena and Bobby because Maddie never gets to meet him despite many attempts by Chim to get him over for dinner (he was too busy hanging out with Eddie. lol). Then, Buck starts dating the guy and asks if he can invite him to the wedding and Maddie is excited to meet the guy that has made his little brother realize something so big about himself. Of course, then Chim goes missing and the wedding is moved to the hospital and Maddie hasn’t given Tommy a thought the whole time. Then, Buck ducks out and comes back face covered in soot with Maddie’s ex-fiance’s hand in his and she is oh so very shocked. But Tommy has been working for close to 24hrs nonstop first in the air and then on the ground and he doesn’t even know if he’s seeing correctly. 

12. Maddie corners him first chance she gets while Buck is getting them cake and they have a quick conversation both of them laughing about the whole thing and promising to get another talk soon. Tommy offers her congratulations and praises her choice in husband. Buck returns and is a little confused because they did just meet, right? And then Tommy just spills. He and Maddie were in a long distance relationship while he was in the army. “A really, really chaste one, which makes so much sense now,” Maddie adds and that makes all of them feel better about it. Chim in particular thinks it’s hilarious and he tells Tommy that the laugh is the best present he could have gotten. 

13. Years later when Buck and Tommy are finally getting married, a wedding that actually goes to plan with no emergencies or anyone going missing, Maddie’s speech includes something about her and Tommy dating first but how she can attest that Tommy is a good guy and that she wouldn’t trust anyone else with her baby brother. 

Bonus: At some point (before her wedding) Doug is found dead in his own house and Sarah, who Maddie lost contact with, reaches out to send her an article about how he’d abused his wife and she lost it and stabbed him to death…Maddie remembers to thank Tommy sometime after her wedding because without him, that might have been her. 

2. Tommy - Hey man I'm so glad to hear youre out of rehab. I ran 3 miles last night in your honor! I found out I made the JV football team as a freshman which didnt seem like it was hard to do but everyone was congratulating me for it so I guess that means I'm cool ha ha. Yeah summer school was kind of a drag but I do feel like I understand algebra a lot better now. Thanks for helping with that final chapter of the book it made so much sense when you epxlained it like that. Okay here's the first week of high school gossip: Shayla Connor and Preston Riggles are dating he's the one who got caught with his pants off on top of the water tower remember that? Alyssa called me last night and said she wants me to take her to ice cream and I'm kinda freaking out about it man do you know how to like woo a girl? Would love some TIPS thanks in advance. I'm putting a copy of my algebra final in the envelope so you can be proud of me ha ha. From, Evan

Dear Evan, I stuck your algebra test on my fridge at my new apartment. Nice work, dude. JV football as a freshman is nothing to sneeze at, you should be proud of yourself for both those things. Appreciate the run. I've got two working legs again! Feels great. If I'm really slow about it I can even reach down and touch my toes. I give Shayla and Preston three weeks before they break up. Or, they'll surprise us both and get married right after graduation. I guess my best advice for taking a girl out is to pay attention to her. Not just the things she says but her body language, too. If she doesn't seem like she wants to kiss you, don't force it. If you're polite and friendly and you pay attention to her, all the girls will flock to you. And it's a good habit to get into. Are you doing geometry or are you going straight into trig this year? I'm going to a hiring fair for LA County jobs next week. Wish me luck. Your friend, Tommy

3. Hey Tommy, No man absolutely not I am never going to dye my hair green even for spirit week!!! Stop trying to relive your high school glory days through me LOL. It's so weird that high school's almost over. It feels like just yesterday I was getting your first letter in my mailbox remember that? You only wrote me back because you were so bored. But I'm really glad you did. I think you're the only reason I'm graduating on time and I mean it. Maddie hasn't called me back, no. I've left her like three messages and I wrote her two emails but nothing. Do you really think she's getting them? Jenna and I broke up. She got into Dartmouth early decision and she asked me if I wanted her to turn it down and go to Penn State instead so we could stay together and I was like Jenna are you crazy? She's the smartest girl I've ever met and I'm so humbled that she'd ever stoop to dating me dumb idiot Evan Buckley but she told me I was so kind and polite and I paid attention and I was like haha I learned that one from my cool older friend Tommy. But I didn't tell her that. I just hugged her goodbye and thanked her for a great year of dating and I wished her luck. She's going to be a great whatever it is that Sociology majors do. Glad to hear your SHITTY CAPTAIN IS GONE!!! YEE HAW!!! Best news I heard all week and it really turned my bad mood after Jenna around. I hope you guys get a good one after that you deserve it. And yeah I signed up for AP Calculus AB exam don't worry I'll get my college credits!! And Yes I'll thank you when I win the Noble prize in Math. Your Friend EVAN

