i'm leaving behind religion [christianity] after 20 years of being a follower. just felt alienated as time rolled on and on and boxed in.
any advice to someone fairly new at being an atheist or agnostic for the rest of their foreseeable lives?
Hi. I haven't really looked at Tumblr in a few years, so I apologize if you left this a while ago.
First, I'd like to say, congratulations! It takes a lot to leave something behind when so much of your life was invested in it. I wasn't Christian as long as you, but I remember the the challenges of leaving well. I can also relate to feeling alienated. I'll be back on here from time to time, and you can always reach out for support.
That said, I've been on this journey for a bit over a decade now, so I can definitely give some advice. The things I'll mention are in no particular order, and how important each thing is will vary from person to person.
I'm a bit more agnostic these days myself.
I'm sure it goes without saying that religion leaves a deep impression on our psyche. For me personally, the hardest things to lose were the hell anxiety and the "wrong" feeling I had about being part of the LGBT community. I'm not sure what will be hardest for you.
It took me a few years to really get into deconstruction, so I learned why it's important the hard way. A big part of that has been reading the works of bible scholars. Bart D. Ehrman is my current favorite. Ehrman is an atheist bible scholar. He actually started out Christian himself and he has a lot of good books. The first one I read was 'Heaven and Hell: A Guided Tour of the Afterlife.' I found it pretty helpful for getting rid of the remnants of hell anxiety. I'm currently reading 'Did Jesus Exist?' There's something really special about understanding the origins and evolution of your own former beliefs.
I think it's also important to pay attention to any Christian habits and thought patterns that may come up during this time, if that makes sense. For example, you might still feel the urge to pray or look for easy comfort at times. Be kind to yourself, especially as your work though the impact religion had on you.
Even though I'm no longer Christian, I appreciate a lot of Jesus's teachings. I see why they might have been useful for people of his time, and some of them are timeless.
In a similar vein, it's important to find out what (if any) emotional needs religion might have filled for you. Then find other ways to fill them. For example, if the church was a community for you, you might benefit from communities, built by and for nonbelievers. I think finding a community that doesn't alienate you is especially important in our lonely time.
Now is a great time to find hobbies and others in a similar position, ideally irl. If Christianity cut you off from things you enjoyed or wanted to do, you can do those things now! Find people and things that fill your cup.
For me, there's also been a lot of freedom in not having some "god-ordained" purpose. My life's purpose is whatever I make it, and while I may not be able to do everything I want to do, I definitely feel like I've done a lot more positive stuff in the world than I would have if I stayed religious. Everything feels much more genuine now.
I hope that helps. Enjoy the journey. If anyone has anything to add feel free.
