¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I will hire your services at my wedding thanks

Oh I do this for free as long as there's food at the reception for me

Having worked in the wedding industry, I’m telling you, you could make a fortune doing this. The number of times I had to tell a mother of the groom/bride to pipe down and stop causing scenes was unreal.

#how much the entire cast of mamma mia loves mamma mia is the best part of mamma mia

It’s like the opposite of Twilight 

squad

we dem b o y z

This is still one of the best executed jokes I’ve ever seen

before I yeet the fuck off this mortal coil is now the only acceptable way to say ‘die’

Just for once I’d like to tell the gate agents and flight attendants that my folding wheelchair is going into the onboard closet and not have them tell me there’s “no room”. Bitch that’s a wheelchair closet, not a “your bags” closet. Move your damn bags where they belong.

@annieelainey you should share this with your followers! This is important info!!

To my mutuals on wheels, print out the law before you fly and whip it out at the gate if they don’t accomodate your wheels.

Thanks a lot for posting this, bro! Flying while crippled is already difficult enough without people pulling this kind of shit. Also, make sure that if there is a piece of your wheelchair or something important missing off of it, that you make a big fucking deal out of it! I’ve had pieces fall off of my wheelchair and nearly lost a decoration I had on it that meant a lot to me because people were careless with my chair. Don’t let them mistreat your wheelchair.

*butler voice* your vibes, sir

wizards are just like I studied my whole life to do magic and bards are just like I can magically play the flute and I am here to fuck

wizards are just like I just got my 18th phD and bards are just like haha watch this and they roast you so bad you die

drake and josh

why dippin dots always at obscure places. never just at the store. just wondering

I’ve never seen a meme with such a clear expiration date as “let’s raid Area 51 on September 20th” because some loon is gonna do it and they’re either gonna get shot or disappeared and ain’t nobody gonna be joking about it any more