Dear Evan, OK first of all the little envelope is filled with my flashcards from the Calc AB exam when I took it. They're ten years old sure but I don't think math has changed that much in the intervening years. Second of all your breakup with Jenna sounds like it was a really mature and well-reasoned decision. I'm proud of you, dude. You're going to make someone really, really happy someday. I'm sorry Maddie hasn't answered. I'm crossing my fingers that she'll have answered by the time you get this, but if she hasn't, it's not your fault. From what you've told me about her boyfriend he sounds like a real tool and she's probably doing the best she can in the situation. All you can really do is wait and be ready for her to come back. That's how it felt like with my mom, years ago. It feels really good to be free of our old captain. I didn't tell you when it happened because I didn't want to freak you out but he made a bad call at a scene once that got me pretty badly injured. So it's like a huge weight off my shoulders to know he won't be able to do that to me or anyone else again. Let me know if you need any help with college essays. I'm less good at those than I am with numbers but I'm not completely stoopid when it comes to writing. Your friend, Tommy

4. Hey Tommy, Thanks for telling me. No it doesn't change anything I still think you're the coolest guy I've ever wait I guess we've never met. The coolest guy I've never met? And I'm an ally I hope you know that by now. I support you. I think it's so awesome that you're saying it out loud and I'm proud of you. I'm still in Montana but not for much longer, the season is winding down and I'm looking for what to do next. My bunk mate says the surfing is really awesome in South America on the Pacific coast so maybe I'll head down that way? I guess we'll see where the wind takes me. And yes I'll be careful I promise. I'll send you a postcard from my next address! Look forward to it in your mailbox! Your friend, Evan

[RETURN TO SENDER - ADDRESSEE LEFT NO FORWARDING ADDRESS] Hey Tommy! Thinking of you in beautiful ISLA SAN LORENZO! The surf is awesome down here you should check it out sometime if you ever take a vacation! I'm heading to LA next, maybe we could meet up! -Evan

5. To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: long time no talk? Hey, Tommy. Hope this is still your email, I don't have your address anymore. I know it's been a few years since we last wrote to each other. I just need a friend to talk to tonight. Remember my sister Maddie? She had a baby earlier this year and I think she's having post partum depression. She left my niece at my work (I work with her boyfriend, not the same guy as before) and disappeared. She told me where she went and told me not to tell her boyfriend and I tried to keep the secret and he punched me. My friends and my coworkers and my girlfriend are all telling me I'm an idiot and stuff. I don't know. I'm just trying to do the right thing but every time I try I feel like I do it wrong. Anyway sorry to dump this all on you out of nowhere. I just need someone to talk to who isn't enmeshed in my life like everyone else is. I hope you're doing well. I miss our letters. Thanks for always writing back when I was a stupid kid trying to figure life out. -Evan

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: RE: long time no talk? Holy shit, Evan. Yeah it's still me. I'm amazed you remembered my old email address. I'm glad I decided to check it tonight. Yeah, I remember Maddie. I'm glad she's not with the old guy. Is the new guy any better? Doesn't seem like it, if he hit you. Maybe there were mitigating circumstances, I don't know. But I don't think you deserved that. You're a conscientious person and a good brother. I've known you for... how long has it been, 15 years? And I know we've just been penpals, but I really do feel like I have a good sense of you as a person. And you're a good one. Don't let this change you, okay? Keep the line of communication with your sister open. I'm glad she's getting help. I must have moved in between postcards, back when you were leaving Montana. Did you ever make it to South America? How was the surfing? Glad you emailed me, Evan. I don't want to lose contact again. Any time you need to talk, just send me a message, okay? Heard any good drama from the grapevine lately? What ever happened to Shayla Connor? Your friend, Tommy

+ bonus 6:

"Hey, Chimney," Buck says, as the car pulls into the Harbor station lot. "What did you say this guy's name was?"

"Tommy," Chimney says, distracted, as he backs into a parking spot. So stupid. They're trying to be discreet. "Kinard."

Buck squeezes his fist in his pocket. There's probably dozens of Tommy Kinards in the world. Maybe not in Los Angeles, and maybe not all firefighters, and maybe not all helicopter pilots, but--it can't be him. The world's not that small.

They sneak across the lot and duck through the access door to where all the helicopters are sitting around. A tall figure is leaning against one of them, partially hidden in shadow; he uncrosses his legs and stands up as they approach.

"So this is your strike team?" he asks, and Chimney laughs and goes in for a hug.

"Yeah, man. Tommy, this is Eddie--" Eddie says hi, barely looking up from his phone-- "And Buck."

Buck reaches out a hand. "Evan Buckley," he says, and he sees Tommy's beautiful eyes glint in the wan light of the hangar. "From Hershey, Pennsylvania."