Secretly a Lizard

the breath weapon princess would like you to all assemble in a thirty foot cone

not just any guy, that's the model for the 1st edition Vampire: the Masquerade cover!

Show daddy that nice picture again

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

yeah, sure, it was the "power of friendship" that defeated you, and not my super cool "mega bone explosions" spell that I worked really hard on, whatever idiot

Next month I finally start my overnight shift at the lab and while I'm not sure how easily I'll adjust to becoming fully nocturnal, and not sure if I'll want to remain on night shift forever, I do think it's funny that my trainers so far have been gassing me up as a potential overnight supervisor if I can stick it out, and not just because I'm basically a natural at everything they're showing me but also because it will be a really funny bit for them to turn future new hires over to the pale and ethereally beautiful overnight supervisor named Carmilla who looks much younger than she actually is and works with the lab's blood samples. imagine being a new hire at a big empty overnight laboratory and your supe Carmilla adds you to her team slack channel and it's called #thralls

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.